Summer Hush

The crickets are still chirping in the evenings and the leaves still announce their summer green, but the days are becoming shorter and the sunlight dwindles faster. These are the days of Fall transformation when the sun doesn't feel as bright and the air feels cooler. I've always looked forward to Autumn but part of me doesn't want Summer to end. I love Summer evenings, and the slow pace of time, the air feels light like sifted cream. To prepare me for Fall I want to make a list of things to do and look forward to. It feels fast approaching, and holding on to these Summer days will soon be out of my reach. I still have some things on my Summer list that I want to cross off. This season has whizzed by, but I am grateful for all that has happened, and look forward to what's ahead!

A Spiritual Gain

Finding something that inspires you and ignites the spirit is a profound moment. A few short weeks ago, I had made an Arabic language video. I was having fun with it and didn't care too much about the mistakes that I was making. One of the first mistakes was my CD player causing a couple of books to fall at once. This lead to a large noise and made these books from my bookshelf fall behind it. I forgot about these books and they were soon starting to be speckled in dust. I came across one of them the other week, and I was so grateful I did. I can't believe I actually forgot about it or missed it. 

This book is an older spiritual book, and it explains the real presence of Jesus in the Eucharist and the benefits of this wonderful sacrament. I feel that this little red book has taught me more about my faith in a much deeper way than I have encountered before. 

I am surprised that I didn't notice this book in my bookshelf before it fell. Through my video(s), I have learned and become more comfortable with just being myself with or without mistakes, and practicing and progressing in Arabic. I feel also that this spiritual book has provided a lot to me as well, and am grateful that I made a mistake on my video so that I could find and be more aware of this treasured book. 

An Introvert's World

The chitter chatter, words spilling out going there and coming here, testing if it will be perceived well or not.  What a lot to take in as an introvert. Sometimes I don't realize how sensitive I am until after the fact. Last night, there was a social at my house. In the beginning, I wasn't looking forward to it and only wanted to hide in my introvert- creative place and not be forced into small talk. But as the days got closer, I began to warm up to the idea of being more invested with this young adult social/bonfire night. I actually became so invested that I started thinking of ways to add detailed touches. I had a fun time creating a welcome art sign in different languages on the front door. I created a 40 something song playlist to play throughout the night of various high and low beats, indie and soul alike that spoke to my personality and feelings of summer. I made a baklava dish and I think now I have perfected it. Now I know to drizzle oodles of honey on top instead of making a lemon syrup since I like the taste of the former better. I set up the outside and made the table look more detailed with plants, some candles, a few rosaries and a Our Lady of Guadalupe picture for added effect of a rosary night.

As a melancholy introvert, I deeply enjoy heart filled conversations that are fluid and jump over the small talk by a landslide. However, I didn't receive much of this tall hope last night, and to me if I don't receive this in a certain amount, I become unstimulated and dare I say bored. Watching the fire was entertaining, but doesn't compare to a human interaction, but thanks for the heat, fire.

What I came upon reflection from all of this was that I can do socials but it depends on the interactions because quality always trumps quantity in my book. I learned that I can enjoy preparing and planning an event but I need to be intrinsically motivated and add my own personal touches, personality and flair to it or else I wont want anything to associate with it. If I can personalize something and have a vision for it then I can mentally prepare myself for the social event. I may or may not have had a good time, but at least I made an effort and added touches and subtleties that lifted my spirit and my creative energy even if I wasn't feeling it prior.

Tonight is exactly opposite of last. I am here by myself and soaking in the soft twilight summer air, the quietness and the space that I can call my own. No side conversations, entertaining with fire to feel the mood, or chitter chatter that lingers like the embers. I will enjoy the quiet peace tonight.

Coffee Inspired

It just so happened that as I took my seat at my preferred, cozy Starbucks my dear sister texted me saying that she had just left to go to a Starbucks close to her neck of the woods. Slightly amazed that we both set out to do the same thing at precisely the same time~ soak in the ambiance of our favorite coffee shop and simmer in the inspiration much needed. The smell of caramel coffee beans and others alike, the low dim lighting and the chitter chatter of alluring conversations or far from it, and the pitter patter of instant customers coming in, craving for a personalized cup.

