A Shirt Turned Inspiration

 This shirt has been saved for a creative endeavor. I wasn't exactly sure what I'd do with it but somehow the possibilities would come to me. I needed to recreate the memories. The memories and associations to be honest, were often quite hard for me. I wanted to do something with this pain.

The last and only time I wore it was for our family reunion.

It was red.

It was hot.

It was special, yet exhausting.

It was distinct, hard, and stretching my interior.

I felt that I didn't have a purpose, somehow so many discouragements and lies were at me. Comparison to my siblings' lives and how mine looks was rampant. 

I needed to recreate some of my associations and memories and make something beautiful and creative out of them.

I realized my purpose, and God's plan for me at that time was to be of help, service and available for my sister and her family. She had gotten sick and needed some medical attention and later surgery. God also whispered this to me recently of my purpose. God's plans are mysterious but profound.

So, this was the recreation of my t-shirt. That red, sweaty t-shirt no longer looked and felt depleted from the sun and my energy, but God's grace. And I painted it. The paint oozing out never felt so good, like covering up the crumbs with buttercream frosting, hoping none of it will show. 

I wrote it all in German.

It's my sister and my 'sister's' or schwester' language we like to play along in, if only a few words!

A language I have learned, stop, relearned, put away, and then only to pick up once again. It has been my first foreign language I decided to learn on my own when I was newly 21. 

My dear sister put up the German word for 'hello' on the creative board she made for me for my 30th, straight from my old blog.

It's a part of me, it's part of my blood and heritage, if only somewhat distant. 

This shirt is a part of me, having my last name on the back. With every thread woven into my story. It's so much more than just the red shirt for that July day.

 God's plan and purpose always come out to be purposeful, meaningful, peaceful and beautiful.