Teacher Life

I feel I've been in a mental fog. It can be hard to get out of it fully, as it takes time to decompress, rejuvenate and maybe even feel inspired. I've never fully known teacher life, only from a distance and sidelines, but one can't know it fully unless one does and experiences it for themselves. 

I've noticed how easy it is to feel overwhelmed, and preoccupied with so many things, to dos, figuring things out and learning as I go. It's an exciting time of growth, learning curves, busyness, and discernment. It's a time to feel stretched and maybe even at times uncomfortable or just merely exhausted, maybe discouraged and trying to keep things that are important for me still existing and lively. 

I hardly can even think about the past season- my job, my thoughts, struggles....though the times that I briefly do (even if a lot of it is a blur), it creates more gratitude for the season I am currently in. Discernment was huge last year and prayers were answered to be where I am now. I do remember feeling so bored, and mentally unstimulated which was challenging on the regular. 

I can't even think about a lot of things while in the classroom, there are so many things up front for my attention. Which in some ways is kind of nice- I'm busy, I'm serving, I'm thinking of others and doing important things, challenging things that require energy and a lot of patience.

Patience, this is something I want to work on. Generally, I believe I'm a pretty patient person but there are some (or many!) moments that really test me. I've been starting to think and realize Jesus is watching and seeing and loving me in those hard and exhausting moments. It helps to give me peace and encouragement. The days and moments where I feel that I am failing, I know I am doing my best. 

Today's Gospel reading and message was a wakeup call. Priorities, faith, prayer, relationship with God, evangelizing, all things I need to work on, as this is a busy season and prayer is even more crucial and essential. Trying to stay off screens, phone use to lessen and instead focus on God's goodness, presence and provision when I feel like I'm just surviving.