Past Questions, New Answers

I love this quote. It came to me last year around this time when I was wondering and hoping for a new face to brighten up my day or something inside of me to connect with the outside world and with  others. I was unsure and uncertain of what to do or how to make this throbbing feeling go away. I had to sigh and think back to Zora Neale Hurston's quote, 'There are years that ask questions and years that answer." I was in the year of asking, and hoped that sometime soon, eventually, I could be on the receiving end. However, as I've learned life doesn't always work out that way as we would hope or even expect. Sometimes we just have to learn how to be content and happy with what we are given and grateful and leave everything else behind us- not let it be a pure focus.

I recently just finished Hurston's well known novel, 'Their Eyes Were Watching God.' I had to read it for an English class a couple of years ago, and decided to read it again. Janie, the main character in the story is a young woman who is trying to find herself and her place in life. She goes where her grandma says she should go until it's in her gut that she knows it's not the right place for her. So her inner adventurous spirit paves the way for her as she experiences two other marriages that both lead to death...but my question is, does it lead to her death? She appears to be depressed and solemn after 'burying the dead', and maybe that also implies burying her old self.

I'm not sure if I have the answers to the questions I asked last year, but I know that God does and that's all that really matters for now. Perhaps I don't have all the answers, but maybe some. Answers being that I know myself more and have grown through hardships and seasons of dryness and unknowns as well as solitude and isolation. My answers have lied in being more hopeful in God's plan for my life and rest assured that He knows what he's doing and I should just enjoy the show, doing what I can but not taking credit for the what belongs to Him.

Some days I do feel like Janie, figuring out my place in life and learning from the journey as well as learning to leave behind what needs to stay behind and embracing all that lies ahead, in hope of God's ultimate plan that rests on the horizon.