St. Clare Mission

There's something beautiful, awe inspiring, breathtaking to visit a mission church. I had particularly wanted to visit this mission, St. Clare of Assisi for a few years, but somehow getting sick, rainy winter weather deterred the plan during one of my breaks and I forgot about it. However, it was still something I wanted to do and see at some point. My parents and I made the trip an excursion of historical sites as well as my dad grew up close to that area. It was special to visit my dad's parents grave site, and for the month of November. 

Going to St. Clare's Mission church was very nice. It is nicely kept up and renovated, elegant and with beautiful scenery- a water fountain, rose garden and on the heart of the Santa Clara University campus. What a joy and gift to have a mission and Jesus present right in the center of the campus.

Visting this beautiful mission and lush campus with nicely kept lawns, roses and flowers, and refreshing greenery made me want to learn more about St. Clare of Assisi. I remember reading a book about her a couple of years ago and want to find and read it again. It said in a pamphlet that it's the first Mission church named after a woman saint. 

It's always so interesting seeing inside a Mission and the intricacies, images, paintings, statues and also comparing it to other missions.  Immediately, I noticed it was a much bigger and longer church than other ones I've seen. I really liked the prayerful and sorrowful statue image of Jesus crucified, it looked more realistic and so much to ponder on and pray with. I couldn't take my eyes off of it. 'You did that for me, how can I not suffer for you- knowing you are with me, in this torturing and painful depiction on the cross.'

Relic of St. Bernadette

 I recently was thinking of St. Bernadette. I found a book to read about her that is even an easy read for older children. I found a prayer card dedicated to Our Lady of Lourdes in the church and started praying it for intentions.

 As I was reading through and looking through my quote and spiritual binder, I felt encouraged and inspired. I looked through the folder part with some loose paper and found a talk I wrote for high school confirmation students about fortitude and included St. Bernadette in my talk and found more information about her that the confirmation director gave to help with the talk. Fortitude happens to be my word for the year. 

I had realized that today I had planned to visit the relic of St. Bernadette. And I came to found that I had a devotion to her, though only knowing bits and pieces of her and her life. I really like Our Lady of Lourdes and often stop to pray and contemplate if I see a statue of her. I did the consecration to our Lady- 33 days to Morning Glory on Our Lady of Lourdes feast day, February 11th. 

It's interesting seeing a relic (I think 1st class), as there's not a lot of time, but also sometimes pressure or not sure what to pray, how to adore this sacred object. I remember kneeling before a first-class relic of St. Carlo Acutis with high school confirmation students 2 years ago, and it was so moving and powerful. 

With St. Bernadette's, I had a simple prayer in my mind and heart and touched my rosary bracelet from my dear sister that I wear everyday to the relic. I thought of St. Bernadette's simple demeanor and childlike optimism, strength, virtue and trust. 

According to the pamphlet I have, she only lived until she was 35.

Like I wrote, I love Our Lady of Lourdes and want to have a devotion to St. Bernadette as well. I think this is just the start. 

Taking a Coffee Break

 Entering into that cafe again filled my mind with memories like butterflies taking up the sky with their colorful flutters. That time of being stressed, overwhelmed, uncertain and anxious reentered that space for a bit. Spring rain, and cloudy weather interspersed with sunshine, blooms and later sunsets was once that time period, just roughly and a year in a half ago. 

When I would take a coffee break halfway through my work or going there for a bit before my work had helped since it was anxiety inducing, soul sucking and a small workplace. Those days, I felt like I was just getting by and surviving amidst the anxiety from a coworker, and stress and uncertainty and overwhelm with my master's program. 

That little cafe- with its coffee, treats (Croissants and Cheese Danish being my favorite) and ambiance was a nice break away from the storm. One time I went there before work, and instead of doing my assignments and writing, I desperately wanted to study language and do my own endeavors that felt more mentally relaxing and freeing. That time was a mental hurdle, to keep going, striving, and persevering.

Visiting there with my sister and nephew recently was special. It brought back that hard time, but also all the blessings- of having my sister as my dear friend and her support, all the graces and blessings I've received, and all the way God has helped me and has continued to unfold since then. This journey I've been on has had meaning and purpose. It makes more sense now, to be where I am now, as a teacher, working with students and really listening to the God given desire and gift I had once put off to the side. 

Freeing

 I've never felt freer that day. Though I was rushing and only realized until I was driving on the freeway that I didn't have my phone, I knew I would survive, but admittedly it felt odd to not look for something in my purse and check the time every so often or for updates. However, as the day progressed, I never felt freer. I didn't have to think about or focus so much on a screen, an extra distraction and reminder taking away oftentimes of living in the present, and of staying attentive to all the beautiful and good around me. 

It was a freedom I've never actually experienced, since I've never forgotten my phone before. Quite honestly, it's a freedom I haven't recalled since perhaps not having a phone or at least a smart phone 10 or more years ago. I thought perhaps I would have many things that I would need to check or missed once I got home, but rather the contrary and that made me think even more so about always having a phone tied to you.

Yesterday, I chose to turn off my phone which lasted for most of the day. I knew this would help me immensely with focusing on the things I need to get done and it did help me a lot on staying productive. It also quickly made me forget about it and just focus on the present.

While driving in the car, my phone was still turned off, and I didn't turn on the radio. Though it was tempting at times, it helped me to stay focused on the present moment, the beautiful Fall lighting, memories, thoughts and the golden leaves on the trees.