Photos and Friends Senior Year

 The summer heading into Senior year was exciting and fun. One of the events being visiting our cousin in Ashland, Oregon for a few days in early August. It was one of my sister's idea and so the 4 of us girl drove up the 10 hours to see her. It had been about 5 years since we had last seen her, in what felt like a long time and a lot had happened. It was an enjoyable time to catch up with her and her life there, and have excursions and see parts of Ashland that we summarized as a hippie town. 

I had recently turned 18, and I remember had a low key but nice birthday that summer. I had stable friends but didn't feel like do anything fancy for my bday celebration, as I usually just enjoyed family time. It was nice to be a Senior and have one last year of High school. I was still taking some hard classes like AP Psych, Anatomy and I had difficult times in Civics and Economics. 

I no longer had the Students for Life Club as it was too much of a stressor for me the year prior and what felt like a burden. I already felt rather busy with some of my harder classes and that September I landed a job at IHOP. It was my first real job and it was a quite the learning curve. I didn't feel like I got much training, and was mostly just thrown into a hostess position. I didn't like it at all, I disliked my uniform, and overall just felt uncomfortable and awkward in what felt like a mature work environment with no one really my age. That job ended as quickly as it started, but I was happy and felt relieved since I didn't feel ready for a job outside of babysitting at that time and didn't want my grades to suffer. 

That Fall was when a former contact came back to school as she was out of the area for her Junior year. I remembered her as we played on the same basketball team in 6th grade and briefly got to know each other in early high school. We hit it off that school year, and I started feeling closer to her than other friends that we shared. Overtime, I felt like we had more things in common that we could relate to. It was nice having her around, and she was naturally more social than me so that helped. We didn't always agree in political viewpoints or controversial topics but I was glad that we could discuss things without ruining our friendship. 

I also remember that Fall I visited my dear sister who was living in SF and finishing up her college studies. She lived in a little back room that was cute and quaint. It was my first time taking the public transit alone since I always had Susie to take Bart with in high school. If I wasn't so afraid, I would have visited much more frequently since it was only about an hour ride. It was a fun weekend we had spent together catching up with each other about our schedules and lives. I remember she had recently cut her bangs in a blunt style and they looked so good on her. We were always talking about fashion and fun things like that. She even offered to shop for and find me my homecoming dress that Fall, it was a halter style and a deep blue/purple. It was so thoughtful of her to do that for me.

Come January, I was ready for Senior year to be over and desperately had Senioritis, as they say. I didn't love my classes. I had  Econ start at 7am and that was always hard to be excited for. The class that was kind of interesting was Foods, I took it with a different teacher than Junior year and liked her teaching style and the different things we got to cook. I had the same teacher for Math I did Freshman year which was fine, he was always calling me, 'Redmond!' and my English teacher was the same as Sophomore year. I didn't admire his character at all since I found him to be so uncreative an uninspiring to the subject matter. I also had a rather annoying guy who would try to talk to me and sit near me through the school year especially towards the end of the year.

For community service hours, I made blankets with my friend Natasha to donate to an organization and we had fun making them together at my house. We had other fun outings together, talking more about common interests and laughing together. She loved photography and taking pictures and she always thought that I could be a model, and I always disagreed. 

Senior year brought with it its own musings and contemplation. At times I felt deep in thought and enjoyed reading and going to the library, writing and running throughout the weeks. I also enjoyed writing letters to my camp friends during the school year and describing to them what I was up to. 

Thinking about college, I never blinked an eye to attending a University first. I just knew deep down that I wasn't ready for that and also didn't have any inkling to what I would study. I felt confident in pursuing community college first and didn't even bother with college applications and essays. It was split between my friends. One of the would be moving at the end of the school year to Texas with her family and attending a JC there, and another would be pursuing Medical school in Ireland. It would be me and Natasha who would be staying local to attend community college first. And I'm grateful, since I grew a lot during that time of transition to a junior college and grateful that I still had a friend nearby whom I could see and catch up with often. 

I went to more school events Senior year than years prior such as homecoming skit night, Mr. Amador, and of course Senior Ball and Grad Night. I couldn't find any dress I liked to wear to Ball, so I was open to my Mom making a dress for me. With material discounted, it came roughly to $20! It was a toga style and definitely unique and original. But I loved wearing it that night, and liked the dark, mid night blue color. I knew no none else would have the same dress as me, that's for sure! I enjoyed deciding how I wanted to do my hair and my make up and got my nails manicured. I had fun with the group and the 2 friends I went with, and one slow dance with the guy who liked me from English class. 

For graduation, I knew that I wanted to pick my Math teacher from Junior year to hand me my diploma. She was by far a favorite teacher of mine, and an added plus that she made me feel so confident at Math as well as enjoy it! It was special to choose her as the memories from her class really helped and bolster my self-esteem that year. 

