Beautiful Blessings

 I went on a beautiful walk yesterday. The weather was perfect and the magnolia trees were glorious in full bloom. I'm really trying to soak in these summer days. It almost feels like a thread going through my fingers, looking back it has gone by so fast.

I came across this tree again, which I usually do if I'm going this way on my walk. I stopped and noticed that it is in full bloom, as usual during the summer months. I call it the 'raspberry tree' as it looks like the color and shape of raspberries, one of my favorite fruits. 

Almost 2 years ago, I remember I saw this exact same tree, exact location when we went to the park with my sisters and their children and our two nieces. It was a somewhat difficult time for me of transition and figuring out the next steps. My heart and mind had mostly closed off what I studied for my master's degree and charting new paths with another job at a school that I really desired to do again. I had felt at times I was also in a slump after all that the year had brought so far- so much unknown, stress, high anxiety, confusion, and not to mention wrestling with still being single at newly 32 when everyone in my family had children and growing families. The latter would come up off and on, yet be most profound when family would visit.

This type of tree also reminds me a lot of that newly challenging and growing season when my sister moved out almost 6 years ago in mid-August. These trees were in full bloom at the church we would sometimes go to when we switched up the churches we would attend during the pandemic. The trees looked fresh, ripe and at their peak in summer, but a lot of stirring in my heart and mind was going on, a new season all its own, adjustments, change, even growing pains that do turn out to be good and fruitful for us but in the moment and season it can be difficult to know that. 

Yesterday I was counting my blessings. The magnificent and pleasant weather couldn't be beat, listening to calming reflections from one of my favorite speakers Emily Wilson Husseum, finding cool books in little free libraries, my mom making a delicious sweet and sour pork recipe, finding our black kitty at 11pm ready to come inside instead of being out all night. This tree shines in all its beauty this season, and I want to thank God for all of the blessings I have. 

Youthful Adventures

 My memories of her haven't gone to her in years but the other night I seemed to have a dream or at least a remembrance of her. It was somewhat vague, but it involved henna, the lovely, designed tattoo that usually goes on your hands. Somehow it came back to my mind while I was reading and enjoying Malala Yousfzai's new book, 'Finding My Way.'

When I write 'her', it brings me back to my old friend from junior college, Nasira, or Nas as she sometimes called herself. We met on the first day of our Political Science class January 2013. The room was packed and I happened to be sitting way in the back, perhaps even sitting on the carpet. During a break, we somehow started talking and asked each other's majors (she was a Poli Sci major) and I was an English major and would probably emphasis in Literature. At the time, I was thinking about transferring to SF State. We clicked right away and I felt her interesting and inspiring to talk to. 

After the class was over, and we both knew we would be accepted into that crowded class and waitlist, we said goodbye and parted ways. Only a few minutes later did I see her at the bus stop, and we reconnected as I also took the bus. I learned that she was on her way to work- she worked at a clothing store at a nearby shopping mall. 

We sat next to each other on the bus and continued to talk further and we shared having many siblings in common! She a Muslim, I a Catholic, and her detailing her life in Russia growing up. She was Afghan and originally from there but felt more connected to being Russian and the culture as she spent most of her growing up years there. Though she spoke 5 languages, Russian seemed to be her most dominant and comfortable. 

We began to do various things together, as she had the ideas, and was able to get a car. I could drive and was getting more comfortable but didn't have access to a car yet.  I remember her birthday to be in late March, and just two months after meeting and befriending we had lunch out, Haagen-Dazs ice cream and went to a park to celebrate. I found it interesting since she offered to pay for everything after I mentioned to help pay but she disagreed. She said since it was her idea, she would pay! She also called me and thanked me for my birthday card. I thought that it was so different than my past friendships.

I remember one time we decided to go all the way to the city (SF) after school. We took Bart and spent the afternoon there and went shopping at a mall, got dinner and laughed and talked about the various people we knew. We also got lost in the parking garage for a while when we couldn't find her car. Nasira and I were both part of Student Government as Senators. I joined first before I met her, and later on she also joined. 

I feel life became more fun, interesting and dramatic with Nasira. Besides Political Science, we also took a drawing class together (my idea) and an International Relations Political Science class, as well as Volleyball my last semester. She would happily do henna on my hands many a time at school and even on my sisters when she came over to my house, which was a number of times. 

We even got ready together for a formal dance at my house that a contact from student government put on with a lot of us. We enjoyed playing a rendition of ultimate frisbee on Friday afternoons with other student government people. Or the summer I was stressed and working at In-N-Out and we stayed up late and tried to watch a meteor shower with her sister, our mutual friend and my sister. And two years prior was when she went with two of my sisters and I. 

However, like many friendships do, I felt our friendship starting to fizzle out a year or so after I graduated from Junior College. I think it was more me, as I graduated sooner to transfer to university than she did, we had less in common, and I felt I became more serious. 

I felt a shift as I was going to a new school and didn't know anyone, and more an emphasis on my catholic faith. I started going to daily Mass and increase my prayer life and I saw huge shifts in how I spent my time, and the people I would spend it with. Ultimately, I felt that I had a lot more grace and an awareness of it in my life. 

Our priorities and lifestyles were different and that didn't seem to be a noticeable thing when we were in Junor College together. I just felt we were growing apart in our own ways, on our own unique and beautiful paths. Deep down, I truly believed we met and had our friendship for a specific purpose and time, even if she didn't hold that same belief.

