I don't feel that it is ironic that the same month my dear, sweet nephew and God son was born in the month of the sacred heart of Jesus. Praying the litany to this devotion tonight was so beautiful. Reflecting upon the goodness, sweetness, peacefulness and abyss of all virtues from His heart made me think of my newest nephew and God son's dear heart. It has already gone through its own trials, and pain and I know my dear sister and brother-in-law have experienced the same anguish, and deep suffering and are witnesses to it.
Jesus' heart has wounds, and in the sacred heart image it depicts these wounds with the crown of thorns- the same thorns which pierced his forehead and surrounded pain with bloodshed. His heart knows how to love because it has tasted the bitterness of sorrow, pain, and death.
When we are wounded exteriorly there is a pain, yet we can be healed through stitches or another form of healing and receive reassurance and solace in the suffering and hurt, and can see the physical wound and pain slowly leave. The wounds that are internal, and perhaps deeper take upon a different form, and one that isn't necessarily visible, or tangible. It's usually a more unique pain, and suffering that has its own timeline for relief, solace, and healing.
Stitches that go in one's knee or a relief from another outside wound has its own story to tell that can even sometimes leave a mark that's visible, and one that won't necessarily go away. However, the sorrow and suffering of an interior wound tells another story, and the healing process follows its own accord and journey.
My dear sister received stitches after her C-section to her sweet and beautiful son who was born on my birthday! I've only heard about the process and procedure and the journey of physical pain, soreness and the process of recovering and healing from this surgery. My mom underwent her 1st C-section with me and has told me a couple times how deathly afraid she was of the surgery, of the thought, and I manged to be born 3 weeks early in the early morning hours with a jaundice coloring. This dearest God son was born a little early also, and born in the middle of the morning. There was so much anticipation, preparation, excitement, joy, and waiting for this little one to finally come and make his appearance.
This sweet little one was born on my birthday, and I feel that birthdays are a time of renewal and another wonderful opportunity for new beginnings, a new year ahead, a new journey. God is continuing to stitch my story, write my story.
Every day has it's own stitches. And sometimes you feel like you dropped some and need to restitch and make up for the day before. It reminds me of knitting and with every stitch makes progress. Currently I am knitting a blanket for this sweet little one and I sincerely hope it can be a gift. If not to use right away, to remember, and to hold. It's a dark green and the color reminded me of the statue at the St. Raphael mission that I visited in December. He's a powerful saint and intercessor, and it's also the middle name of this precious and new little life.
Stitches are also a way of putting things back together, a form, and process of healing and recovery. Every time we go to the Sacrament of Reconciliation, God is putting back the pieces to our heart, our soul and the gift of his most precious blood heals all our internal wounds, our sin, our weakness.
On my birthday, I wore the shoes that needed repairing. Though not stitches, it needed glue, to be put back together and to be useful again. I didn't wear them for too long- just at the end of the day and celebration, but it reminded me of a bigger message about being put back together again, healed, renewed. The cute wedged shoes just point to something greater, deeper, and more beautiful.
I couldn't help but remember a beautiful excerpt from Venerable Fulton J Sheen's interesting and insightful autobiography. And I will write it here.
I can remember when, after four months in the hospital, I began to recover; I was reading Mass on an altar constructed over the bed before a few priests and friends. I spontaneously gave a sermon, which I remember so well. I said that I was glad that I had open-heart surgery because when the Lord comes to take us all, He will look to see if we have any marks of the Cross upon ourselves. He will look at our hands to see of the are crucified from sacrificial giving; He will look at our feet to see if they have been thorn-bruised and nail-pierced searching for lost sheep; He will look at our heart to see if that has been opened to receive His Divine Heart. Oh what joy is mine just to have endured the minuscule imitation of His suffering on the Cross by having a wounded side. Maybe He will recognize me from that scar and receive me into His kingdom.
With today being the feast of Sts. Peter and Paul, may their examples continue to lead and inspire us. And may this new little son of God and precious life, the treasure of my sister and brother-in-law's hearts, and the spiritual abode of mine these past nine months be protected, guided by God, and may we continue to trust in His Heart and plan.
Monday, June 29, 2020
Monday, June 22, 2020
A New Appreciation
Today was the first daily Mass since March. It felt surreal, almost like walking into the past but with a shed of light on the future since no one wore face masks 3 plus months ago. The pastor was so welcoming and friendly, it was encouraging and uplifting. The lights were on in the church and it was inspiring. For many weeks on end this church had been dim or nearly dark, silent, yet peaceful and serene.
There were some really hard days and weeks for me these past 3 months, and the highlight of my day was driving to this church, and getting out of the house. It felt like the walls were caving in and I needed to do something about it. Taking a drive, seeing new scenery and reflecting on past memories along the roads was helpful, but the solitude and reassuring peace inside the church was what I really needed. To sit, kneel and be in the presence of our Lord.
I started to miss the busyness of my schedule, and the days when my mind was actively stimulated and distracted on the students and the world of school around me. I liked the openness of the schedule surrounding me but some days it felt like I would be drowning and it flooded the depths around me. The reassuring part was that I knew I wasn't the only one going through these challenging times, and I only wish things could be like they used to with libraries and cafes open, Masses starting up again and having family, friends and social events back to normal. I wouldn't mind the openness then, but God was teaching me and all of us a lesson in the process, and still is!
There is strength and grace in the waiting, unknown and mundane. When every day can feel the same or blend into one there's a challenge to make things light and fun. There's a challenge to get innovative and creative again and try to forget about all of the bigger questions. However, there has been so much growth in this waiting process, internal, spiritual, mental, emotional and letting go of what I want and how things should look. Letting go of thinking that we are in control of what should happen next in this whole process.
I'm looking forward to Masses returning to a new normal and living out our faith and spirituality in this beautiful and important way. March 15 was the last Mass I attended right before the shut down and shelter in place. It was a melancholic day, a reflective day. It was eerily the 'Ides of March' as Shakespeare says and it felt like the start of everything. I was emotional and sad that a wonderful priest was being transferred soon amidst all the unknown and changes ahead. He was a comforting presence, a spiritual Father and the comfort of it all was being taken from the rug beneath me and I missed his gentle, soft spoken yet strong leadership qualities.
It was the last time going to a Starbucks with my sweet sister and soaking up the unknown with a warm drink, Arabic notes and books stacked, and a notebook and a pen to write with. People in the cafe didn't know what to anticipate either and it felt like something was right around the corner, a blind corner that no one could see or fully anticipate but still trying to enjoy the moment. I wouldn't see my school, co workers or students again, hear their voices or talk with them, laugh with them or congratulate them. I wouldn't open the classroom up again to see all the various faces and brimming personalities about to bubble over, or hear their smart jokes or wise teenager ways. I didn't know I would miss it so much, and see all the growth it gave me then and now.
I remember a couple summers ago, my dear sister and I went to a daily Mass together, and she had an interesting point that I remembered today. She said to pretend like its your last Mass you will attend, dress well and be reverent, focused since you never know when it will be. I couldn't think of how relevant that was looking back. I feel like its a point for reflection to not take it for granted, and going back to that same church brought me back to remember to not take it for granted, and to be joyful, hopeful, and grateful; It's time to be, and the waiting is nearly over.
