My Library Story

Library of Congress

 I came across this photo a few days ago. I was randomly looking through my google drive and came upon wonderful and fond memories of my niece's photos she took of my trip to D.C. and here at the Library of Congress. My phone was low on space at the time and so she offered to take photos of what I wanted or poses. After my trip, she sent them to me via email in a document.

It brought back memories also of my Library Science adventure. I was pursuing my master's in library science at the time and trying to get an internship. I had left my job at the high school after 4 years which was difficult to do. I had missed my schedule and working with students. I had really missed it once I entered into my internship that fall. 

I think back at the time as one of pure discernment, a long and arduous journey that was so personal and so solo. It was usually at times hard to describe to others- in all that I was learning and doing. It was a world completely of its own, and most times I felt lost in it. I was inspired, motivated, studious on one hand, yet discouraged, uncertain and idealistic on the other. I had no way of knowing how it would all work out in the end. Would I eventually and finally graduate? Would I use this degree and work in a library setting? Where? When? How? These were my frequent questions in prayer and writings in my journal. It seemed at times so foggy to know the right paths and where God would lead me.

Looking back, I see all the struggle I was going through. A lot on the outside with all the demanding work for a 43-unit Masters degree 100% on online, but a good chunk was also internally. I wasn't really sure or confident yet in my interest, or niche of libraries and how I would fit into all of it. I would easily compare and get discouraged when other classmates in my classes knew exactly what they wanted to do or even were already working in the library field for a couple years and had already gotten the system down so to speak.

 I had never had any library experience, mostly due to the Pandemic and it was hard to get opportunities initially. Also, I had a cush schedule working at a school and knew what I was doing and still had time to carve out Masters work in the evenings and weekends. I was still pretty busy and always had things to do, but I still felt very much outside the library working world. I slowly started to crave it to get some exposure and experience, but I also really enjoyed where I was working, for the most part. I also felt like I was ready to move on. It was a weird and interesting combo of feelings and growing pains.

God really did lead the way with my internship. A story and journey all its own to tell more another time. I had been looking and searching for an internship for about 2 years until it finally happened. And then, I nearly regretted it. I was so confused, sad, anxious and depressed during those 90 hours of clocked and gratefully paid internship. 

I'm so glad looking back I did it, and it happened though. It taught me so much not just about the library field up close, but also about myself. It took a while to process, digest and keep moving forward. 

All's to say, it has brought me to now, a teacher. 

I would never have predicted it!

*To the date 11/7 in 2023, I write this up while in prayer visiting a church. I didn't bring a journal or paper with me and regretted it, but I did find some paper in the vestibule to use and wrote out my laments.

"Dearest Jesus,

You know what I am going through- this season that I am in. I feel there are a lot of pains and crosses, realizations. So many things are a mystery to me- whom I supposed to meet and be friends with, which job I'm supposed to look for and have, and just figuring things out. But I also feel it doesn't need to be complicated- I don't have to search so hard and do so many things. Maybe you just want me to be simple, quiet, silent and obedient, and you will work out the rest. I need to keep hoping and trusting, and see everything that's happening from you, you are here. As an invitation to continue to trust you, to love you even in the pain and the unknown. Jesus, help me to trust in your plan more. "