Looking back, I'm so grateful for our time together, the memories, the excursions, laughs, and inside jokes. It was a very youthful time in our early 20's navigating college and the world at our fingertips. We learned from each other, and I think helped one another in our own ways. We had different stories and life experiences, opposite personalities and energies, different faiths but respected one another's. I'm grateful to God for putting her in my life at that special and pivotal time. 

Classroom Set Up

 Having my mom help me set up my classroom has been a real treasure. After working there for 6 months- the last half of the school year, I have created my own set of memories and associations. It was a busy and juggling time to navigate a lot more than just a new classroom, new school, new grade, new students, parents, colleagues, and culture to name a few. There was a ton of sifting through my head and processing all that had led and prepared me. 

I'm reminded when I helped my mom decorate her classroom when she was a master's student and student teaching. I was in late middle school, and I drew posters for her to put up in her college classroom which was very dull and drab. I remember one I drew was of a rose and connecting it with life's journey. My mom told me that a student admired and commented on the nice poster drawings to help build a more inspiring environment. 

My mom has been so helpful and comforting to have as I start to set up my classroom and truly make it my own for the first time. I've gotten to share more with her and paint more of a picture, and also for her to meet some of my colleagues who have been around here and there this summer.  For this past first year of teaching, the classrooms were already set up (which was kind of nice and helped me to focus on other things I needed to plan for), but I feel I'm ready this time around and have my own ideas and style to make it feel more like me. 

A school year is a long time, a lot happens. I felt that the spring semester at my new school went by very fast. Most of the days and weeks flew by. I would look back and wonder where had the time gone? I felt that the Fall semester at my first school was quite slower and took time to make it to some milestones (Labor Day, Halloween, Conferences, Thanksgiving Break). Maybe also since it was my first classroom teaching experience and everything was so new and what to expect.

 It has gotten a little easier, and I felt some things I have tackled a bit better with my second school, classroom management to name one, and having a better rewards system. I'm still getting acclimated to the curriculum, naturally, but that I'm sure that too gets easier and more comfortable overtime. 

Her Birthday Cards

 I find it interesting yet meaningful that when I read my dear sister's birthday card and opened up her gifts, it was in a loud and busy environment. It's something that wasn't too surprising for me as it brought back some memories of that hectic environment when I used to work there (same chain restaurant, different location.) 

It was meaningful because her presence and gifts are always so special and meaningful to me; her words capturing our sisterly love and deep relationship always makes me misty-eyed. The environment put me right back into my old workplace that I had only worked in for a few weeks over 10 summers ago. The well-known fast-food restaurant that is always noisy, chaotic and popular wasn't a good fit for me then, yet simply being back was special as well as for my other sweet sister who was visiting from out of town.

What's interesting is that time seemed to stop, despite the clamorous surrounding environment as I read my dear sister's beautiful, loving, affirming and comforting words. Tears quite easily streamed down my eyes and face, not out of sadness but of sheer joy, appreciation and gratitude. She always picks out the sweetest cards, thoughtful and lovely, speaking to the core of who you are and how she relates and knows you.

I have kept up the birthday card she wrote and gave me last year. 33 was such a precious and special year, our quick time together over muffins, pastry and coffee (in Petaluma on the way to meet up with out other sister), so she could gift me her birthday gifts. And this year, I have also put up her lovely birthday card- one speaking of elegance and prettiness of a three-tiered pink birthday cake wrapped in flower decor with elegant cursive 'sister' written above. Sister, a word that we have commonly used in other languages we've been studying- hermana, jie, schwester, cectpa, soeur. 

With all the commotion going on around us at the fast-food restaurant, there was simplicity and a sense of calmness and silence as I read her descriptive and gracious words and opened up her generous gifts. Something so ordinary, like eating at a fast-food chain I had used to work at, yet so meaningful and profound. 

We were embracing our soul sisterhood friendship, celebrating another year of life for me, and visiting and remembering close to our hearts her dear son who had passed way 6 years prior.

 It was nothing short of a gift. 

Sweet Sister Opposites

 Having my sweet sister with me on my birthday was a real treat. It was so special and memorable!

We haven't seen each other for a year but have been in contact from time to time throughout the school year. She is also a teacher! So, there is a lot to update, connect and catch up on.

We have some similarities, but we are also opposites. Where I am reserved, she is loud and talkative. Where I am more talkative, she listens and makes me laugh. Where I love thrifting and am naturally a spender, she enjoys seeing what I bought and commenting. The other morning, when I was wearing what I bought, she said 'That is so Colleen'. 

Where she is stronger headed and determined, I am slower and a thinker. Where her birthday is the beginning of winter, mine is the beginning of summer. Where I am a cat lover, she is also, and laughs at my intensity and silliness of loving our cats a little too much. 

Where I often leave my hair wavy curly, she blows dry her hair straight. She did blow dry my hair sleek and straight the night before my birthday!

I am working at the school where she went for Elementary School. 

We are 11.5 years apart. We have the same Alma Mater.

Book Day

 

My sister and I browsing (Vintage) books during our sister weekend in Davis

I realized the other day that it was a book day. From visiting the MLK SJSU Library and browsing some of its shelves, to donating my books at my local bookstore and then browsing the aisles while waiting for my name to be called for some small reimbursement (any amount of money is nice!) and buying a few cherished items right after.

Later in the day, I went to my public library, dropped off overdue books and then picked up books waiting for me.

It truly was an unplanned for book day, and one that I was happy and inspired about. Books are my love language- the written word, ideas, stories, adventures and perspectives. They are also gifts I love to give and share. 

Summer is the time for enjoying the slower days, and reading a good book (or more) is a treasure.