There were some really hard days and weeks for me these past 3 months, and the highlight of my day was driving to this church, and getting out of the house. It felt like the walls were caving in and I needed to do something about it. Taking a drive, seeing new scenery and reflecting on past memories along the roads was helpful, but the solitude and reassuring peace inside the church was what I really needed. To sit, kneel and be in the presence of our Lord.
I started to miss the busyness of my schedule, and the days when my mind was actively stimulated and distracted on the students and the world of school around me. I liked the openness of the schedule surrounding me but some days it felt like I would be drowning and it flooded the depths around me. The reassuring part was that I knew I wasn't the only one going through these challenging times, and I only wish things could be like they used to with libraries and cafes open, Masses starting up again and having family, friends and social events back to normal. I wouldn't mind the openness then, but God was teaching me and all of us a lesson in the process, and still is!
There is strength and grace in the waiting, unknown and mundane. When every day can feel the same or blend into one there's a challenge to make things light and fun. There's a challenge to get innovative and creative again and try to forget about all of the bigger questions. However, there has been so much growth in this waiting process, internal, spiritual, mental, emotional and letting go of what I want and how things should look. Letting go of thinking that we are in control of what should happen next in this whole process.
I'm looking forward to Masses returning to a new normal and living out our faith and spirituality in this beautiful and important way. March 15 was the last Mass I attended right before the shut down and shelter in place. It was a melancholic day, a reflective day. It was eerily the 'Ides of March' as Shakespeare says and it felt like the start of everything. I was emotional and sad that a wonderful priest was being transferred soon amidst all the unknown and changes ahead. He was a comforting presence, a spiritual Father and the comfort of it all was being taken from the rug beneath me and I missed his gentle, soft spoken yet strong leadership qualities.
It was the last time going to a Starbucks with my sweet sister and soaking up the unknown with a warm drink, Arabic notes and books stacked, and a notebook and a pen to write with. People in the cafe didn't know what to anticipate either and it felt like something was right around the corner, a blind corner that no one could see or fully anticipate but still trying to enjoy the moment. I wouldn't see my school, co workers or students again, hear their voices or talk with them, laugh with them or congratulate them. I wouldn't open the classroom up again to see all the various faces and brimming personalities about to bubble over, or hear their smart jokes or wise teenager ways. I didn't know I would miss it so much, and see all the growth it gave me then and now.
I remember a couple summers ago, my dear sister and I went to a daily Mass together, and she had an interesting point that I remembered today. She said to pretend like its your last Mass you will attend, dress well and be reverent, focused since you never know when it will be. I couldn't think of how relevant that was looking back. I feel like its a point for reflection to not take it for granted, and going back to that same church brought me back to remember to not take it for granted, and to be joyful, hopeful, and grateful; It's time to be, and the waiting is nearly over.
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| Rainy day, early April |
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| Love these trees when they bloom! |
Friday, June 19, 2020
A Sacred Freedom
Freedom. It's a word that I or others don't think about too often but one that has struck me most recently. A year ago around this time I left my former job. It was a toxic and unhealthy environment that burdened me with a large weight. Once I left with good terms and for the most part friendly faces sending good lucks and tight hugs, it all came crashing like a ton a bricks, the ones that I built on my shoulders for weeks and weeks, and finally could relax, enjoy the start of summer, the cool air to my breath while running and reflect on all that had happened. It felt so good to leave, to be alive that I couldn't fully express it in words.
We have all experienced our own share of trials, sufferings and limits to freedom during these 3 months of isolation from others, our favorite places and excursions, regular plans and even praying and worshiping in our own churches. With the regulated access to the sacraments there's been a greater appreciation for our faith and ways that we can still practice. But nonetheless, even if Masses slowly reopening with tight rules and regulations, it on't be perfect but its necessary. Even when our freedom due to this virus has limited in what we can do, I need to continue to remind myself it won't take away my faith and believe in God and His plans, and how I think about things in a positive light.
There's so much sacred in the month of June, as John Mayer says in one of his songs. It's nearly almost summer and with every passing bright, hot day and cool, lush, peaceful evening there's hope for something more. Not only with things to slowly return to a new normal, but trusting not in our ways and plans, but God's. Even if I don't feel like I have the full freedom to keep running and running in the dusk and beauty of a crisp evening, there's ways I can embrace this cross, small suffering and hold on to the freedom that Christ gives.
Today is the feast of the Sacred Heart of Jesus. It's a beautiful and very special feast day, and it crept upon me almost without notice. I love that June is dedicated to His Sacred Heart, as it's my birthday month and the start of a lovely season, with many more beautiful months ahead! There is freedom, peace, joy, hope in His heart and in His graces, if we trust. It gives me that reassurance during these crazy times of pandemic, and busy, tiring yet joyful ones too with a toddler nephew here.
I'm looking towards St. Anthony of Padua whose feast day was last week, and is known for holding and being close to the Child Jesus, and also known for great miracles. May he help us with this little one and the joy, demands and love that my nephew needs from us during this time. Happy June, happy summer! With the heat of the days and cool mornings and evenings, and with a bigger heart to go around.
We have all experienced our own share of trials, sufferings and limits to freedom during these 3 months of isolation from others, our favorite places and excursions, regular plans and even praying and worshiping in our own churches. With the regulated access to the sacraments there's been a greater appreciation for our faith and ways that we can still practice. But nonetheless, even if Masses slowly reopening with tight rules and regulations, it on't be perfect but its necessary. Even when our freedom due to this virus has limited in what we can do, I need to continue to remind myself it won't take away my faith and believe in God and His plans, and how I think about things in a positive light.
There's so much sacred in the month of June, as John Mayer says in one of his songs. It's nearly almost summer and with every passing bright, hot day and cool, lush, peaceful evening there's hope for something more. Not only with things to slowly return to a new normal, but trusting not in our ways and plans, but God's. Even if I don't feel like I have the full freedom to keep running and running in the dusk and beauty of a crisp evening, there's ways I can embrace this cross, small suffering and hold on to the freedom that Christ gives.
Today is the feast of the Sacred Heart of Jesus. It's a beautiful and very special feast day, and it crept upon me almost without notice. I love that June is dedicated to His Sacred Heart, as it's my birthday month and the start of a lovely season, with many more beautiful months ahead! There is freedom, peace, joy, hope in His heart and in His graces, if we trust. It gives me that reassurance during these crazy times of pandemic, and busy, tiring yet joyful ones too with a toddler nephew here.
I'm looking towards St. Anthony of Padua whose feast day was last week, and is known for holding and being close to the Child Jesus, and also known for great miracles. May he help us with this little one and the joy, demands and love that my nephew needs from us during this time. Happy June, happy summer! With the heat of the days and cool mornings and evenings, and with a bigger heart to go around.
Monday, June 1, 2020
Gifts From the Spirit
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| Card from my sister, to ensure peace:) |
With the feast of Pentecost comes other things that seem to relate well with all that's been going on for me. It's such a special and beautiful feast, to close out the Easter season and enter into Ordinary time. This Easter season has been such a different one, unlike any before with churches and Masses closed and this Paschal feast celebrated from home. And this upcoming Ordinary time will be anything but 'ordinary' with all the changes and unique experiences ahead.
