Retracing Goals

 I feel I've lost some of my sense of goals from New Years. The year has really taken its own spin of semi constant motion. And with Earth Day this past week, the rain, there's only remotely been a slow down to reflect and recollect. Given that there are only about 30 days left in the school year, the challenge is stay focused, engaged, but also motivated. It's important to take time to rejuvenate and recollect. 

There have been many days of where it's hard to be and stay inspired. Or I don't always feel like myself, or I forget my goals and pursuits.

I think one of the main things to instill this recharge of inspiration is less or no social media use and prayer and silence. That feels the most inspiring, and during the Lenten season that's what I did. There was so much fruit coming from it and I know God blesses that. 

As my sister and I have talked about, goals are so important and even crucial. They are essential because they are a life force and speak on purpose, motivation and inspiration. 

So, some goals I have for myself:

-Continue to study German

-Continue to study and review Russian

-Read the book of Romans, Isaiah, and the Psalms in the Bible

-Learn and memorize a prayer in a foreign language (Russian, German or Chinese)

-Paint

-Craft/Knit

-Write creatively (short story)

I'm sure there's more, but this a good start and don't want to be overwhelmed.

Prayer Journal Entry

 I came upon my prayer journal from a few years ago. Sometimes I peruse through these journals and remember vaguely or distinctly that time period. I felt like through my writing and processing it was hard. There were definitely ebbs and flows, and I feel that's true for a melancholy temperament, but also life! 

In this particular entry, it was late January 2022. There was a lot of growth and coming out of a hard 2021, and still feeling isolated from Covid, transitioning still with my sweet sister moved out late summer 2020, but in person classes for my job had been back in session for a good while. There was also a business of wedding season and being a bridesmaid in my brother's wedding and then later my sister's. Additionally, my Masters program was constantly demanding. 

I felt quite alone in my thoughts at my job. Inspiration wasn't always a flow, and some days were harder mentally than others. Those memories of being in that classroom from most of the school year prior were becoming more distant yet were so personal and raw. 

Here is some of what I wrote in that entry:

"Keep my focus on you, my joy on you, and to be in the present moment, for that is where you are, as well as your gifts and graces. I have been given so much, and it all bestows your love and generosity. I have to trust that you know me and know what's best for me now. 

But I believe you really are preparing me for something, something that you have planned for me and I'm meant to do. Who knows what, how, when, but you do, and I can hope, rest and trust in that."

A Holy Thursday Reflection

 *I wrote this in my notebook on Good Friday.

It was a moving and touching Holy Thursday Mass and Good Friday Service. Just to try and be able to comprehend Jesus' suffering willingly made me emotional and brought tears to my eyes. And while on my walk, thinking of Jesus' age, 33- the same age as me! What profound mystery, contemplation, and spiritual connection.

Seeing the apartments (near the school I used to work at) built and ready, they look so different than when they were being constructed and built in the Fall. So too, time has passed and things have changed. I have grown.

The school buildings (near where I live, and Elementary School I went to) look so different as well, more like new classrooms. Growth, building, purpose. 

I remember last year's Holy Thursday, parking in front of the Catholic school because the parking lot and other areas were full. I parked right next to a St. Joseph statue, I remember I felt worn out and very annoyed with a student from that day and just over the school year. I was applying and praying for a teaching job. 

When I did work at the Catholic School just 5 months later, and I would be walking back from Mass with my class, I saw that same St. Jospeh statue in front of the school, and each time I'd think of that Holy Thursday. 

God had surely answered my desires and prayers for a teaching job. 

Finding Russian

 I brought my Russian flashcards. I may study them. I cannot seem to find my Russian notebook I've been using for at least 2 years. I've looked everywhere I've thought it could be. I used it to write down new words, phrases and also information from my Russian course last spring.

So, I'm starting over.

It's been a while since I've sat down and studied and reviewed Russian. Maybe also because I have been focusing on German, my notes, and my course. 

I have been invigorated by Russian studying and know it's not completely gone; it's just has been on the backburner. 

Why not start today? 

Why not during this Easter season? 

That's one of my goals anyway, to get back into Russian and maybe learn a prayer. 

Also, in German. 

The possibilities seem endless!

Cherry Blossoms and Nighttime in D.C.

 

That picture from July 2023 in D.C. I came across it recently. 

I was...

sweaty and sticky from the humidity. 

inspired and excited to be visiting a new place (well, after only been there once 11 years prior)

interested in history and reminded me of the high school class I was in at my job, relearning about US history and enjoying it!

inspired to see the monuments at nighttime

studying Korean that summer, as a new language endeavor

looking into internships and would have another interview late July.

healing from a guy who was uncommunicative after 4 dates, and I thought it could lead to something.

figuring our friends and potential friendships.

writing and bought a cherry blossom notebook

reminiscing and processing busy and hectic school year and semester, with some nostalgia.

really enjoying the site seeing, history, museums, beauty of the area. 

taking in the various excursions and special quality time with my sister and her family.

sleeping in until 9am easily while staying over at my sister and her family's house

starting another year (31!) and wondering what it would entail

last two semesters of Library Science and thinking and questioning next steps. 

thinking maybe I missed the right guy for me

desiring for marriage

got into the hit TV show, The Chosen from my sister and nieces

Easter Is...

 Easter is waking up a bit earlier, walking with your mom to Mass, and feeling like the disciples who were walking on the road to Emmaus. 

Easter feels like taking in a breath of fresh air and enjoying the scenery, plants, food and coffee you're having for breakfast while reflecting on the priest's homily. 

Easter feels like slowing down. It is taking in the beauty and gratitude of life.

 When I was on my way to the Easter Vigil last week, waling rather quickly in order to get a good seat, there was a lady who was walking behind me. I saw some roses as I was walking and thought to myself it would be nice to smell the roses (and slow down), but I didn't. Instead, she did and said, "nice to slow down and smell the roses." What a premonition, and nice thing to do and remember. 

Easter is reflecting on Christ's Passion, and the glory of His Resurrection and the mystery of it all, the magnitude and sheer love of it all. Hope, joy and peace all wrapped together. 

Saints Along the Way

 I was thinking of some saints who reminded me of somethings during my trip to Monterey and Carmel.

-St. Joseph: Helping us find parking spaces for our car, at least 3 times!

-St. Josemaria: Watching the ducks swimming in the pond, it reminded of his metaphor of ducks.

-St. Maria Faustina: Seeing the ocean, in its beauty and vastness, reminds me of comparison to God's infinite mercy, stated from her diary. 

-St. Junipero Serra: San Carlos Cathedral and Mission Carmel

-St. Therese of Lisieux: Ordering and eating a vanilla eclair from a French bakery...hmmm delicious!

-St. Mother Teresa: Reading a book about her

-The disciples on the road to Emmaus: Heard this Gospel at Mass and my mom and I were like them, walking together to go to Mass in beautiful Monterey.