Keeping Away From Boredom

Boredom, it can be one of the most deadliest things to experience. I think it can come about in different seasons and phases in life. I was thinking about it yesterday when the Deacon who gave the reflection and communion service spoke about being half way through Lent and perhaps getting bored and complacent. We may need to change things up and take note of how we are doing. 3 weeks ago was Ash Wednesday and the start of Lent and three weeks from now is Holy Week and Good Friday.

To help boost my inspiration, positivity and creative mindset in the evening and in the early morning, I sometimes listen to a CD that I created last Spring. It brings me back to a year ago and how things were blooming and flourishing, and not just the flowers. I was enjoying, learning and progressing in my ECD classes and knowledge, I loved my students and was seeing their progress and enjoyment in my lessons, I was able to make time for Mass and adoration throughout the week, I was keeping up with my Arabic study and language learning, and reading and finishing books were a source of inspiration that was overflowing.

To summarize, I was anything but bored and was keeping things interesting, thanks due to my varied schedule. As the saying goes, variety is the spice of life. To get back to this CD, one of the audios is from Ben Curtis who is the co-creator of Notes in Spanish. I love his perspective on life and his way of thinking and innovation. While playing this CD, I can hear his voice and his optimism when he talks about 'The Extraordinary Boring Life'. He talks about instead of always looking for excitement in life especially when life starts becoming more ordinary and monotonous, to look for extraordinary in the simple, everyday parts and moments of life. Hearing his message never gets old no matter how much I've heard it and I can now almost memorize it.

On a personal note, I know what Ben Curtis is saying when life may seem boring or monotonous. Since working full time, it has been difficult finding the variety and time for creating interesting things everyday. It's not only hard because it's not easy to find energy, motivation, and time for but also because it's an adjustment to what I'm used to. However, my need and desire for a creative outlet, and something to call my own lies deep and I must find the time and energy to do so. This is not only pertaining to outside of work but within it also. For example, listening to a child longer, laughing and joking with them and bonding with them in some way, reading a story to a child/ren, playing a game with them and allowing them to teach me, using my Chinese, drawing an airplane for one and writing 'I love you' for another in cursive writing. Sometimes these children get bored, and perhaps I do too with the motions and instead try to stop, reflect and think of how I can improve and make things interesting and more me!

 To keep my mind going and my spiritual realm alive admist chaos, noise and a large sum of patience needed throughout the work day, I try to recall words I know in Arabic, praying the memorare prayer when I feel I need the graces at that moment, and thinking of Jesus in the Eucharist not so far away and the beautiful image of Our Lady of Guadalupe that I prayed to in front of this morning and every morning for divine intervention and specific graces. In all, making time for inspiration and a creative outlet, a positive mindset and a zest for learning, improvement and making things interesting is what I want to keep on doing and striving for. This spring break will be anything but boring and everything fun, interesting and extraordinary!

Let the Fish Swim

Last night, I made a video about how to say fish, my fish, and different ways of cooking fish in Arabic. It has a relationship to this blog here hence it's called samakti (samakte, pronounced samakatee) which means my fish. In the Why Samakti section, I explain the metaphorical meaning behind the name and how I came up with it. And if you haven't read it, in a nutshell it pertains to the dealings and the process of struggles and sufferings and letting the growth form the goodness, joy as well as perseverance and resilience.

The fish that I call my own and am holding now is transitioning to the work place. It's been 3 weeks in, wohoo! And it's flown by so far, but just because it's gone by quickly in retrospect doesn't mean it's all been a breeze. Transitioning to the world of work is its own uphill battle and I knew that before starting but one doesn't really know until they are in the thick of it, you know? I've been taking it day by day, hour by hour and forming my work into prayer and offering up pieces of it when I remember and can think straight. I've been blessed with a job, with a place to learn and grow from that is very convenient in distance and overall a good place. But there are still challenges and nothing is perfect or always easy. I wake up early to set a time for prayer and intentions to the Sacred Heart of Jesus, my favorite saints, and scripture to inspire, strengthen and help prepare me for the day ahead. I also am blessed to go to daily Mass which has also strengthened and uplifted me and to give everything to God.