Starbucks puts me in the mood to become inspired and motivated. I always remember to bring my notebook where I jot down ideas, goals, quotes, thoughts and challenges that need to be written down or else they will be lost in my intricate and messy, free flowing mind. There is a large possibility that it could be lost and not retrieved again. This coffee shop's space makes my thoughts more organized since its opposite of how my mind can store information; I need a clean and uncluttered space to dish out organized content.

 I've just recently started a book about the Starbucks Coffee Company and how it made its turn around when it wasn't doing so well, and the means in which Howard Schultz made the pause and rewind for the flowing and successful company possible for its even greater achievements. In the book it says, "Starbucks, a social yet personal environment between one's house and job, where people can connect with others and reconnect with themselves" (Schultz, pg.13).

In the Fall, I used to keep the statement brown coffee holders whenever one purchases a hot drink. I would put the date when I purchased a drink and went to Starbucks. I would stuff it in my purse. I think it was supposed to be some way of showing myself how often I went to Starbucks (on gift cards, of course!) but soon realized I didn't want to keep all the brown cardboard coffee holders anyway. A few months ago cleaning out my wallet from mostly stuffed receipts, I came to find that a majority of them were from Starbucks. I gazed at the dates and locations and I could retrieve the memories associated with them. Who knew that little pieces of paper could portray memories of good conversation, semi- productive reading and work to do, and gathering good tunes from the coffee shops's play list. :)

There have also been times where language has been an interesting topic. Last year on the 4th of July while listening to patriotic music on the speakers and studying Arabic, an Israeli family came up to me noticing my Arabic book and was intrigued that I was studying their language. Another time, a young Indian man saw my Hindi language book and was interested that I was studying Hindi and stating that Hindi movies are the best. And lots of other times, I've heard conversations in Chinese, listening closely for familiar words.

On a older post from a year in a half ago, I wrote about experiencing the ambiance of a coffee shop, primarily Starbucks, titled 'What Happens in a Coffee Shop' https://samakti.blogspot.com/2016/12/what-happens-in-coffee-shop.html I still concur.

While in Vancouver, there were an exceedingly amount of Starbucks, practically on every corner. It wasn't hard to notice how much the British Colombians love their coffee. Also realizing that the border from BC to Seattle is a close coffee neighbor. The next time I go to Starbucks will most likely be in the near future, and I will sip my white chocolate mocha drink or something else, write, look out the window and keep reading about the Starbucks Coffee Company among other things.

The 25 List

  I've been contemplating turning 26 soon and what I've put on my list for 25. A day before I turned  25 last year I wrote down 25 things I wanted to do throughout the year. I thought of some new and fun things I wanted to do and accomplish. I didn't do all 25, but wanted to share the few that I did.

Number 4 on my list was to write a sequel to my short story that I wrote back in March 2017 called Noor's Spring. I had a a lot of fun writing that story and felt that everything came together quickly yet it was challenging and slow to continue writing a sequel or anything creative really. In the recent few weeks, I have created a sequel to the story and although it's not finished yet I plan to finish it soon. :)

Number 5 on my list was to sew a skirt. I didn't sew a skirt but I did learn how to sew a shirt!

Number 8 on my list was make baklava. Baklava is a Greek/Middle Eastern dessert that is sweet and crunchy. The first time I tried baklava was in the 6th grade when my American Iraqi classmate made it for the class; I've never forgot it since. Every time I look in a Middle Eastern cookbook I want to see if there is a recipe for it. Fortunately, one of the cookbooks I own had a recipe for this sickly sweet dessert. The first time I made it was at my brother's place. It was cool because we were both learning as we went, figuring out how it was supposed to be made and look like. We enjoyed our hard work after. :) The second time I made it was much easier and I avoided the mistakes I made the first time. I've learned the recipe is just one way to make it since there are other versions of it. I only want to keep learning and getting better with this kind of cuisine.