As I was reflecting upon the feast of Pentecost, I couldn't help but think about the similarities, the ties that seemed to bond what this feast is about and what Mary and the apostles experienced on that blessed day, the birthday of our church. It was a day exuded with peace, unity and a deep trust in God's presence, the gift of the Holy Spirit. Upon Confirmation, we receive the special graces and gifts from the Holy Spirit to lead us, and guide us on our faith journey.
With the end of the Easter season comes also the end of the school year. And what a school year it has been!! I came back to my school workplace with an empty and vastly eerie feel to the silent and bare campus that was once before crowded, vibrant with noise, students and activity. I opened my classroom, locked doors they have been for weeks on end, and I was suddenly flooded with memories, memories of students, classwork, Math and English lessons, conversations and an abounding peace and enjoyment through it all.
The doors were also locked when Jesus came in and stood in their midst and brought them the gift of His peace, and their hearts were aflame with love, joy, trust and peace. On the feast of Pentecost, the Holy Spirit comes to set a fire to their hearts, their minds and a deep wisdom and understanding of this spirit; tongues of fire and a sense if unity with various languages spoken and coming together as one faith, one church.
Yesterday would also be the feast of the Visitation, when Mary visited her cousin Elizabeth who was pregnant with John the Baptist. This summer we will be taking care of my dear nephew, Santiago and with all of it will come generosity, service, sacrifice, love and joy. Mary experienced this too with the travels to see her cousin and extend herself. Elizabeth was touched by Mary's generosity but also the gift of Jesus in her womb.
With still a sense of uncertainty up ahead and a busy, fun, eventful summer here, I want to entrust these intentions, and thoughts to the peace and confidence of the Holy Spirit to guide, lead and pour out upon us the graces and gifts needed.
Tuesday, May 19, 2020
A Tender Love
"One must arrange one's life, so that everything praises God." These enriching words were said by Saint Pope John Paul II. He said many encouraging, beautiful and insightful words that sprung from a deep place of hope, peace and spiritual strength. Reflecting upon him and his papal legacy, as yesterday was his feast of his 100th birthday, I came to realize how profound, significant and influential he was, to those who met him in person and to those who didn't.
I realized even more so his impact and the strong and tender following he had around the world when my mom showed me the news clippings she had saved from the announcement of his death, April 2nd, 2005. I saw and read the articles written about him as pope, as a devout and loving man. I could see the deep sadness and loss on the people's faces, silent tears streaming down their faces that showed their mourning and heartache of a dear friend gone from this earth, a great leader, confidant, and a beloved and God fearing man. It became more real to me, as I was only in the 6th grade when he passed, and didn't comprehend all of his influence among the Roman Catholic realm, but also all around the world.
Contemplating this great saint, pope, priest, man, and follower of Jesus on his 100th anniversary of birth, I also came to find he has had an impact on me in various ways, like so many others could attest to in their profound experiences meeting him face to face or somewhere from a distance, or like me, who never had the gift of meeting him in person. However, his writings, words spoken, example, cheerful smile, humble demeanor, and profound wisdom and courage in the faith are what draw me to this Polish man, this first Polish pope.
A few of my siblings had the privilege of meeting Pope John Paul II at World Youth Day in the early 2000's. And most of my siblings have been able to attend these World Youth Days in different countries and with another Pope, Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI, but I'm sure the feeling, the experience, the excitement was all the same since it was Pope John Paul II who initially started these World Youth Days for young people of faith all around the world to come together.
A World Youth Day that I was thinking of attending was about 5 years ago in the city where Pope JPII grew up, Krakow, Poland and it would involve a lot of historic sites around the area, not to mention being in Poland and in the cities where back then Karol Wojtyla grew up. It wasn't meant to be for me, as other travel experiences and expenses came the following year for my study abroad experience and my sister's wedding abroad, but I have yet to attend and value the pilgrimage experience of a World Youth Day.
Reading about some of my favorite saints, I come across their canonizations done by JPII, and I realize how much impact he has had on our Catholic faith, not solely with beautifying and canonizing saints in the Church, but also his writings such as 'Love and Responsibility' and his teachings on the Theology of the Body to name a few. I am honored to have studied more of the Theology of the Body and do course series with my mom and sister a couple of years ago. I am very fond of this beautiful teaching full of truth and freedom, one that our world is in desperate need of.
About a year ago, I read a great and interesting read about St. Pope John Paul II written by Jason Evert. It was about and called JP II's 5 loves, and I would recommend it as a great source to his heart, his mission and his life. It's not so much a biography, but Evert does a lovely job in detailing some of Pope John Paul's personal life even before he became a priest or a great pope. I remember well that my dear sister read this book before me and recommend this book, and gave some of the examples that perhaps I could relate with, his sufferings and particularly his deep loneliness after the sudden loss of his dad that made him orphan at only the age of 21. This gave me great courage and strength in learning more about him and his trials and sufferings that God had bestowed and entrusted him with.
I was greatly inspired by Saint Pope John Paul II and the book about his 5 loves. It was what I needed to read, and to administer in my thoughts and in my life especially during the challenging time I was going through then. I wrote down some quotes from the book in a notebook of mine and would bring this notebook to work with me and read through the quotes again when there was down time at my job, and I would feel encouraged and inspired. Here is an excerpt from the book, "There is no question that John Paul had an extraordinary work ethic. He worked between 16 and 20 hours per day, an found television and radio to be a waste of time. If he wasn't praying or studying, he had the feeling he was wasting his time."
Pope John Paul II is well known for his first address speech in 1978 in saying "Be Not Afraid! Open wide the doors of Christ", as this is a very common phrase in the Gospels but we still need to hear it, and knowing and understanding more of his life, I'm sure there were many fears as well with Communism, and WWII to name a few. And his famous words of hope and joy pertaining to Easter the season, "We are an Easter people and Alleluia is our song."
Going back to the newspaper clipping that was saved and reading through some of the articles written, I came to learn that he was the most well traveled Pope in that he visited the most countries during his papacy, and he was fluent or at least conversational in many languages. Being a person who is intrigued and interested in other cultures and languages, this moved med with a deeper sense of connection with him. It showed how open minded he was, passionate and talented not just linguistically but sharing the good news of the Gospel.
Though I'm not studying the language now, last May I picked up some Polish. It was a side inspiration for a short while and have been interested in Slavic languages for some time. My dear sister would send me pictures of red poppies on her walks with Santiago, as its the national flower of Poland. And I found a lovely picture of a red poppy while thrift shopping right before my birthday and have it hanging on my wall.
There are so many influences and things to say about this beautiful person, a man of deep faith and conviction and a leader who has inspired us all with his joy, hope, and lasting impact. Whenever he is seen in prayer, he is in deep conversation with God. In so many ways, he has become an example to us all, how to live, how to pray and how to love. May he intercede for us, our needs and intentions.
