Let the Fish Swim

Last night, I made a video about how to say fish, my fish, and different ways of cooking fish in Arabic. It has a relationship to this blog here hence it's called samakti (samakte, pronounced samakatee) which means my fish. In the Why Samakti section, I explain the metaphorical meaning behind the name and how I came up with it. And if you haven't read it, in a nutshell it pertains to the dealings and the process of struggles and sufferings and letting the growth form the goodness, joy as well as perseverance and resilience.

The fish that I call my own and am holding now is transitioning to the work place. It's been 3 weeks in, wohoo! And it's flown by so far, but just because it's gone by quickly in retrospect doesn't mean it's all been a breeze. Transitioning to the world of work is its own uphill battle and I knew that before starting but one doesn't really know until they are in the thick of it, you know? I've been taking it day by day, hour by hour and forming my work into prayer and offering up pieces of it when I remember and can think straight. I've been blessed with a job, with a place to learn and grow from that is very convenient in distance and overall a good place. But there are still challenges and nothing is perfect or always easy. I wake up early to set a time for prayer and intentions to the Sacred Heart of Jesus, my favorite saints, and scripture to inspire, strengthen and help prepare me for the day ahead. I also am blessed to go to daily Mass which has also strengthened and uplifted me and to give everything to God.

The Gospel for Mass yesterday was very relevant to how I was feeling. The Gospel was about Jesus telling his disciples that if they were to follow Him they must pick up their cross daily, deny themselves and follow Him. I knew my cross was starting the day out right and going to work when it felt heavier. The wonderful priest who gave the Mass yesterday is always cheerful and vibrant and we now acknowledge each other and he always makes time to greet others with a smile.

After praying in front of Our Lady of Guadalupe image and about to exit the Church, I turned and the from a distance the cheerful priest waved with a smile and said, "Have a good day, okay!" It felt like he knew in my heart of what I was carrying and I felt that God touched my heart through the priest's words and optimism. It brought tears to my eyes and I wiped them away as I went to my car and took a few moments to dry them away. I only wanted to stay longer in the Church and pray, contemplate on the on the past few months and all that has happened, all that I experienced and grown through and to just be.

I missed the days when I had more free time and could volunteer, feel more like myself and feed the elderly who were lonely and feel at home. But that was then and God has placed me here in His own timing and knows what He will do with it just like he used all the hard, lonely and uncertain times for a greater good and purpose. Nothing is wasted, He can use anything and He used my teardrops to trust in Him more, and to continue again and again. Saint Juniperro Serra said something along the lines of, "Always forward, never back" and I think that's a good way to be present to what God is revealing to you. So the fish I have now will not feel as slimy or awkward but will bloom with the season and become punctured with lime and spices (as was written in one of my short stories) and swim with the school of fish, and the school of life!