Those Formative Years

 I feel that my past is looking straight back at me. Being at the place where camp memories scream of the good ol' days or the 'golden' days and cherished bonds with dear people, my heart could only be nostalgic for what once was. But here I was, standing on the same ground as when I was their teenage age. How time flies! But also how with time things can change, and we grow!

I was a teen, a young adolescent myself leading and serving younger people. And now I'm doing the same but with the teenagers themselves. That impressionable age, where everything seems funny, silly, or even awkward such as silence. Peers and friends start to become more important and influential as well as the media. 

The cabin where I stayed at this location when I was their age was a makeshift cabin- there was a surplus of junior counselors that year and not enough room for us to be in the other cabins. It was a blast to share this small space with my peers and friends. Us girls who would talk a lot, stay up late and also do our duties as Junior Counselors in the evening. (We even had our own counselor to guide and support us...so yeah, we were still kind of like babies.) We were learning the difference between being rambunctious and irresponsible versus excited and responsible- and usually were crossing those boundaries at any given moment. But what can you expect from 9th grade girls?

But now that makeshift cabin has been made into a chapel. When I walked in and we had Mass in there, I couldn't help but think of all the memories and conversations- our sleeping bags and luggage strewn about the floor, our decorations. We were the Jasmine cabin and we had pictures of the Disney Princess on the door. It felt like a slumber party every night for a week. 

While in the chapel for Mass yesterday evening, I couldn't help but think of the symbolism of the rock structure behind the altar. How layer by layer, God forms our lives, our experiences and makes something out of them. It's hard to see the final outcome in the moment, but overtime, you can look back and see some sort of 'structure', if you will. 

Other parts of the retreat center kept coming back to me full of memories, special people, laughter and camp schedules and fun. To be honest, everything looked a bit smaller, granted, I haven't been back for nearly 13 years! But those years were what shaped me, the formative years of friendship, fun, virtue talks, dancing, laughter, games and dressing up silly.

 I kept it close to my heart, as I was reliving it deep in my heart, in my bones. It's kind of weird since I'm not really in touch with any of those old friends...those memories were so pivotal in our growing years, yet so long ago! And maybe that's also what made me feel nostalgic and a little melancholy- life was so weightless and simple, just like seeing it in those teens- they have their whole life ahead of them and are so inquisitive and have spunk with their varied God given personalities. They have so much sparkle in their eyes.