The other week my sister was wearing a shirt with a butterfly on it. 'Mariposa' it said, and immediately I remembered and recalled this year was the year of the butterfly for me- it was the theme or the image I felt was symbolic for me.
When I was leaving one of my work shifts, there were cupcakes for teacher appreciation. And on top of the cupcakes there was a decoration, a butterfly ring. I smiled to myself and knew I had to keep it, as a memory on this journey, this hard year, yet also powerful, growth filled and learning curves.
There have been so many moments of seeing a butterfly flutter around and this year, raw aches, growing pains, new seasons and chapters reminds me of what I've experienced, gained and learned along the way.
An image of a butterfly feels more like a journey - a particular season and chapter of growth, discovery and hardships wrapped up in graces and blessings. It's ultimately made me trust in God more and go deeper and stronger in my faith and learn more about myself. The image of a butterfly a year ago felt so fresh and almost uncomfortable with stepping into a new season that I was so unfamiliar with, almost like stepping on ice and not knowing if you will slip first or of the ice will crack and break. It all felt so daunting and I felt so unprepared for it in my mind. (I like to feel prepared and know ahead of time) and didn't know what to expect.
I thought ideally, I would keep seeing the guy who was taking me out on dates. I assumed we would have more time together in the summer to get to know each other. But before any of those ideas fully became a reality they were dropped unexpectedly without any explanation.
Perhaps I am a little too idealistic, but it was also something hopeful, and to look forward to. And as any woman might feel, my 30th year was drawing to a close. It took weeks to heal, recover, process and ultimately know it was meant to be, in that we wouldn't be a good match for each other in many respects. And there were still and are many things I am learning and growing in myself- another symbol of the butterfly- growing, expanding, discovering.
This too is a whole new season- one of slowing down, processing, creating, enjoying, living.
How wonderful!!! I love how you connect this symbol of the butterfly with your own journey, what you were experiencing a year ago and looking through it all to now, one year later!! What a season! Reflecting, slowing down, looking back, remembering, and appreciating the wonderful, full life God has blessed you with.. isn't it amazing??! Xoxox susie
ReplyDeleteAwww yes, thanks Susie!! It's so good to slow down and reflect and taking the time to appreciate it all!
DeleteI love how you adopted this “theme” for yourself.. there is such delicate, unique beauty with each butterfly, just like you! And the metamorphosis you have experienced in this journey only adds to the deeper meaning of the mariposa :) Elisabeth
ReplyDeleteAwww thanks so much sis!! So true- every butterfly is so unique and had its own beauty and story. Another great layer of symbolism.
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