I will end with a prayer from him to Our Lady, bestowing his love and devotion to her, entitled 'Totus Tuus':
Immaculate Conception, Mary my Mother, Live in me, Act in me, speak in me and through me, think your thoughts in my mind, Love through my heart, Give me your dispositions and feelings, Teach, lead me and guide me Jesus, correct, enlighten and expand my thoughts and behavior, possess my soul, Take over my entire personality and life, replace it with yourself, Incline me to constant adoration, pray in me and through me, Let me live in you and keep me in this union always. Amen
I realized even more so his impact and the strong and tender following he had around the world when my mom showed me the news clippings she had saved from the announcement of his death, April 2nd, 2005. I saw and read the articles written about him as pope, as a devout and loving man. I could see the deep sadness and loss on the people's faces, silent tears streaming down their faces that showed their mourning and heartache of a dear friend gone from this earth, a great leader, confidant, and a beloved and God fearing man. It became more real to me, as I was only in the 6th grade when he passed, and didn't comprehend all of his influence among the Roman Catholic realm, but also all around the world.
Contemplating this great saint, pope, priest, man, and follower of Jesus on his 100th anniversary of birth, I also came to find he has had an impact on me in various ways, like so many others could attest to in their profound experiences meeting him face to face or somewhere from a distance, or like me, who never had the gift of meeting him in person. However, his writings, words spoken, example, cheerful smile, humble demeanor, and profound wisdom and courage in the faith are what draw me to this Polish man, this first Polish pope.
A few of my siblings had the privilege of meeting Pope John Paul II at World Youth Day in the early 2000's. And most of my siblings have been able to attend these World Youth Days in different countries and with another Pope, Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI, but I'm sure the feeling, the experience, the excitement was all the same since it was Pope John Paul II who initially started these World Youth Days for young people of faith all around the world to come together.
A World Youth Day that I was thinking of attending was about 5 years ago in the city where Pope JPII grew up, Krakow, Poland and it would involve a lot of historic sites around the area, not to mention being in Poland and in the cities where back then Karol Wojtyla grew up. It wasn't meant to be for me, as other travel experiences and expenses came the following year for my study abroad experience and my sister's wedding abroad, but I have yet to attend and value the pilgrimage experience of a World Youth Day.
Reading about some of my favorite saints, I come across their canonizations done by JPII, and I realize how much impact he has had on our Catholic faith, not solely with beautifying and canonizing saints in the Church, but also his writings such as 'Love and Responsibility' and his teachings on the Theology of the Body to name a few. I am honored to have studied more of the Theology of the Body and do course series with my mom and sister a couple of years ago. I am very fond of this beautiful teaching full of truth and freedom, one that our world is in desperate need of.
About a year ago, I read a great and interesting read about St. Pope John Paul II written by Jason Evert. It was about and called JP II's 5 loves, and I would recommend it as a great source to his heart, his mission and his life. It's not so much a biography, but Evert does a lovely job in detailing some of Pope John Paul's personal life even before he became a priest or a great pope. I remember well that my dear sister read this book before me and recommend this book, and gave some of the examples that perhaps I could relate with, his sufferings and particularly his deep loneliness after the sudden loss of his dad that made him orphan at only the age of 21. This gave me great courage and strength in learning more about him and his trials and sufferings that God had bestowed and entrusted him with.
I was greatly inspired by Saint Pope John Paul II and the book about his 5 loves. It was what I needed to read, and to administer in my thoughts and in my life especially during the challenging time I was going through then. I wrote down some quotes from the book in a notebook of mine and would bring this notebook to work with me and read through the quotes again when there was down time at my job, and I would feel encouraged and inspired. Here is an excerpt from the book, "There is no question that John Paul had an extraordinary work ethic. He worked between 16 and 20 hours per day, an found television and radio to be a waste of time. If he wasn't praying or studying, he had the feeling he was wasting his time."
Pope John Paul II is well known for his first address speech in 1978 in saying "Be Not Afraid! Open wide the doors of Christ", as this is a very common phrase in the Gospels but we still need to hear it, and knowing and understanding more of his life, I'm sure there were many fears as well with Communism, and WWII to name a few. And his famous words of hope and joy pertaining to Easter the season, "We are an Easter people and Alleluia is our song."
Going back to the newspaper clipping that was saved and reading through some of the articles written, I came to learn that he was the most well traveled Pope in that he visited the most countries during his papacy, and he was fluent or at least conversational in many languages. Being a person who is intrigued and interested in other cultures and languages, this moved med with a deeper sense of connection with him. It showed how open minded he was, passionate and talented not just linguistically but sharing the good news of the Gospel.
Though I'm not studying the language now, last May I picked up some Polish. It was a side inspiration for a short while and have been interested in Slavic languages for some time. My dear sister would send me pictures of red poppies on her walks with Santiago, as its the national flower of Poland. And I found a lovely picture of a red poppy while thrift shopping right before my birthday and have it hanging on my wall.
There are so many influences and things to say about this beautiful person, a man of deep faith and conviction and a leader who has inspired us all with his joy, hope, and lasting impact. Whenever he is seen in prayer, he is in deep conversation with God. In so many ways, he has become an example to us all, how to live, how to pray and how to love. May he intercede for us, our needs and intentions.
Immaculate Conception, Mary my Mother, Live in me, Act in me, speak in me and through me, think your thoughts in my mind, Love through my heart, Give me your dispositions and feelings, Teach, lead me and guide me Jesus, correct, enlighten and expand my thoughts and behavior, possess my soul, Take over my entire personality and life, replace it with yourself, Incline me to constant adoration, pray in me and through me, Let me live in you and keep me in this union always. Amen
Thursday, May 7, 2020
The Role of Mary
May is a special month. It speaks of spring but showcases the glory of summer in the late afternoon, the blooming of roses and flowers and the love birds chatting throughout the day and night. May is Mary's month, the month of the Holy Rosary and the month for Mother's Day. Mary, Mothers, flowers, they go well together.
It's the little things sometimes that can make all the difference and now in this time we are in, it's even more true and is put to the test. Last May and this May look really different but at the same time, a little similar. Last May felt hard core and super intense. The beauty of spring was intensifying, as well as my heart was burning with all of the annoyances, daily crosses and unknowns that came from my job and the demands it had. It was rough, but it makes me more confident and proud in God's grace that He was there with me through it all, in guiding and providing my needs.
It was the image of Our Lady of Guadalupe from the local church that also got me through, as my prayers became more intensified and personal. It was the tender and comforting ear of my dear sister listening to my complaints and heartache of these sufferings when we me up on warm and sunny Sunday afternoon at a Starbucks. Her gift was also tangible for Teacher Appreciation Week, and on the gift bag she had an image of Our Lady of Guadalupe with her words to Juan Diego, "Am I not here, who am your Mother?" My sister's gift lifted my spirits, and seeing these comforting words inspired me to trust more.
May was a trying month, a testing month but the beauty of the roses and other blooming flowers, radiant sunsets, daily masses and communions, quality time with my sisters, Santiago, going to cafe Roma and sipping cappuccino, designing my own t-shirts with craft paint, and helping my sister and brother-in-law move in to their new home were all ways of God showing His love, protection, and presence.
Remembering these memories helps with this May. This shelter in place and Pandemic has become harder and harder for everyone, and patience has become even more of a forefront virtue. It's about being creative, innovative and seeing everyday as a blessing, a gift. My schedule looks completely different than it did last May, the hardships and the daily grind were different too. The local parish church is the same, the same God, the same image of Our Lady of Guadalupe, but a different cross in my life. A different trust, a shifted hope, but greater confidence that God uses everything to make something great and new. It's up to me to have that patience in God's timing.
