A Sense of Comfort

I have known for a while that I am a comfort seeking person. I need comfort in my life to keep me unstressed, to know that everything will be okay, and to not loose my mental balance. Comfort in a listening ear, a reassuring word, a caring touch- these are some ways that comfort speaks to me and I'm sure many other people as well. But comfort shows up and speaks to me in other ways as well, perhaps even at a deeper and connecting type of way.

Just recently, I was thinking this whole comfort thing over and began to see a couple of different things that connected with me and helped reaffirm that I need things, ideas or people that I can connect with on a deeper level that give me this 'comfort.'

I read a book by an awesome priest writer, and this book was more like a journal. It had the day of the week and the date and a long or semi-short synopsis of his feelings, thoughts, observations like prayer words and thoughts that all spiraled and formed this book. This was the third spiritual reading book I have read by him, and I was impressed by his ways with words, descriptions of interior life whether that be issues, resolutions or a mix. Gliding through his entries made me feel more connected with myself since I know that I could connect with how described various things, and it consoled me and gave me a sense of comfort.

Yesterday, I was going through a new and favorite art and spiritual book I received from Christmas from my dear sister. It has beautiful pictures, paintings, reflections and psalms and the book is divided into the four seasons. I want to know, reflect upon and memorize more psalms and so I have been taking notes on the psalms listed. This book, its many artistic facets is inspiring and comforting to me, and helps me connect deeper with my faith.

Although I'm not a big bake lover, I enjoy watching others bake and the process, the art, the messiness, and the preciseness of it all. I wouldn't consider myself a great baker (yet). I quadruple check the ingredient servings, I shake while measuring salt, any sweet liquids and I'm as slow as a turtle. Maybe that's why I thoroughly enjoy watching the Great British Baking Show. Viewing bakers from all backgrounds who are British and see them in this non competitive like competition. The show is now down to the final three, and I've had my favorite ever since the beginning of the episode. I sensed that I could connect with her. Her demeanor, and personality made me not feel so alone in that I too could be like that- seem more shy or quiet or even hard on myself, to be fearless and believe in yourself.
 I find this talented baker, Ruby to keep things interesting; she really just knows how to be herself.  Even when things weren't going her way, she would admit it and try to appear calm and even if her result didn't look the best, she made it become the best since she made it her own. She is usually or almost always hard on herself and sometimes even surprises herself when she did a lot better than she thought and smiles big. I've been rooting for her to win and didn't want her to get off. Ruby gave me comfort with myself to keep pursuing my passions even if it's hard or I don't see any progress. It's inspiring to see her come this far and prove her talent on this baking show.

Candy is one of my students. Her personality can be bold, silly, loud, hardworking and attentive. Her English name is Candy and I can connect with her name because I like eating sweets. I enjoy teaching her English and being in her presence because she is naturally an interesting person. She can be high energy at times and go on tangents and she can also be really engaged and enjoy my lessons. She also loves to read and appears to be the non-conventional type. She'd rather read a book in her room than go to a Middle School dance. She likes to learn and has ambition to open her own business when she is older. Her Chinese name was the same as my Chinese name when I was in College and minoring in Chinese language. I know it's still a part of me because when her Mom calls her name, Menglin then I also look but soon realize she's no talking to me. I am not super neat or organized with my notes and lesson assignments, and she too finds random and out of order pages to take notes in her notebook. I feel a sense of comfort and reassurance about myself every time I am with Candy.