Grassy Hill

 That grassy hill side, where I looked out and parked my car every morning, it came to me early on in the school year of relating it to Psalm 23- The Lord is my Shepherd. 

I loved the overhang so the sun wouldn't beat down too strongly on my car, and seeing that grassy hill, the back side of the school was the refreshing part of my mornings, as I would recall, 'The Lord is my Shepherd, He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside still waters; he restores my soul.'

I would imagine sheep would be grazing on that small hill, and God would be making everything turn out for the good. All the hard parts, loneliness, isolation, discernment and doubt be brought into something.

 That something of a school year, one where I felt so sure and lead where I was in the very beginning, soon enough morphed into feeling so depleted of energy, excitement, belonging and purpose. 

I felt like I was drifting and not really sure the next steps. I was usually at a loss for words and direction, just putting one step in front of the other. 

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Last winter, I came about a homily from Fr. Mike Schmitz. I thought it was profound and made me contemplate deeper with his words, "Your vocation is your deep longing meeting the world's deep need. Do what you know, where you are." 

That encouraged me to continue doing what I was doing- going to a job environment I didn't like or thrive in, and just to do it well, in the classes I was in, even the difficult ones and students I was helping. Trying to find the good and blessings in the mundane.

Fr. Schmitz also mentioned an amazing man I never heard about, who later would become friends with Pope John Paul II. He's now Servant of God or Venerable Jan Trunosky. His life was simple. It was impactful and meaningful yet hidden. He influenced St. Pope John Paul II to become a priest!

That next Monday morning I prayed and thought of Venerable Jan and asked him to help me in my job and to do it well, to bring about some good. It made all the difference, that mindset those winter months. Slowly but suddenly, I felt things changing internally.

Doing what I knew, where I was only helped me to see deeper, clearer of what God was preparing me for, to be a teacher.