Number 9 on my list was to study for the CBEST and take it. I am proud to say that I began studying for this test soon after graduation, and took studying more seriously a few months later with a strict schedule and try to really understand the concepts. I took just the math portion and though didn't pass it on the first try, I am motivated and readying to continue studying again and see how I do.

The street facing the High school where I took the test. It was a relief to finish with the nice view and a day trip with my dear sister. 

Number 10 on the list was to read the Bible and spiritual book in the morning. Before last summer when I would wake up I would say a few prayers but not spend much time processing things and taking things into prayer in the morning. I've never been much of a morning person but decided to give more time in the morning for spiritual reading. I've definitely noticed the difference ever since I've begun more of a morning prayer routine. It's more about being intentional and taking some time to read scripture or any spiritual book, reflect upon it instead of rushing to start the day without much of a thought or a thank you to God.

Number 15 on the list was to create a shirt online. I've wanted to do this for sometime. I'm not sure why but creating my own shirt sounded fun and cool to wear something original. I was inspired reading the book 'The book of Joy' and while reading a quick note hit me and I had to write it down. "Humility is essential to any possibility of joy." And "The word humility comes from the Latin word for earth or soil, humus. Humility literally brings us back down to earth." And my own notes in my notebook, "Humus is the root word for humility, which is also similar to the word human. And hummus is the yummy Middle Eastern dip. Although the words look similar, could they also be in relation with one another?"

Number 16 on my list was to cook a Jacques Pepin recipe. This was a challenge for me to create because he is known for more elaborate and gourmet French cooking. He's enjoyable to watch on TV and makes everything look so easy. Just the other night I decided to make a dish that I've seen him make and I had the recipe in his cookbook. The recipe is called Corn Fritters and they always looked so good when he made them. I'm glad I tried out one of his recipes.

Number 17 was Read 5 classics. I felt that I technically read 5 classics this 25th year. They include 'The Great Divorce', 'Their Eyes Were Watching God', 'To Kill a Mockingbird', 'Man's Search for Meaning' and 'Sophie Scholl and the White Rose'.

I'm glad I created this 25 list to look back on and did a few things on it. I'm not sure if I'll create one for turning 26. I feel that seeing where this next year leads would also be just as exciting. Cheers!

Things I Have Taken With Me

Students, noise, discipline, quotes. This was my life a year ago, adjusting and transitioning to working at an after school program/summer camp and saying farewell to life as a college student. I had to learn quickly how to lead a classroom full of 5th graders, and literally switch my thinking from student to teacher. It was an exciting adjustment, but it was a challenging and exhausting one as well. I was happy to be busy working and be around various people and students, and see where my life was headed next come post grad. On my graduation day there were tears of joy and relief due to all the struggle and deep suffering bottled up for 3 years.

A year later, I am teaching students but I don't have to keep relearning their names. I have the privilege of learning about them on a more individual and personal basis, and I get to decide what will brought to the lessons and what will be learned. While I was in that crowded, noisy classroom a year ago, to keep me inspired and sane, I wrote a quote on the board each day. This quote was by someone famous or well known and if my students didn't know who the person was or what they were known for, I would tell them. I would also give them points for participating and telling what the quote meant to them. Some of the authors of the quotes included, Julia Child, Marcus Sameulsson, Albert Einstein, Indira Gandhi, Walt Disney, Elon Musk, Mahatma Gandhi, Matthew Youlden, Eleanor Roosevelt, Abraham Lincoln among others. After many academic quarters at University of thinking to myself and learning solo, I had a burst of knowledge and inspiration to share with my students.

There are some things that I have taken from that special, delicate, challenging, enriching, busy and growing experience that were seeped in those walls, and in the loud and quiet voices of my former students. I took with me the power of fortitude, knowing myself and knowing when enough is enough. I took with me a white board that has carried over with me in my lessons now. I have taken with me inspiration, new ideas and a closer look into the classroom. I have taken with me memories of those hot summer days, the lining up, the role playing of teacher and juggling various things at once, the kind words and gestures from my students, the very hard, annoying and exhausting days that made me burn not so much from the heat but from the grind of the work. I breathe a sigh of relief that I made it through a year of post grad, and the experiences of last summer and that I'm in another place because I was there first.

