This Week

 The first week of school is done! What a busy, tiring and somewhat long week. I wouldn't have anticipated how exhausting or busy it would be. There really is no comparison to how things were last year with zoom and distant learning and now being back in person. First, how are those Freshman now Juniors? They have grown so tall, and more mature and now upper classmen. I remember working with them in assignments and they were so new and fresh to high school and now they have whizzed through practically experts on high school and no longer a little person on campus. How fast time really does go!

Second, I feel so different than I did around a year ago. Mentally, for starters I feel healthier, busier and more fulfilled and part of something. I was searching for that last year, to grow and be part of something bigger and give my skills and interests, but I had no idea what it was. Little did I know it was right around the corner or rather right in front of my face that I never actually looked into. I was looking in other directions. 

Third, I didn't think I would miss any bit of what last year was and it what it brought. But surprisingly, this past week I was remembering and trying to detail the intricate memories of what it was like to be in a classroom solo and just get by, making the best of the situation. I somehow missed some of those moments because they were so personal, real and showcasing all I got. It was a challenge to keep it up and to know it was just a season. I remember how painful things were, and how much I was growing internally, but literally alone. I don't want to forget those days since I showed myself some of my true self in those hardest and loneliest moments. I don't want to forget it since its allowed me to grow and appreciate some of the lighter days now. I feel like its my own secret within the walls and no one else saw or knows it, of course besides God and others who I told and lamented to. 

Fourth, I want this school year to be a great one and memorable! I feel better and more excited so far, and also to continue and focus on this journey that I'm on; to continue to grow and learn most especially within my program. Its also a special time to be with my parents and cultivate more memories and just appreciate this time.

And 5th, to ultimately grow closer to God and what He wants for me in this season. There are many lessons and things to be learned and I want to hone in on what He is whispering, showing and guiding me. In the heavy traffic before work, I want to be more present to the day ahead and the great gift and blessing it is. And to know of His presence, love and provision is the most important thing to remember. He is never far off!

Summer Reading

 Once the last day of school was over, I went over to the local used bookstore. My intention was initially purchasing a gift card for my brother's birthday, but it was enjoyable browsing through some of the shelves. I came across the fiction section and John Steinbeck's books, one of them I had recently finished, 'The Pearl'. It felt like summer officially. I could relax and thoroughly enjoy perusing a bookstore after a very long, mundane, tumultuous, and growth filled school year (I am proud of myself for sticking out the school year!). I was excited to be having more time for reading and leisure after a busy semester and enjoy books of my choice.

Books, for me have been a long time love. I get excited and inspired easily when I am in a library or bookstore, thinking about what subjects or titles I would be interested in delving into, reading about, discovering if it piques my interest for short or long term. A side hobby is researching beforehand of topics or titles that the library might have and then awaiting the arrival of the book or finding it myself.

 When I went to the library a few days ago, I enjoyed browsing through the different aisles and sections and was surprised with coming home with a few books. I wasn't so much thinking about the few books I was carrying, bur rather that I had found nearly all of them in the library shelves and was actually interested in them enough to check them out, and not through research and a click through link + which a majority of books I get from. 

If I were to choose my favorite past time, it would be reading. It's the hobby that I never get tired or bored with; I can easily come back to it. It's the first thing that can help me rejuvenate when I'm mentally and socially drained, exhausted and just want to recharge and gain some inspiration and knowledge. Other things come after to help, but reading for leisure or spiritual reading always wins.

So far this year, I've read some new books that I have never read before, as well as some repeated titles. I know some people think its pointless to reread a book after reading it once, but to me, there are some exceptions. For instance, I am rereading 'Yes, Chef', by Marcus Samuelsson for the 4th time. He's my favorite chef, I love his journey and story, his passion for cooking and flavors. And there's so much detail along the way, its easy to forget or miss it the 1st, 2nd or 3rd time.  

In April, I reread for the 2nd time 'The Road to Daybreak' by Henri Nouwen. I love his writing, and his melancholy reflectiveness. He was a Catholic priest and wrote many spiritual books. I've read a few of his books, but I find it helpful, useful and enjoyable to read and well as reread his works. 

I mentioned earlier the classic, 'The Pearl' by John Steinbeck. I had read it once in the 7th grade of English class, but honestly, reading it this time around I gained so much more themes and meaning hidden within that as a 13 year old I easily missed.

In March, I reread 'My Sisters the Saints' by Colleen Carroll Campbell. I read it last summer and enjoyed it so much, learned and gained a lot from her journey of faith, vocation, marriage and motherhood as well as her favorite saints. She's a talented writer, and I would like to read her first book sometime.

There are a few other books that I have reread this year, and I found them to be inspiring once again after a short or long period. Though summer is slowly drawing to a close, with schedules restarting and progressing back up again, I will still find time to read, to enjoy the process of it all, and to continue to learn in various areas. My favorite season is coming up, and what better way to spend the crisp days turning the pages of a book.

Connecting Writing Like a Family Tree

 Writing is interesting. With more open time (though quickly coming to a close) I would think I would easily make more time and become inspired with creative writing. I've had this progression and plan for a story for some time but didn't know how to go about it since its more related to genealogy from my grandmother, my dad's mom. I have some research and family trees borrowed from my sister from my Uncle, and it was supposed to be this summer project especially after a busy spring. What better way to enjoy some downtime and create this fiction, non-fiction story and put it down on paper. 

I'm not sure why I haven't formed any substantial ideas to record and start the process. I blame some of it on not feeling creative enough, with not enough good ideas or just feeling a bit unstimulated at times and looking ahead to a busier schedule that may give me more inspiration and ideas I've been seeking. Or maybe not. Maybe when I am more preoccupied, I wont have time, energy or any good economic advantage to pursue this story.

I know with my story writing, it needs to come from within, from a deep sense and urge, motivation to create and share a story, a perspective, and a purpose to name a few. I think this story would have a purpose since it has to do with my history and lineage, the past colliding with the present. And when I was bored last year and not busy or stimulated at my job, I created a whole family tree of characters, families, different generations that connected. I loved thinking of their history, their names, ages, children and cousins, though it was all fiction, somehow it came easily onto paper to imagine another generation of characters that was already formed in my prior story. 

I think I sense the pattern. Of being innovative, and creating something out of nothing, forming a story to share, how wonderful and powerful that journey is. These last days of summer vacation I want to make meaningful, special, innovative, and maybe this story will become part of it as I lean in to developing my creative writing and cultivating that reward of inspiration again.