The Knock

It feels like the holidays are almost here. I can feel it in the air, feel it in the mood. The end of the year is swiftly approaching closer and the smell of turkey, pumpkin pie and a Christmas tree are right near the doorstep, soon to knock. The knock of guests will come and enter, the knock of generosity and joy and all things that fill the heart throughout the holiday season.

The knock on my heart as of late is more about the next step and preparing for it. I've had some time to really sit and process things, to mentally prepare, hope and enjoy the present moment. Even if some days feel more busy or productive than others, I am continually growing, learning and getting ready for what's ahead.

I have been very blessed with growing and learning so much from former job of Freelance English Tutoring. God knew that my heart was yearning for a job to utilize my skill set for individual's needs and see their progress up close. I was able to call the shots and take control and ultimately lead and plan in the direction where I felt was right. I encountered various students and learned so much from each of them. Some I connected with more than others and some were easier to motivate and tutor than others. Almost all of them I was welcomed into their homes and absorbed into their culture, daily living and native language. The many hard moments of learning solely and not connecting with others in my college classes for my language study (Mandarin) paid off when I could use my knowledge of the language, culture and customs when needed as well as fulfill my role and passion in teaching English as a second language.

I remember earlier in the year right before I was going to go into my student's home, I quickly prayed to God that he was the one who made my job of tutoring possible and I had these clients, some longer than others, but always a few to tutor. There was a reason that I was given this opportunity. If He wanted to take it away, then I would trust Him. I felt this later on, in later Summer that my heart was in a different place with tutoring. I had grown a lot over the Summer and things just weren't the same, my energy and enthusiasm were different and I could tell that I had stopped growing in it. I felt that my prayer earlier in the year had been answered and acknowledged and could tell that my time was coming to a close. I was becoming ready for the next chapter and to focus on other things to help prepare me.

I am continually trusting that God continues to prepare me for the soon to be changes in my schedule with a new job, new opportunities and new challenges. It has been a beautiful season even if some of it has been hard and at times painful. I am looking forward to the celebrations of the holidays, the turning of the liturgical year as well as the new year. There is so much ahead, and I feel more excited, ready and blessed!