A Creative Mess

My room is a mess to say the least. It has books strewed in a corner, piled and stacked like dominoes about to tumble, spill and fill up space, minds and inspiration. I have yet to work with and handle tissue paper and wrap and structure it like a rose. I bought fake flowers today- lilies and red and blue daisies or something of the sort to fill my decorated Quaker oats vase with pretty flowers that are always fresh. The other night, my dresser almost fell all the way over because of too many shelves open and an unbalanced weight which caused practically everything that had been on my dresser that was dusty, random and waiting for my use fell over. All of my recent Arabic flashcards paraded the floor and I couldn't help think of the symbolism.

These past few weeks have been interesting. It's been an emotional ride, and a heavy weight to lift with a limited amount of inspiration to throw in the mix. My studies of Arabic have been put on hold or decreased with a less intense passion than before which is okay because it's a sign of maturity, growing and room for the next endeavor. I feel like my heavy dresser with many things piled on top that have to wait which include hobbies, goals, future interests and starting and continuing with creative projects. The way the Arabic cards splashed on my not so recently vacuumed carpet depicted how my heart felt, I guess my internal being just knew or felt called to let go of Arabic in a way I never knew before. It has been such a connecting force in my life for 3 years and have shaped the way I think, and other revolving interests and even helped cure my loneliness and dark moments in the past. But something is changing and perhaps a new chapter, a new outlook and a new language and other things to embrace on the side are developing.

This weekend has been wet and rainy and perfect for coffee shops, indoor activities and rain walks. Yesterday on my walk/run, I realized how much I needed to get out and get some fresh air and exercise after a busy and tiring week. Light purple roses caught my attention, and the beauty of a Saturday morning couldn't have felt more relaxed. How much I felt in my element, inspired and in tune with myself. My long hair would soon be cut and these past 6 months since it has grown out will no longer be with me. And 6 months ago my dear nephew was born and life has been going quickly. Santiago's little personality is shining through more and more and his interests in new things excites him and his optimistic personality and smile is a gift to the world, and to me. I can't wait to see and hold him again.

This week I want and I will try to say yes to more prayer time, more time to allow for creativity and inspiration to reign, relaxation, laughter, language learning and other things that I can't think of now but will come later.