June

 I will always remember today as Ignacio's death anniversary, 3 years ago. I can still remember well meeting him in the morning with our hearts overwhelmed with sadness and grief stricken in our eyes, tears flowing. I was at Mass and got notice from Susie that we needed to go to the hospital in order to meet our dear sweet nephew before he passed away, as his heart was having complications and the procedure wasn't working the way as it planned.

Upon seeing him, my mom, sister and my minds and hearts were filled with worry and were weary for the state and condition of seeing him. He was so little and precious, and I had never seen an infant's heart, so delicate, so precious, and fragile. 

There was so much love in that room with us there, crying, crying like never before and caressing each other as my dear sister was holding her beloved son and kissing his forehead, and saying' I will love you forever'. I have never forgotten that moment, or myself kissing his forehead. We all knew he would go straight to heaven, his innocent and pure soul, just 4 days old.

I know I will not forget June 30, 2020. It was a very hard time, a unique and painful time that left its arrow in our hearts. It was hard to know sometimes what to say or how to continue on with regular life. It was also an adjustment without Santiago when we had him for the month of June. He now recognizes the photo I have in my room of Ignacio and in his house, his dear little brother. 

It's often when I think of Ignacio Rafael on any given day. It could be a reminder, a heart somewhere I see or flowers and especially roses. We share the same birthday, and being his aunt and Godmother holds its significance and specialness. 

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This month of June has been its own adjustment as most Junes can be with the cusp of a new season and schedule. The last day of school was the first of this month, and there has been much needed healing throughout these weeks, as well as questioning, pondering, and processing. 

I haven't always realized how much my mind was spinning and busyness took over me for weeks and months on end. That takes its own time to catch up to! June brings with it its own sacredness and feeling of summer and new possibilities, as well as healing, and rediscovery.

I know Ignacio is interceding on this special day where he entered into heaven, our grandpa's birthday. He is not alone and is watching over us on this journey of life and helping us get to heaven!