A Visit from Childhood Land

 It was the stir of the busyness. It came with laughter, stomping feet, soft and loud voices, and inquisitive eyes. The 5 days my nieces and nephews were here in some ways felt like a whirlwind - constant chatter, needs, eating, water usage of either toilet flushing, washing hands, taking a shower or needing another cup of water. But it was a sweet time, a joyful, giving time. 

The best part was getting to know them better and seeing their personalities shine through. It was the longest time we were with them without their parents, and I also felt seen. No longer in a busy, group setting with siblings, children, noise galore. I could be seen using 'Aunt Colleen' style. I've been an aunt many times over again and counting, but there are times when I'm part of the big family and seen as another aunt in the mix (isn't that how it is in a big family?)

And yes, I do have things going on. I'm not just living at home, and that's it. There is so much more, even though from the outside it doesn't seem like it. Perhaps that's the hardest narrative, even with growing nieces and nephews who are learning and understanding more. 

I felt I was able to embrace so much when they were here, anticipating and waiting for the news of their new sibling entering into the world. Seeing their home routine, help out in ways I could like bath and shower time, braiding hair, nighttime wake ups and reading books. There was a sense of giving, generosity, but more precisely sacrifice such as wanting to go on a run for some alone/rejuvenation time before it got dark. But instead, helping out my tired parents with bath time. 

 That small sacrifice was powerful, because I noticed I felt more joyful of doing the task at hand- helping my younger niece with her shower. The day quickly progressed into evening with no run, but it was something small enough I could offer up and recognize those little 'dying to self' married couples with kids talk about often. 

It was a sweet and joyful time. At times, the house felt like it was stretching at it seams, the floor and stairs were constantly being jumped or ran upon, and the walls soaked up their laughter and sibling dynamics. The joys of childhood.

getting better at my French braiding skills

Teeth

Waking up early, seeing the pink sunrise glowing near the trees, seeing the crescent moon faded shine and   driving this morning in the peaceful morning quiet. I took the same roads I used to drive all the time while driving from tutoring session to tutoring session. It brought back memories. Those days were special and very unique- creating my own freelance schedule and creativity and inspiration to rule my lessons. 

I passed by the hillsides and saw the turkeys grazing the grass- the morning still, the world not yet busy or fully awake. I passed by the senior center my sister and I checked out- not knowing it was but were on a walk and it had a nice scenery out front. That was summer of 2018, a very hot July afternoon, but we had each other to talk things through and support one another.

This time I was driving those roadways for a dentist appointment, an early morning appointment. A new dentist after a desperate change. I've had 3 dentists in about 3 years, so definitively looking for a consistent one. I was impressed with the service, the friendliness, professionalism- all the things I didn't feel or experience from last time. And sharing the history of my teeth- my implant story- definitively a story to remember, and some generalities. 

Our teeth are very important, essential- making us who we are. As the friendly and warm dental hygienist said, 'Our smile, and especially our front teeth are who we are'. I know what it feels like to have a smile- a tooth that makes you feel super self-conscious and not confident or feeling beautiful. The quote at the front desk read, 'The prettiest thing you can wear is a smile.' I believe that to be true.

A guy from a speed dating event told me that I have a nice smile. Luckily for that good and improved implant:)

From watching the documentary on Mother Teresa called 'No Greater Love', she was always smiling, joyful, radiant and beautiful. She was the epitome of love and joy. And such an inspiration she was, to so many. It makes me want to grow more in devotion to her and read some books about her again. 

I came across this photo recently from a couple of years ago with my dear sister. I used to really dislike the way I looked- and with that 'ugly tooth', I thought I looked awful. Only until more recently, maybe more recent years it didn't bother me to see how it used to look before my redo implant. I actually wasn't having negative thoughts like that anymore. 

And now, it's really just a funny story that I'm glad is over. 

beautiful spring flowers while on walk

Giving off Light

 Light. That's what resonated with me after Mass last week on the feast  of the Presentation (and receiving a blessed candle) and the St. Blaise. The priest saying a prayer with 2 candles crossed over each person's throat in tradition of the saint who is the patron against illnesses of the throat. 

Later that day, the teacher who was filling in for the last class put on a Harry Potter movie. I haven't watched those movies in a long time, so it brought back memories of my childhood. And I noticed the theme in that particular movie- light versus darkness, good versus evil. 

Those books/movies all deal with this strong focus in some way, but clearly when Harry is trying to ward off those dementors and how they suck out the happiness and joy in your life. The spell that he is taught and practices with his professor helps him muster up the courage and conviction to face this fear. Light from his wand is shutting out and blinding the darkness of these 'creatures'. 

How much more so in the spiritual life. What great reminders to keep aspiring and living up to- as the Gospel stated on Sunday, we are the salt and light for the world, administered and given to us by Jesus to bring this light, this salt to a world desperate in need of healing, spiritual healing and hope. Little by little, with awareness and practice like Harry did- to become stronger and more cognizant of the power within us, given to us by God. 

Impactful People

 A while ago, I was thinking of teachers, former coworkers who made an impact in my life- who created a spark of inspiration at that time. Who helped me in some way or another through learning, wisdom and inspiration. 

Mr. Nash 2012/2013

He was my one of my first college and English instructors. I took 3 of his English classes, one of them including creative writing. He made me more excited about English language and literature as I was delving into that major initially. I have fond memories of his classes and that time in my life. 

Nadiya Taylor 2018

I went back to my Junior College to get my ECD units, and she was the first professor I had. It was an inspiring time, and her passion, wisdom and strong teaching skills taught me a lot about the subject matter and field. She was and that first class were one of my favorites. It was an interesting time of discernment but I'm grateful for all that I learned, and what I gained from her knowledge and expertise. 

Fr. Lawrence 2018/2019

He was the most gentle, introverted, poised and understanding priest. I just happened to go to him for confession and felt so uplifted from his spiritual wisdom and quiet demeanor. He was a spiritual father and over time he became my 'unofficial' spiritual director/confessor. That was a trying time, a difficult time, but I was so graced and blessed with his presence and spiritual gifts.

Ms. Amelia 2019

She was full of life, laughter, and spunk. She wore bright colors on her clothes and her lipstick. Always a bright light and positive energy even when thing were drab, annoying, and more. Her love for her Spanish language and ideas and creativity with the children inspired me during those hard and long days at work. She was fun to talk with and kept me energized. 

Mojdeh 2019

Another bright light. I felt comforted and understood by her. So blessed to know exactly how I felt and was feeling during those trying months at work. Her presence made it better, and lamenting to her felt like a sister. A connection no need to explain. I couldn't have survived without her. 

Ms. Straface 2019

I didn't get too close too close to her, but I have always associated her with my first school year working at the high school. Our demeanors were similar, but we talked sometimes and I could resonate with her energy. She had a very busy schedule that year- teaching, classes for her masters, engagement.. but sharing a classroom with her was nice and pleasant. And I was adjusting to this new job that felt effortless and like an answer to prayer. 

Ms. K 2019-Present

Worked alongside as the same position my first year at the high school. Approachable, friendly, nice demeanor. Reliable, and nice to have her presence around. Can connect about different things- our faith being one of them. 

Mrs. Johnson SJSU MLIS 2021

One of my best and favorite teachers from my Masters program. A nice, friendly demeanor, approachable, and cohesive in lecture and assignments. Very inspiring to learn from her about an interesting/difficult topic in library science field. I loved her passion.