A World Map Means A Lot

On my way to British Columbia, I was interested in looking at a world map from a magazine on the plane and all its complexities, intricacies and dimensions. I love learning about different countries and cultures and seeing it all visually. I have been teaching and informing my students about various countries and continents and the interesting facts and information that go along with it. I am happy and grateful to showcase one of my passions in my tutoring sessions.

One of my personal goals was to memorize a world map, and try my best first to label what I already know. I think I got a good amount accurate more or less, but I obviously need more practice with South East Asia, South America and Africa. :)

Labeling an unlabeled map, I realize how large Canada really is. After traveling to Vancouver, I was able to see what it's really like. The natural beauty, the greenery, the majestic mountains, the city life, and the peaceful waters. How grateful I am to experience another part of North America, a place I've been interested in seeing for some time. Traveling gives you another perspective, outlook, and appreciation regarding the place you're visiting as well as back home. I'm happy to be back home, but I very much enjoyed Vancouver, British Columbia. My unique bracelet and some sea shells from this beach bring me back and make me appreciative and thankful.

A Long Lost Friend

As of recently, I have found and met a new friend. It was unexpected as most friendships usually are. I met her about 10 years ago initially, but didn't think much of it. It was 10 years ago that I was introduced through my dear soul sister, and that only makes sense because she knows me very well. I have rekindled a friendship with this new friend of mine. I am very blessed and grateful for it. Her name is Gemma Galgani, better known as Saint Gemma Galgani of Lucca, Italy, and also known as the Gem of Christ.

I have become interested in knowing more about her over the last few weeks. I felt an inspiration, a nudge to read about her life again through a small booklet. Like I mentioned, my dear sister gave me this little booklet about this saint, and since the middle of April, I have reread her story numerous times always gaining many things from it. Although Saint Gemma has been deceased for over 100 years, her life is still relevant, important and dare I say interesting! Hence, why I have been so intrigued by her story. I have also come to learn that we have a few things in common. She died when she was at the ripe ol' age of 25, and I am currently 25 years old. She sometimes had severe back pain and I can attest to my back hurting more than I would like. She was a young woman of faith, and I am as well. Her pitfalls and weaknesses I could/can relate with, and I find her more inspiring and essential to pray to and develop a friendship with. After a few days of struggles and my own falls of weakness, I prayed to her as well as her devotional saint when she was alive (St. Gabriel of our Lady of Sorrows), and the next morning I slept so well and felt very much at peace, knowing that they were interceding for me.

There are a number of things I admire about this beautiful saint. These include her great and deep love for Jesus, his sacred heart, as well as Mother Mary. I admire her simplicity in all things and sacrificing a life of glamour, honor and prestige to that of a simple life full of pain and suffering that mirrored Jesus's 5 wounds and the crown of thorns, also known as the stigmata. I greatly admire her bravery in conquering the devil and the prince of lies and death's attempts of temptation. I very much admire her dear friendship with her guardian angel, as well as a lovely soon to be saint she learned about and had visions of, Saint Gabriel of our Lady of Sorrows. Overall, there are many things I have learned and gained from Saint Gemma. I have felt a connection with her that I only want to nurture and develop, she has taught me many things.

There are many interesting things that I am learning from reading a detailed book about the life of Saint Gemma Galgani. One of them in particular is about another Catholic saint who is more well known than St. Gemma, yet this saint is equally as important as St. Gemma. Her name is St. Therese of Lisieux, and she is my patron saint of the year. These two saints' lives are similar as the books states, "Therese lost her mother when she was a child, had a complicated relationship with death and the desire for Heaven, and replaced her earthly mother with the Blessed Virgin, had a vivid imagination, was different from other children, had a privileged relationship with God, passionately in love with Jesus, desired and loved suffering, died in her mid-twenties, her photographs attest to her beauty, did nothing of importance to her life." These two beautiful saints had similar lives and turn of events that happened to them. I feel that I have a deeper devotion to St. Therese of Lisieux, seeing that her life wasn't that much different from St. Gemma's.