Ending high school felt amazing and looking up at the starry night that warm June night was thrilling and rewarding! I felt ready to get a FB account and get a phone- claim my mom's flip phone as my own. That summer I made a quick decision to participate in the Lights, Camera, Action program for a week in LA. We had a fun and full graduation party combined for a few of my siblings graduating college and myself. I was ready for the next chapter and see what lie ahead.

Those Treasured Fall Days

 

I came across this photo recently and it brings back certain memories. It was mid October 2011 and my sisters and I were having fun snapping photos of each other in the Fall air. It was a glorious autumn Sunday and my dear sister had moved back home and my other sweet sister was visiting from college. I had recently started my first semester of Junior College. I felt the newness and hardness of navigating school in every where, especially when it came to friends and forming connections. 

What made that part of the semester a bit more enjoyable was having my dear sister with me on campus as she was taking a Spanish night class. A few times, I remember meeting up with her on campus, as she would come to the campus earlier before one of my classes and we would have lunch together and talk. That was a real treat!

The next day after this photo was taken, her and I had some time together in the mid morning before one of my classes. We were chatting about majors and jobs that could pertain to it. She initially gave me the idea of English to major in or creative writing and gave some good sisterly advice of doing more research about some jobs/careers associated with it. I also recall her driving me to school a number of times on Wednesdays, her day off from her job at Kumon. Those car rides were a nice alternative to the bus ride and a chance to have some more time together during her day off. 

I also remember a time when she bought me lunch and brought it to school. She had went to the Mall before hand and bought herself a fashionable blazer like cardigan, similar to a style she liked. It was always refreshing and enjoyable to spend time together as I was adjusting. I stayed later one time before her evening Spanish class started and we were talking in the library. She was talking and researching jobs about flight attendants. It was inspiring hearing about her ideas, as she was a newly college graduate and I was just dipping my toes into the thrills and novelty of it all. 

Over time, that first semester became easier and more enjoyable. I do remember a lot of pain of feeling alone navigating my classes and transitioning to a new campus with a new and longer bus route (those bus rides became a time of reflection, reading and connecting with other students). Those months would eventually become a bit easier and more enjoyable as I met more people,  got involved on campus. I would start feeling more connected and part of my school, making connections and friends.

I do treasure those Fall days because they allowed for creativity and a depth to shine through unlike I had experienced prior. I remember missing some memories from high school and my small friend group, as well as the less rigorous work load and content in some classes. But there were many good things that happened during that time, (like creating my first blog- another idea from my sister!) 

These October days have a special feel too, and 10 years ago is something to behold and be grateful for. A lot of growth and realizations, but also a lot of the same as God has guided me through. 

October Feast Day

 It was a beautiful start to the morning yesterday, with the orange hues slowly lighting up the sky as a backdrop to the dark blue paints of the early morning sky. It's October 1st, the first day of my favorite month, and loveliest month of Fall. Also, the feast day of St. Therese of Lisieux, a saint and a family I admire. 

It was only a year ago that I learned more about this inspiring saint's family, her parents, St. Zelie and St. Louis Martin as well as her other siblings, 4 who died as infants or toddler age, and her 4 older sisters who like her entered into religious life and the same Carmelite Convent. (Except for her sister Leonie who joined the Visitation Order). It's all due to my dear sister who had read more about St. Therese's parents and family that made me intrigued to know more after her telling all about the interesting details and intricacies of the Martin Family from France. 

I think its amazing to feel connected, inspired or encouraged from a saint family. Just like St. Therese, I am also the youngest daughter, with 4 older sisters. I seen and witnessed their lives, vocations develop and have had so manty fun, special and memorable times together. I can connect with St. Therese in this way, and feel a special connection to her because of it. 

This summer on my birthday, we visited a Carmelite House and saw a statue in front of the grounds of St. Therese. Last Fall, I was reading books about the Martin family and St. Zelie and Louis. It made me interested and inspired to learn more about their spiritual lives, God's unique workings in their lives and I felt another connection with the French language, as I was picking up French again. It was a difficult Fall season, but I felt sense of hope and confidence that just like St. Zelie receiving divine answers from Our Lady about her state in life and her work, I too would receive answers for my deep questioning about my path. 

As I drove in the early evening to adoration on the same road I did in the early sunrise, I could sense a different kind of beauty. The sky was a mysterious darkness that got more stark as I continued. I thought about the darkness in St. There's own life, her final days, years of feeling abandoned by God. She only experienced darkness, in a similar way to St. Mother Teresa (though M. Teresa for much longer). This darkness of the sky made me think of that, but how God's hand and providence was still at work. And now she is a saint. Her little way is something I want to continue to be reminded of and put into practice. Gratitude and surrender are her words to live by.