The quote for today from my 365 flip book is "You can always trust God's heart even when you can't trust His hand." And the quote from V. Fulton Sheen that I love that was also on that gift bag from my my sister is, "Patience is power. Patience is not an absence of action; rather it is timing it waits in the right time to act, for the right principles and in the right way."
May this may be full of confidence and love for Our Lady as she continues to guide us on this journey. Her beauty, peace, joy, humility, and comfort are real.
It's the little things sometimes that can make all the difference and now in this time we are in, it's even more true and is put to the test. Last May and this May look really different but at the same time, a little similar. Last May felt hard core and super intense. The beauty of spring was intensifying, as well as my heart was burning with all of the annoyances, daily crosses and unknowns that came from my job and the demands it had. It was rough, but it makes me more confident and proud in God's grace that He was there with me through it all, in guiding and providing my needs.
It was the image of Our Lady of Guadalupe from the local church that also got me through, as my prayers became more intensified and personal. It was the tender and comforting ear of my dear sister listening to my complaints and heartache of these sufferings when we me up on warm and sunny Sunday afternoon at a Starbucks. Her gift was also tangible for Teacher Appreciation Week, and on the gift bag she had an image of Our Lady of Guadalupe with her words to Juan Diego, "Am I not here, who am your Mother?" My sister's gift lifted my spirits, and seeing these comforting words inspired me to trust more.
May was a trying month, a testing month but the beauty of the roses and other blooming flowers, radiant sunsets, daily masses and communions, quality time with my sisters, Santiago, going to cafe Roma and sipping cappuccino, designing my own t-shirts with craft paint, and helping my sister and brother-in-law move in to their new home were all ways of God showing His love, protection, and presence.
Remembering these memories helps with this May. This shelter in place and Pandemic has become harder and harder for everyone, and patience has become even more of a forefront virtue. It's about being creative, innovative and seeing everyday as a blessing, a gift. My schedule looks completely different than it did last May, the hardships and the daily grind were different too. The local parish church is the same, the same God, the same image of Our Lady of Guadalupe, but a different cross in my life. A different trust, a shifted hope, but greater confidence that God uses everything to make something great and new. It's up to me to have that patience in God's timing.
The quote for today from my 365 flip book is "You can always trust God's heart even when you can't trust His hand." And the quote from V. Fulton Sheen that I love that was also on that gift bag from my my sister is, "Patience is power. Patience is not an absence of action; rather it is timing it waits in the right time to act, for the right principles and in the right way."
May this may be full of confidence and love for Our Lady as she continues to guide us on this journey. Her beauty, peace, joy, humility, and comfort are real.
Friday, April 24, 2020
Reviewing Goals
I was recently looking through one of my notebooks. It's a notebook that's not really a notebook, but for lists and ideas rather and I enjoy looking through it and adding to it every once in a while. I came across the first list, 'List your goals and dreams for this year'. I saw that I wrote some goals for last year and this year.
2019
-get a full time job at a preschool
-speak in Chinese
-keep learning Arabic
-make a new contact, friend
-continue blogging!
-paint!
-knit
read inspiring books
-try out a hiking group
I reflected upon this list and realized that nearly all of it if not all came true. I remember writing and brainstorming this list at a coffee shop with my dear sister in late January last year. It was a rocky month and start to the year and wanted to regain some compusore and inspiration. I desprately needed and desired a job, a full time one since nothing was landing or it was only part-time and wanted to put my credits and education to use. I eventually did, and I learned a lot. It was quite a roller coaster of a ride throughout.
Chinese has been on the back burner for a while. As our interests change, its normal to not be so immersed or invested in past endevours. I made a few videos for myself of speaking and teaching Chinese early in the year. Also, in my job woeking with young children I spoke some Chinese to two Chinese boys and I felt proud to say some words and phrases again, even just simple. One of the classes that I was in in the Fall at the High School was a Mandarin class and I was there for a student who needed accomadations. I was mostly there listening and relearning the material, but it brought back memories of my interest anbd passion with the language.
Arabic on the other hand, is a language that I am currently still invested in and want to progress in. Language videos were a side thing for a while and helped me keep up my learning and inspiration with the language, culture and other related topics. I took a break for a while for most of last year learning, but I am back revamping my knowlegdge and dusting off language books and notes.
I wouldn't have thought making a new friend would happen, though it was a desire for a long time. I am still pleasantly surprised with the way it happened. I am very grateful for this friend and proud to say she is dating my younger brother:) We initially met in spring 2018, but didn't officially hit it off with more personal time until last summer. I'm grateful for a friend, especially during this unique time.
I have continued blogging, with my 2 blogs and making more time for writing and relfection.
Painting and water color is a new hobby for me. After taking a class at Joann's, I was eager to start experimenting and creating. I painted for my friend for a Christmas gift, and painted a card for my sister's wedding anniversary. I hope to create more and paint especially during this time.
Knitting has been a hobby that comes around every once in a while. I knitted a green blanket for my dear nephew and glad to see him with it on walks for warmth:) I plan to knit another blanket for his younger brother soon to be born this summer.
There were a number of books that I read last year, and they kept me afloat and inspired throughout the downs and lows during the year.
Try out a hiking group. My sister and I finally made the time to try out a hiking group, and it was a good challenge to meet new people and do something different towards the end of summer.
2020
Some goals I have in mind are learn Hebrew! I started learning Hebrew back in late summer but may continue with it along with Arabic, (and Russian!)
With testing centers closed for now, I had a written goal of studying for the Math CBEST. With all of this open time, I may consider starting on that.
I have been cooking from my recipe binder and marking the recipes I have cooked and made so far. There are a number I have coked ths far, but still many I have not yet tried!
Creating own stationary has been a goal and idea of mine for a while, and making and designing my own stationary is such a rewardinjg expereince and a gift to others. I designed a card for my sweet niece.
And reading 60 books. This is my highest reading goal, but wth enough books to go around and plenty of spare time, I think it is possible:)
Saturday, April 18, 2020
Be Not Afraid!
As we finish out this first week of Easter and continue to celebrate the Easter season, there have been some reflections that I have pondered and prayed about. The main messages and theme for this weeks readings in the Gospels reveals the disciples inner turmoil, confusion and fear with all that has happened in the last days after Jesus' passion and death. They too fear their own deaths, and fear of the Jews, as well as grappling with Jesus' death and what it means for him to rise again.
'Be not afraid!' These are the words that are repeated many times in the Gospels, and not just particularly with Easter when Jesus tells his own disciples to be not afraid. These words also show up when the angel Gabriel tells Our Lady to be not afraid at the Annunciation, as well as at the time of Jesus' birth for the shepherds and onlookers. These words are written and said throughout the liturgical seasons, and God is also telling us in our own lives to be not afraid. Even the first words of Pope John Paul II from when he became pope were these same words, to give us comfort, hope, and deep and reassuring trust.