While at a coffee shop this afternoon, enjoying the ambiance, sipping my coffee and reading this moving and insightful book about St. Gemma, I came across something that made me stop and think a little. St. Gemma's guardian angel was always at her side, assisting her and protecting her (which is true for all of us). Gemma couldn't eat, it seemed that her body did not wish it, linking and merging her longings, her needs, her wants to Jesus' own. "And when , after eating, she feels unwell, the angel offers Gemma 'a cup of coffee so good that I was healed instantly."

I don't think I've ever been healed spiritually from coffee, not ever will. However, like this afternoon, I needed that cup of coffee and that inspirational time at the coffee shop to process, to recharge, to think, to learn, to hope. All of these important things I usually need a couple of times a week to stay sane, happy and healthy. It also gave me the reminder of how my dear guardian angel should become more of my best friend and confidant, because he/she (I named mine a boy's name) is always looking out for us. St. Gemma even joked around with her guardian angel, which I found to be cool and amusing.

I am grateful and blessed to learn more about  St. Gemma Galgani's life and journey of faith. It only encourages and inspires me more to be bolder, stronger, and braver in my faith. I am grateful to have rekindled a friendship with a beautiful soul and example.

Memories of Peace

"Peace,  I leave you, my peace I give to you." These words are from the Gospel reading today. I can't help but reflect upon a year ago on May 1st. It was my first time volunteering at my local senior center. It was something that I felt called to do and an experience in which I was longing for for quite some time. I felt a surge of peace while walking into the facility and a wave of welcome and belonging. I knew deep down that this volunteer work was something I was meant for. It may seem like a small endeavor, but to me it was so much more. I knew all the hardships and pains that I had endured throughout the recent months had meaning and the endless wait was worth it. My prayers were answered.

May 1st, I have recently learned is dedicated to St. Joseph. A common name for him is St. Joseph the Worker. Weeks prior to gaining volunteer experience, I had been praying for a job, some kind of work that I desperately needed not just financially speaking but also for the social and mental benefits. I was aiming prayers to St. Joseph because I knew he was a man of diligent and committed work, a man of virtue. On his intercession day, my prayers and desires for work were answered. Though it wasn't a job with money being earned, my needs were met with meeting and talking with new people, learning new tasks and serving others. I was so happy to serve others, and instead of focusing on my needs, the concerns and satisfaction of local seniors were more important, and everyone was better for it. Every time I left after serving and cleaning up and taking off the brown OHK apron, the blue-gray greyhound hat that I borrowed from my Dad and the disposable plastic gloves, I felt a large wave of contentment and peace.

St. Joseph is the patron saint for various causes and places. I was interested to know that St. Joseph is the patron saint of Canada! It just so happens I will be traveling to Canada in a matter of days. I have learned much more about St. Joseph than I knew about him a year ago, and have seen his working hand in my life. I only want to continue to draw closer to him, and receive the peace that I need from him as well as his beloved Son.

Understanding Childhood...in Germany

I've been a student since January, learning about Early Childhood Education/Development. I'm not used to semesters, but I've gotten used to the length and the sometimes monotony of 17 week classes instead of a sheer 10. An undergrad student last Spring and a post grad and flux of other things for this one. I enjoy my schedule. I'm lucky that it's fairly flexible, and it ends up being a bit different every day which is also a rare luxury. I'm trying to appreciate all that I have now, the benefits even if they are not the monetary kind, for now.

My classes are now begging the question of what I have to take from the knowledge I've inherited these past 4 months. It isn't easy, but I think it's worth it. I will try to sum it up for you here.

I've learned about toddlers and their needs, and why they love the word no. The importance of developmentally appropriate practices and what they look like, as well as the quality of a center as well as the teachers and educators. I very much learned about the great impact of media and commercialization and socialization on children and how this impacts them, their thinking, behavior, future and everything else that surrounds them. Speaking of surroundings, Bronfenberner has a theory that various things affect and influence a child such as family, their environment, their friends, their school and teachers, their religious activities, sports and so on. Oh, and there are also other theorists such as Piaget, Erikson. And Frobel created Kindergarten, which is a German word and was started in Germany. Interesting, right? Many things influence the molding, shaping and learning of a child. I've also learned that the ECD field is very important, and interesting, fun, rewarding and becoming more respected as well as diverse in our society.

