A Study Schedule to Keep Me Inspired

 I was recently thinking about 2 summers ago, and how freeing and open my schedule was. I remember how strongly I felt to pursue something of my own, preferably academic and challenging after leaving my bad job. I turned to study the CBEST, the same test I had started to study for 2 summers prior but never got around it again. The last time I had studied for it, I started with the Math section, not my preferred or strongest subject but I attempted with 'the hardest first' type of mentality. 

I took that test December 2017 in the city before the holiday season was approaching. It was a fun day with my dear sister as we made a trip of it, and she drove me early in the morning to my testing center. Afterwards, we perused old stomping grounds of hers such as SFSU, Stones town Mall, getting a Starbucks and enjoying walking down memory lane on some streets of her college years. It made taking that test all the more enjoyable. 

The summer of 2019 I wanted to start with studying the English section. Since I did not pass the Math section (by 11 points) I felt much more passionate and energetic to study and enjoy the process of hitting the books again especially after a very busy, demanding and exhausting time at my former job. Though I wasn't working, and just needed a break and a summer off to regroup, process, heal and relax, I did have a schedule. I would start the day out with morning Mass, and then either go to the library or Starbucks or another café and start studying and reviewing, practicing for the CBEST. I felt committed to passing this test on the first try and honestly, it felt really good to put my energy and effort into something after such a breaking point those past few months. Being at the library for hours at a time was inspiring and really rejuvenating, and also taking my time at Mass and not having to rush to get work on time. 

I was brought back to these memories as I have gone to the library a few times this past week. I'm grateful for that summer as it really prepared me for next job and season. I brought this same notebook I was using for my English testing practice with me today to write down some recipes. And I came across my notes from 2 summers ago. And I forgot that I was beginning again to study the Math CBEST last August. I needed a goal badly, and something outside to keep me going. The school year was just about starting and I knew it was all going to be remote on zoom. My sweet sister had just moved out to her new place, and there was just a lot of changes and transitions happening all around. It was hard, but having some sort of study schedule and goal was lightening the mood. 

And it wasn't just for my own sake that I needed to study and pursue something but I was also thinking of the future in that having the CBEST passed looked good on a resume and perhaps could enhance my job skills with what I was already doing, as I was feeling desperate and unsure of my job/career future. Those studies of the Math section didn't last long and I knew I couldn't force myself to study it like I once did for English. It just didn't feel right or very life giving, so I let it go. It's interesting looking back at that time, these memories. 

And I think another part of why it came back to me was because as I was browsing the classics section at the library and right near it is the section for testing materials or other tests books. I scanned passed an AP World History test booklet somewhat inspired by it, after being in a high school world history this past school year, I've learned and enjoyed it so much more than when I was in high school. So today at the library, I decided to get this (AP) World History test booklet to look through, and relearn some things just for the fun of it. No intensive studying, cramming, prepping, but just for the sake of learning. That's how summer should be. :)