We all have our fears, doubts, worries, anxieties. And I believe everyone has very similar ones at this particular time in our history, pertaining to the corona virus pandemic. This past week has been difficult for me personally. I am starting to feel more of the weight of not working, not being able to say goodbye and end the school year with my students, and of not being able to be of service at work like I have for the past wonderful 6 months. I also don't know what the future will hold, and have my own doubts and worries what the future will look like with this pandemic still here or not.
I have had my share of anxieties and fear this past week as well, struggling with sleep. The most joyous, beautiful, and hopeful time of the year with Easter has become one of fear for me as I wrestle with light and interrupted sleep and feelings of anxiety and trying not to overthink or let my mind wander too far. When this happens, I go back to Jesus saying, 'Be not afraid' to his disciples, and to me personally. I think about Him in the tabernacle alone at night and being present to Him in my heart and mind when I feel lonely and afraid.
I like to reflect upon the Magnificat Reflection from a few days ago:
You have made known to me the paths of life; you will fill me joy in your presence. And this pattern continues for us. Jesus met them on their way. That is, our Savior comes to us amidst the every day challenges and circumstances of our lives. Mary Magdalene and the other Mary embraced his wounded feet. They hear those wonderful words: 'Do not be afraid.'
Jesus shows his disciples that He is Risen, and they do not have to let their hearts be troubled (Jn 14:27) or be afraid. Even within their fear, Jesus comes in their midst and gives them (and us) peace. I need to keep reminding myself with great confidence that Jesus is always there! We do not need to be afraid with what we are experiencing now as a community. state, country, world, and in my own needs, yet instead to trust and believe like He desired us to. He comes into our lives just like he did on the road of Emmaus and guiding us on our journeys, and like he did when he lead his disciples to a miraculous catch of 153 fish and being present in their lives, so too with us.
One of the books I am reading is called the 7 secrets of Divine Mercy, and is relevant as tomorrow is Divine Mercy Sunday. I have this image in my room of the sacred heart of Jesus with the words, Jesus, I trust in you. May I continue to learn to trust in his mercy, healing and intimate and loving presence in my life. Happy Easter!
'Be not afraid!' These are the words that are repeated many times in the Gospels, and not just particularly with Easter when Jesus tells his own disciples to be not afraid. These words also show up when the angel Gabriel tells Our Lady to be not afraid at the Annunciation, as well as at the time of Jesus' birth for the shepherds and onlookers. These words are written and said throughout the liturgical seasons, and God is also telling us in our own lives to be not afraid. Even the first words of Pope John Paul II from when he became pope were these same words, to give us comfort, hope, and deep and reassuring trust.
We all have our fears, doubts, worries, anxieties. And I believe everyone has very similar ones at this particular time in our history, pertaining to the corona virus pandemic. This past week has been difficult for me personally. I am starting to feel more of the weight of not working, not being able to say goodbye and end the school year with my students, and of not being able to be of service at work like I have for the past wonderful 6 months. I also don't know what the future will hold, and have my own doubts and worries what the future will look like with this pandemic still here or not.
I have had my share of anxieties and fear this past week as well, struggling with sleep. The most joyous, beautiful, and hopeful time of the year with Easter has become one of fear for me as I wrestle with light and interrupted sleep and feelings of anxiety and trying not to overthink or let my mind wander too far. When this happens, I go back to Jesus saying, 'Be not afraid' to his disciples, and to me personally. I think about Him in the tabernacle alone at night and being present to Him in my heart and mind when I feel lonely and afraid.
I like to reflect upon the Magnificat Reflection from a few days ago:
You have made known to me the paths of life; you will fill me joy in your presence. And this pattern continues for us. Jesus met them on their way. That is, our Savior comes to us amidst the every day challenges and circumstances of our lives. Mary Magdalene and the other Mary embraced his wounded feet. They hear those wonderful words: 'Do not be afraid.'
Jesus shows his disciples that He is Risen, and they do not have to let their hearts be troubled (Jn 14:27) or be afraid. Even within their fear, Jesus comes in their midst and gives them (and us) peace. I need to keep reminding myself with great confidence that Jesus is always there! We do not need to be afraid with what we are experiencing now as a community. state, country, world, and in my own needs, yet instead to trust and believe like He desired us to. He comes into our lives just like he did on the road of Emmaus and guiding us on our journeys, and like he did when he lead his disciples to a miraculous catch of 153 fish and being present in their lives, so too with us.
One of the books I am reading is called the 7 secrets of Divine Mercy, and is relevant as tomorrow is Divine Mercy Sunday. I have this image in my room of the sacred heart of Jesus with the words, Jesus, I trust in you. May I continue to learn to trust in his mercy, healing and intimate and loving presence in my life. Happy Easter!
Wednesday, March 25, 2020
A Memory of Camping
The other day I was reminded of camping. A few of us went to Yosemite and Bass Lake last July for a quick yet very relaxing and enjoyable camping trip. I remember the peacefulness of nature, the adventure of a new excursion, and the nice getaway from the daily routine and busyness in order to escape into a quieter and serene like oasis. I couldn't help but match up these memories of camping to the reality of now with this pandemic in our world, our society and lives. It has changed so much of our daily routine, but in parts that are good such as slowing down and reflecting more.
When I think of camping, I also think of the other neighbors nearby who are also enjoying the beauty of nature and felt called to also camp and live and sleep among the birds and wild animals. With this virus happening in front of us, it also made me think of our neighbors and how like camping, we don't associate with them as much anymore for the choice of not getting too close to catch something and the paranoia and fear that we can all face; yet we are all experiencing together.
The slowness of time has also connected my memory with camping and now. There is less to do and be which allows for more of a forced than encouraged sense of desire of slowing down. Life has become more simple just like camping where the time of day is shown from where the sun rests in the sky. People want to get outside now more than before and take in nature and the breath of freedom and calmness. Like in our camping trip, being outdoors was part of most of our day and taking in God's creation.
This time of more slowness and step back from the daily routine has reminded me of that time in summer and camping. There was a slowness and peace with more reflection from a busier time prior personally and one that really wrecked with my mental, and emotional state but strengthened me spiritually. It was a breath of fresh air to take a rest physically, mentally, and spiritually and to step away from that daily grind even if I had no idea where I was to go next. That time reminds me a bit of this time, with a forced slowness, but one that has fear and uncertainty outside. However, I believe there is a light at the end of the tunnel, a silver lining to all of this.
There is hope and joy still as today is the feast of the Annunciation and this 4th week of Lent is referred to as Gaudete Sunday and meaning rejoice because Easter and the Lord's coming is soon. So too with this time of waiting and patience throughout Lent, it holds for our lives and the times now.
There couldn't be a better time for us to slow down, and reflect and pray more during this Lenten season. Just like that camping trip was a perfect time for me to take more time in nature and more time for reading, and reflection before the unknown was upon me. That camping trip was very helpful in the sense of perspective and gratitude. In a similar way with the busyness of our world having to nearly stop at its breaks and try to be innovative and creative. With this shelter in place protocol and isolation for some, it really can feel like we're camping inside our homes and just going outside to the grocery store or taking a walk. Although the future is unknown, it too has allowed some good to happen in our lives and in our world.
