Be Still

 

I didn't realize visiting the Carmelite House of Prayer would be as beautiful, enriching or spiritually symbolic as I thought. The evening before my birthday, I pulled out my Bible and was reading the passage from the Gospel of Matthew 14:22-33, where Jesus walks on water. Jesus walks on the water and his disciples are aware of it but in a fearful and alarming way, claiming that its a ghost. Their hearts are troubled and frightened. Right away Jesus says, "Courage! It's me! Don't be afraid." Peter said to Jesus if it is Him, then tell him to come to him across the water. And Jesus says, 'Come.' Too soon after, Peter notices the wind and is frightened, loses his balance and is focused on what is wrong rather than on Jesus who is straight ahead. "Lord, save me!" Jesus put out his hand immediately and held him. Jesus said to Peter, "You have so little faith, why did you doubt?" As they got into the boat, the wind dropped and the men in the boat bowed down before him saying, "Truly, you are the Son of God."

I took some time to reflect upon this passage, and I began to realize and come across how meaningful it all was. Sometimes reading scripture it doesn't come across directed at you or your life, but just a great story, wonderful examples of Jesus' healing power, mercy, love, and compassion or others' testimony to faith. However, a lot spoke to me after reading this Gospel passage and I kept rereading parts of it to uncover for myself.

I noticed how still Jesus is, walking on water, and of course He is God, so nothing is impossible for Him. As well as the stillness and certainty of his answers, concise yet meaningful responses- 'Courage', 'Don't be afraid', 'Its me'. How reassuring they are, instilling confidence and peace. And even when Peter wants that confirmation that we all seek and desire as a form of trustful testing, Jesus says right away, 'Come'. It's an invitation, a gentle yet direct response opening his arms, his heart to Peter's attempt.

I couldn't help but refer back to this passage reading as we visiting the beautiful and peaceful grounds of the Carmelite House. On the other side, was the pond, and out on the water was a Jesus statue depicting his scared heart, with his arms open and inviting. I also immediately noticed the flowerlike lily pads strewing and floating on the sides. 

Looking upon all of this, I thought of the past year for me and at times being like Peter, focused too much on the waves and storms of life, rather than God's enduring presence and love right in front of me. But even when I so often acted like Peter, the response of Jesus is also one I want to focus on, extending his hand at once and holding him. I can think of the various moments regarding this past year where that was true; perhaps I didn't come across it or feel it right away, but looking back I know He has never left me and always had His arms around me, holding me and helping me back up again. Seeing this image of Jesus out on the pond was gentle reminder to remember that for this new year ahead. 

It was really special visiting this place, with having a devotion/connection to the Carmelites. Also, looking out at the scenic and still water held a lot of meaning to me. The lily pads reminded me of the fruit, the blessings bestowed upon the endurance amidst the murky waters of life. It showcased the value of trust, hope, joy and unfailing faith to push through the storms and clouds. I feel that I can see the flowers now in my own season of life, especially after a tumultuous and growing year. 

Being still is not what I experienced last year, but one I want to instill as my motto for this year. Jesus is a constant in our lives, a peaceful presence and stillness that calms the waves and fears in our lives. My sweet sister gave me a mug for my birthday with Psalm 46:10, Be still and Know (that I am God). 

 I came across a little verse note that went with a bracelet my sister gave me for Christmas a few years ago. The note had Psalm 46:10 on it and read "Be still means to cease or relax. In this case, we are called to stop all the busyness in our lives, surrender, and acknowledge the Lord. All good things come from Him, and when we put Him first, everything else will fall into its proper place." I hope and pray this year to be one of stillness, peace and joyful trust. And happy feast day of St. Peter, and Paul today!