Be Not Afraid!

As we finish out this first week of  Easter and continue to celebrate the Easter season, there have been some reflections that I have pondered and prayed about. The main messages and theme for this weeks readings in the Gospels reveals the disciples inner turmoil, confusion and fear with all that has happened in the last days after Jesus' passion and death. They too fear their own deaths, and fear of the Jews, as well as grappling with Jesus' death and what it means for him to rise again.

'Be not afraid!' These are the words that are repeated many times in the Gospels, and not just particularly with Easter when Jesus tells his own disciples to be not afraid. These words also show up when the angel Gabriel tells Our Lady to be not afraid at the Annunciation, as well as at the time of Jesus' birth for the shepherds and onlookers. These words are written and said throughout the liturgical seasons, and God is also telling us in our own lives to be not afraid. Even the first words of Pope John Paul II from when he became pope were these same words, to give us comfort, hope, and deep and reassuring trust.

We all have our fears, doubts, worries, anxieties. And I believe everyone has very similar ones at this particular time in our history, pertaining to the corona virus pandemic. This past week has been difficult for me personally. I am starting to feel more of the weight of not working, not being able to say goodbye and end the school year with my students, and of not being able to be of service at work like I have for the past wonderful 6 months. I also don't know what the future will hold, and have my own doubts and worries what the future will look like with this pandemic still here or not.

I have had my share of anxieties and fear this past week as well, struggling with sleep. The most joyous, beautiful, and hopeful time of the year with Easter has become one of fear for me as I wrestle with light and interrupted sleep and feelings of anxiety and trying not to overthink or let my mind wander too far. When this happens, I go back to Jesus saying, 'Be not afraid' to his disciples, and to me personally. I think about Him in the tabernacle alone at night and being present to Him in my heart and mind when I feel lonely and afraid.

I like to reflect upon the Magnificat Reflection from a few days ago:

You have made known to me the paths of life; you will fill me joy in your presence. And this pattern continues for us. Jesus met them on their way. That is, our Savior comes to us amidst the every day challenges and circumstances of our lives. Mary Magdalene and the other Mary embraced his wounded feet. They hear those wonderful words: 'Do not be afraid.'

Jesus shows his disciples that He is Risen, and they do not have to let their hearts be troubled (Jn 14:27) or be afraid. Even within their fear, Jesus comes in their midst and gives them (and us) peace. I need to keep reminding myself with great confidence that Jesus is always there! We do not need to be afraid with what we are experiencing now as a community. state, country, world, and in my own needs, yet instead to trust and believe like He desired us to. He comes into our lives just like he did on the road of Emmaus and guiding us on our journeys, and like he did when he lead his disciples to a miraculous catch of 153 fish and being present in their lives, so too with us.

One of the books I am reading is called the 7 secrets of Divine Mercy, and is relevant as tomorrow is Divine Mercy Sunday. I have this image in my room of the sacred heart of Jesus with the words, Jesus, I trust in you. May I continue to learn to trust in his mercy, healing and intimate and loving presence in my life. Happy Easter!