When I think of camping, I also think of the other neighbors nearby who are also enjoying the beauty of nature and felt called to also camp and live and sleep among the birds and wild animals. With this virus happening in front of us, it also made me think of our neighbors and how like camping, we don't associate with them as much anymore for the choice of not getting too close to catch something and the paranoia and fear that we can all face; yet we are all experiencing together.
The slowness of time has also connected my memory with camping and now. There is less to do and be which allows for more of a forced than encouraged sense of desire of slowing down. Life has become more simple just like camping where the time of day is shown from where the sun rests in the sky. People want to get outside now more than before and take in nature and the breath of freedom and calmness. Like in our camping trip, being outdoors was part of most of our day and taking in God's creation.
This time of more slowness and step back from the daily routine has reminded me of that time in summer and camping. There was a slowness and peace with more reflection from a busier time prior personally and one that really wrecked with my mental, and emotional state but strengthened me spiritually. It was a breath of fresh air to take a rest physically, mentally, and spiritually and to step away from that daily grind even if I had no idea where I was to go next. That time reminds me a bit of this time, with a forced slowness, but one that has fear and uncertainty outside. However, I believe there is a light at the end of the tunnel, a silver lining to all of this.
There is hope and joy still as today is the feast of the Annunciation and this 4th week of Lent is referred to as Gaudete Sunday and meaning rejoice because Easter and the Lord's coming is soon. So too with this time of waiting and patience throughout Lent, it holds for our lives and the times now.
There couldn't be a better time for us to slow down, and reflect and pray more during this Lenten season. Just like that camping trip was a perfect time for me to take more time in nature and more time for reading, and reflection before the unknown was upon me. That camping trip was very helpful in the sense of perspective and gratitude. In a similar way with the busyness of our world having to nearly stop at its breaks and try to be innovative and creative. With this shelter in place protocol and isolation for some, it really can feel like we're camping inside our homes and just going outside to the grocery store or taking a walk. Although the future is unknown, it too has allowed some good to happen in our lives and in our world.
Sunday, March 15, 2020
Pearl From an Oyster
"Circumstances must not control you; you must control circumstances. Do something to them! Even the irritations of life can be made stepping stones to salvation. An oyster develops a pearl because a grain of sand irritated it." This was an excerpt from a wonderful book I read last summer by V. Fulton J Sheen titled 'Remade for Happiness.'
I came across this point from the book recently as it reminded me of challenging situations and hardships that have happened in the past few years and some of the things that helped me, inspired and encouraged me.
These are good reminders for me now, as every season in life has its own share of hardship, suffering and growth. As of recently, I am undergoing some sadness and melancholy due to a special priest who is being transferred to another parish. It's hard not to get emotional about this change. I will miss his presence, his words of spiritual insight and wisdom, as well as his role as leader, and of course a spiritual father to the parish. I can't help but think of the hard times I was going through internally and this particular priest was a positive and encouraging presence to have around, whether that be in saying Mass, praying in the chapel, or receiving the Sacrament of Confession from him. In all, I have so much to be grateful for and I want to focus on that more.
This pearl from an oyster came in other forms in the last months and years. Just last year, I was looking through an old notebook from school that was used for Shakespeare notes, other English courses and International Relations notes. I was perusing through and looking back, and remembered my sister's old friend wrote on top of certain pages of little notes that made you smile since they were dispersed throughout. The thought of this old friend brought back inspiration as I recalled she was another kindred and creative soul, who also loved English and literature. My dear sister gave me the bracelet that her friend made, (and that notebook from her) that was so original and creative, it helped me throughout my long and hard work days.
I remember back in early 2017, I had an inspiration to make videos on YouTube. It was an outlet that I hadn't tried before and also thought it would be a good idea to be comfortable on camera. My idea was for English lessons, as I was tutoring students in person. This idea of making videos gradually led into Arabic language lessons to help me continue learning the Arabic language and share it with others. It helped me in moments when I didn't have a lot going on and another thing to pursue and find inspiration with on the side.
During difficult internal moments, prayer is always powerful and a way to turn a deep and personal challenging times into a prayer. To surrender to God, His plans, and to ask and hope for what I need. It's also been a beautiful way to turn the pains into something good and unite them with Jesus's sufferings and passion.
Also in 2017, I had the inspiration to get more into cooking, grocery shopping and was inspired to try out different recipes from my international cookbooks. I wanted to create and serve in some way, and first it was at home. But this desire deepened as those months went by, and I didn't know where to look to. With a lot of research and prayer, I was able to volunteer with a senior center and serve food. I feel in love with it and was grateful for those many months of uncertainty due to the fruition of hope and joy. I continue to enjoy cooking, making new recipes and have collected 2 binders full of recipes!
I wrote a lot due to various thoughts and feelings and wanted to jot things down. I would write in the pages of notebook, and still do, but creating Samakti was officially born out of a need and desire to write, to share and to become creative in another form.
These are just a few things that have encouraged me to change a circumstance within my control, to learn, grow from and grow closer to God. I am grateful for these experiences.
I came across this point from the book recently as it reminded me of challenging situations and hardships that have happened in the past few years and some of the things that helped me, inspired and encouraged me.
These are good reminders for me now, as every season in life has its own share of hardship, suffering and growth. As of recently, I am undergoing some sadness and melancholy due to a special priest who is being transferred to another parish. It's hard not to get emotional about this change. I will miss his presence, his words of spiritual insight and wisdom, as well as his role as leader, and of course a spiritual father to the parish. I can't help but think of the hard times I was going through internally and this particular priest was a positive and encouraging presence to have around, whether that be in saying Mass, praying in the chapel, or receiving the Sacrament of Confession from him. In all, I have so much to be grateful for and I want to focus on that more.
This pearl from an oyster came in other forms in the last months and years. Just last year, I was looking through an old notebook from school that was used for Shakespeare notes, other English courses and International Relations notes. I was perusing through and looking back, and remembered my sister's old friend wrote on top of certain pages of little notes that made you smile since they were dispersed throughout. The thought of this old friend brought back inspiration as I recalled she was another kindred and creative soul, who also loved English and literature. My dear sister gave me the bracelet that her friend made, (and that notebook from her) that was so original and creative, it helped me throughout my long and hard work days.
I remember back in early 2017, I had an inspiration to make videos on YouTube. It was an outlet that I hadn't tried before and also thought it would be a good idea to be comfortable on camera. My idea was for English lessons, as I was tutoring students in person. This idea of making videos gradually led into Arabic language lessons to help me continue learning the Arabic language and share it with others. It helped me in moments when I didn't have a lot going on and another thing to pursue and find inspiration with on the side.
During difficult internal moments, prayer is always powerful and a way to turn a deep and personal challenging times into a prayer. To surrender to God, His plans, and to ask and hope for what I need. It's also been a beautiful way to turn the pains into something good and unite them with Jesus's sufferings and passion.
Also in 2017, I had the inspiration to get more into cooking, grocery shopping and was inspired to try out different recipes from my international cookbooks. I wanted to create and serve in some way, and first it was at home. But this desire deepened as those months went by, and I didn't know where to look to. With a lot of research and prayer, I was able to volunteer with a senior center and serve food. I feel in love with it and was grateful for those many months of uncertainty due to the fruition of hope and joy. I continue to enjoy cooking, making new recipes and have collected 2 binders full of recipes!