The Gospel for Mass yesterday was very relevant to how I was feeling. The Gospel was about Jesus telling his disciples that if they were to follow Him they must pick up their cross daily, deny themselves and follow Him. I knew my cross was starting the day out right and going to work when it felt heavier. The wonderful priest who gave the Mass yesterday is always cheerful and vibrant and we now acknowledge each other and he always makes time to greet others with a smile.

After praying in front of Our Lady of Guadalupe image and about to exit the Church, I turned and the from a distance the cheerful priest waved with a smile and said, "Have a good day, okay!" It felt like he knew in my heart of what I was carrying and I felt that God touched my heart through the priest's words and optimism. It brought tears to my eyes and I wiped them away as I went to my car and took a few moments to dry them away. I only wanted to stay longer in the Church and pray, contemplate on the on the past few months and all that has happened, all that I experienced and grown through and to just be.

I missed the days when I had more free time and could volunteer, feel more like myself and feed the elderly who were lonely and feel at home. But that was then and God has placed me here in His own timing and knows what He will do with it just like he used all the hard, lonely and uncertain times for a greater good and purpose. Nothing is wasted, He can use anything and He used my teardrops to trust in Him more, and to continue again and again. Saint Juniperro Serra said something along the lines of, "Always forward, never back" and I think that's a good way to be present to what God is revealing to you. So the fish I have now will not feel as slimy or awkward but will bloom with the season and become punctured with lime and spices (as was written in one of my short stories) and swim with the school of fish, and the school of life!

The Places On The Map

This book has become my favorite of Dr. Seuss. It's appropriate as today is his birthday. It's a fun book, with lots of twists and turns literally and metaphorically. It's known to be for graduates and I remember my older brother asking for it for his college graduation.

I read and looked through this book a few weeks after my college graduation and felt the instant connection with all the places I'll go. When I was a private English tutor, I read this to my students and explained the funny, quirky and intricate rhyming language and had them explain their own journey and challenges. Now working in a Preschool, I've been reading it to the children and think about the journey, the process, the struggle, and the highs and lows and the waiting of it all to get to this point. When I read it to them, I sing the words- Oh the Places You'll Go!:) It's been a journey to have the job that I have now, and all the in between.

My time as an unemployed person was a journey all it's own that I will never forget and will always be grateful for. Even while I was still working as a Tutor, I felt the very real challenges and painful seasons of waiting for the next step, figuring it out and being patient and hopeful for it all. It all started simmering in the early Summer when my schedule changed, and things were changing inside me. I felt differently about my work and knew I was maturing and growing in a new way that was uncomfortable and somewhat scary. I had more time on my hands and unlike the Winter and Spring, I wasn't as busy or distracted with a variety of things, and this was hard and quite challenging. I felt ready for something new but not fully, and kept telling myself what was eventually to come but again not fully ready, or sure.

I spent a lot of time alone which I see as a blessing now but it was actually quite painful with not enough stimulation. I tried to create variety in my schedule, and make things interesting and engaging. I think I learned a lot about myself, and grew deeper in my faith, trust and trying to live in the present moment. I also have beautiful memories of this time. Sometimes beauty can also be found in the painful, and not so pleasant moments because they can teach us so much as well as more about who we are and how we deal with things. This season was all to help prepare me for an even harder and lonelier season to come.

In the Fall, there were many struggles and most of it pertained to not having a job, waiting to apply to jobs and finishing up my classes. And again, figuring out how to use all the time I had. When I told people that I was going to become a Preschool teacher, I got positive feedback stating that I would be great and they could really see me as one. This really helped me and encouraged me, and nice to know that others could believe in me and see in me something that I could easily doubt in myself.

 There were so many days of preparing myself for the next step, enjoying the free moments, yet also feeling the weight of my specific cross at that time. Every morning during my morning prayer, I would pray to St. Joseph and Venerable Fulton J Sheen for my future job and to help prepare me. I would put my doubts, my worries and my trust in their intercessions. And praying to Our Lady of Sorrows, I knew she would also intercede for me because one of her 7 promises are 'I will console them in their pains, and I will accompany them in their work'.

I truly feel that God and my favorite saints have answered my prayers and prepared me for now with all of the crosses that were sent my way. I'm in a new season now that has it's own challenges and learning curves, but I am very grateful for these past moments and all that I have learned. I look forward to all the places I'll go!!