Whew. That was a lot. And that was just a (very) brief summary.

Some other things that have related to this specific and interesting field of study is a book I'm reading. Achtung Baby is a fluid read. I've only just started and it's hard to put down. The author is a Mom and has moved to Berlin, Germany with her husband and talkative 2 yr old daughter for her husband's schooling and job status. Sara (the author) learns all about the culture differences of German culture and how American she really is! Deutsch parenting styles are very independent and free roaming other than the well known 'helicopter parenting' where the parent literally hovers over their child watching their every move on a constant basis. Germans are not like that, and it's a very think for yourself and be responsible type of culture when handling the art, if you will of raising children.

Sara's daughter goes to a German preschool, known as a kita. It's a free roaming type program where play is the main and most important aspect. Sara has qualms about the kita but becomes calmed and soothed learning about the pros of a play based program instead of a solely academic one in America. Her daughter even becomes fluent in German! Herrlich!

Another topic pertaining to ECD is one that is personal. I will be seeing my sweet 4 year old nephew's school, and I know that he is excited and proud to show it off.  I am also excited to see it and get a tour. It will be cool for him to share this with me but also for me to learn more about it and add to what I've learned throughout this semester so far.

Arab April

April holds some special memories for me. It's the start of Spring and although it can still be rainy, the thought of sunshine, and blossoming of flowers gives me hope. Just two years ago, I was blossoming in my own way. I was dealing with some hard times and depression and was looking for waves of inspiration and sheer distraction from my deep melancholy blues. I had ideas for studying Arabic a few months prior from April 2016 but never got around to it. This creeping and cloudy depression took a turn and needed something to keep me motivated and for the creative juices to continue flowing. Arabic became a strong force for me. I jumped into a new endeavor, and experienced a wave of excitement with this language. Arabic helped a lot in terms of my dark mood which put blinders on my eyes and perspective. It didn't cure me since only God can fully do that, but it helped me in moments of pain and despair.

April 2017 wasn't a breeze or a piece of cake either. I had my share of suffering and growing pains in various ways. It was a waiting game, in terms of graduating, and figuring out the next steps as well as looking for volunteer work and ways to give. I was getting frustrated with the results of how these two waiting situations made me feel since it was difficult not to focus on them.There was a day in April last year when I didn't have class and really wanted to see a Israeli cooking documentary. It was only playing in the city and I persuaded my mom to come see it with me. Luckily, she was open and interested enough so we made a day trip of it. It just so happened that it was the last day of showing, so we were extra lucky. This Israeli cooking documentary ('In Search of Israeli Cuisine') gave me a strong power of inspiration and conviction of my interests in Israel, the Arab world, cooking and especially Middle Eastern cooking and how the surrounding regions are influenced by the food. I recognized a good amount of the food being mentioned in the film and it made me excited that I was in the know of this rich culture of food and cooking. My spirits and hopes lifted and I knew my path was somehow, somewhere linked with Middle Eastern cooking, the Arabic language and all that relates to it.

A year later, I have gotten more comfortable with Arabic cooking and only more inspired to learn more and try out more. I have also been keeping up with my Arabic language learning and only want to improve! I now have 3 Middle Eastern cookbooks and love looking through them and using them. For Christmas this past year, I got the large textbook- like cookbook by the director of the documentary film, In Search of Israeli Cuisine who also has his own restaurant. His cookbook inspired by his restaurant makes me reminisce about the day I saw his film, and also how much I still have to learn about the incredible and influential food in Israel.

So, what's next? I guess more discovering and learning which is always exciting! Here is my other blog that goes through everything Arabic and a challenge and learning process for me.
hummusha.blogspot.com

Right after seeing the film, In Search of Israeli Cuisine