I wrote a lot due to various thoughts and feelings and wanted to jot things down. I would write in the pages of notebook, and still do, but creating Samakti was officially born out of a need and desire to write, to share and to become creative in another form.
These are just a few things that have encouraged me to change a circumstance within my control, to learn, grow from and grow closer to God. I am grateful for these experiences.
Friday, February 28, 2020
The Intricacies of the Heart
We are in the Lenten season, and it's the time of year of sacrifice, and fasting and doing or giving up something. I have come to appreciate Lent as of recently because of what it allows us to do and prepare for- Easter, and uniting more with Jesus' passion and growing closer to Him. I remember learning more about Lent in Confirmation class and it wasn't a very enjoyable time of the year, with winter and the cold weather in session still, on top of having everything feel like a dry desert in the spiritual life in order to mimic Jesus' 40 days in the desert. The lay out of the churches are bare and dry to the bone, usually with a hint of purple and a water jug that is empty to symbolize various things when it comes to the spiritual life. Back in high school for Confirmation, seeing images like these wasn't very inspiring and on top of school work and the work load of being a student or on a sports team, having to do something for Lent wasn't very inspiring or fun.
I went to an evening Mass for Ash Wednesday, and the church became full to the brim rather quickly. Once again, the memories of daily mass at this church a year ago brought back reflections of what things looked like for me, and how things were. I saw how the church was displayed for Lent, and the water jug that I mentioned earlier brought back memories of that Confirmation class. I understood the meaning in that we need to empty ourselves, and reform our old ways. As the verse goes, 'Rend your hearts, not your garments, and return to the Lord, your God.' (Prophet Joel 2:12) Lent is about transforming our hearts, not just about giving something up, but how whatever we are doing is making us pray more, more generous, and ultimately drawing us closer to God.
So many things come to my mind when speaking of this water jug, and our hearts. Only 2 weeks ago we had Valentine's Day, but I'm not speaking of a Valentine's heart that is perfectly shaped, since we are broken people with real hearts. The priest who gave the Ash Wednesday Mass used the message of Pope Francis for his homily, and he talked about taking out the dust from our lives, our hearts. Ashes we are and they are on our foreheads as a reminder, but the dust is also in other places that we need to get rid of. I thought that was a very powerful message and viewpoint to start out this season.
I recently finished a good spiritual book called Jesus the Bridegroom:The greatest Love Story Ever Told. It was very insightful, and part of the book the author went into further detail of the Woman at the Well, and the significance of it, one that I had never heard of before. I think most people are at least familiar with the story, but I did not know that it was a sign of betrothal for a Jewish man in that time to wait or meet a woman at a well in terms of getting married. Jesus was in that position with this woman in order to lead her to the truth, and to lead her to Him. Her water jug she had as well but everything she was doing in her life, her 5 former relationships with men and another who were not her husbands were not fulfilling her. I happen to have this image of the Woman at the Well and Jesus there speaking truth into her life on my bedroom wall with the words on the image from St. Augustine, 'Jesus thirsts that we may thirst for Him.' How relevant it is to each of us, especially during this holy time of Lent, to deepen our hearts, minds, and souls.
Our hearts are not only spiritual but also physical. For the past week or two, I've been walking past chalked hearts on campus from a Science class learning about the structure, function and shape of this fist shaped muscle. Every time I walk past it, I say a little prayer for my dear nephew inside my dear sister's womb who has his a heart condition that we are all praying for. Our hearts speak to us, as I know the Holy Spirit has spoken and guided my own heart in ways that can be hard to describe. Right now I am reading a book called To the Heart of the Matter by the founder of 40 days for Life, Shawn Carney. It's such an enriching and insightful read that talks about abortion, but how we can be witnesses to life and the pro-life cause just in our daily actions and lives. During this Lenten season, I want to make time to pray outside Planned Parenthood with 40 days, as lives and hearts our changed through our efforts and prayers.
There are moments that speak to our hearts in ways that are not always serious but rather fun, lively and full of God's beauty, like an awe filled sunset, or making jewelry with your dear sisters and laughing and talking like sisters do. May there be joy in our hearts this season on Lent, and to continue to draw closer to our Lord.
I went to an evening Mass for Ash Wednesday, and the church became full to the brim rather quickly. Once again, the memories of daily mass at this church a year ago brought back reflections of what things looked like for me, and how things were. I saw how the church was displayed for Lent, and the water jug that I mentioned earlier brought back memories of that Confirmation class. I understood the meaning in that we need to empty ourselves, and reform our old ways. As the verse goes, 'Rend your hearts, not your garments, and return to the Lord, your God.' (Prophet Joel 2:12) Lent is about transforming our hearts, not just about giving something up, but how whatever we are doing is making us pray more, more generous, and ultimately drawing us closer to God.
So many things come to my mind when speaking of this water jug, and our hearts. Only 2 weeks ago we had Valentine's Day, but I'm not speaking of a Valentine's heart that is perfectly shaped, since we are broken people with real hearts. The priest who gave the Ash Wednesday Mass used the message of Pope Francis for his homily, and he talked about taking out the dust from our lives, our hearts. Ashes we are and they are on our foreheads as a reminder, but the dust is also in other places that we need to get rid of. I thought that was a very powerful message and viewpoint to start out this season.
I recently finished a good spiritual book called Jesus the Bridegroom:The greatest Love Story Ever Told. It was very insightful, and part of the book the author went into further detail of the Woman at the Well, and the significance of it, one that I had never heard of before. I think most people are at least familiar with the story, but I did not know that it was a sign of betrothal for a Jewish man in that time to wait or meet a woman at a well in terms of getting married. Jesus was in that position with this woman in order to lead her to the truth, and to lead her to Him. Her water jug she had as well but everything she was doing in her life, her 5 former relationships with men and another who were not her husbands were not fulfilling her. I happen to have this image of the Woman at the Well and Jesus there speaking truth into her life on my bedroom wall with the words on the image from St. Augustine, 'Jesus thirsts that we may thirst for Him.' How relevant it is to each of us, especially during this holy time of Lent, to deepen our hearts, minds, and souls.
Our hearts are not only spiritual but also physical. For the past week or two, I've been walking past chalked hearts on campus from a Science class learning about the structure, function and shape of this fist shaped muscle. Every time I walk past it, I say a little prayer for my dear nephew inside my dear sister's womb who has his a heart condition that we are all praying for. Our hearts speak to us, as I know the Holy Spirit has spoken and guided my own heart in ways that can be hard to describe. Right now I am reading a book called To the Heart of the Matter by the founder of 40 days for Life, Shawn Carney. It's such an enriching and insightful read that talks about abortion, but how we can be witnesses to life and the pro-life cause just in our daily actions and lives. During this Lenten season, I want to make time to pray outside Planned Parenthood with 40 days, as lives and hearts our changed through our efforts and prayers.
There are moments that speak to our hearts in ways that are not always serious but rather fun, lively and full of God's beauty, like an awe filled sunset, or making jewelry with your dear sisters and laughing and talking like sisters do. May there be joy in our hearts this season on Lent, and to continue to draw closer to our Lord.
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