A Christmas Message

It's Christmas Eve and I can recall last year's. Every year I watch the Pope's Mass at Midnight in Rome on TV. It's so special to watch from the other side of the world and reflect upon the Christmas message. One year even my dear sister was present there while she was living in Rome during Christmas time and I remember we were trying to see if we could find her in the vast crowd.

Last year, the Pope's message was about accepting the stranger, the immigrant. With our refugee crisis in our world Pope Francis related it back to how there was no room for Jesus to come into the world, only a small and lonely stable that was hidden and left over. The Pope's inspiring message was related to welcoming others, welcoming the stranger.

I was inspired to hear this message, and have it be related back to our current day. I was thinking of ways to help those in need and welcome the stranger, the refugee. I did some research and found an organization that welcomes those who are fleeing persecution and seeking asylum. In the beginning of the year, I wrote some cards to refugees writing them that they are welcome here and to know of my support, thoughts and prayers for them.

Last year on Christmas Eve, I made a video of how to say Merry Christmas in Arabic. I was inspired to learn and teach this phrase as the birthplace of Jesus was in Bethlehem or somewhere nearby where Arabic is also a spoken and known language. Tomorrow, I will be making an appetizer that is from my Jerusalem cookbook. It's a mackerel dish with orange and sweet salsa flavors to go over the salty fish. I've made it a couple times before and thought it would be appropriate and nice to make it for a pre-Christmas meal.

I just finished watching 'It's a Wonderful Life'. The movie never gets old as it's relevant, meaningful and special each year. Life and the beauty and sacredness of it is the main message. This is also the message of Christmas, Jesus' life is given to us and received into the world.  His beauty and sacredness as a baby makes us draw closer to him, and our hearts fond over him. I am still growing and learning every Christmas of how to grow closer to Christ and revel over his gentleness, his humility and his love.

The Present is Fresh

While on my walk yesterday I noticed the freshness in the air from all the rain the night and day before. The ground was nice and damp and the leaves were being cleansed with water droplets. I couldn't help but notice and see the profound meaning with the nature and this time of year in Advent.

These leaves immediately reminded me of this time of Advent and preparing for Christmas. The freshness, the green is the ever new that Christ brings us, not only during this time of preparing for his coming but always and throughout the rest of the year. There is joy, there is new beginnings, it is fresh because Jesus has made it so. The water droplets on these leaves will fade away and dry out in the sun and soon come again with more rain in the forecast. Just the same, Jesus has blessed us with his coming and will continue to do so the rest of this preparation time in Advent and upcoming Christmas season. He will shine his holy light on us and make us fresh and ever new in his presence.

His grace is sufficient for us. As I saw water strewing from trees and leaves touched by the large quantities of water, I was reminded that his grace is being poured out onto us leaving us filled and redeemed. As I make way to prepare last things for Christmas and the coming of Jesus in the world, I want to be reminded of his grace being poured out onto us, and our needs. It's naturally a busy time of year with shopping and gift wrapping, card sending and cookie baking and preparing food and place for guests. But it's also preparing spiritually for Jesus and knowing his beginning in this world and how we can be ready and prepare for it. He is the true present of Christmas and his presence is in the present, and it is always fresh and new.

Swedish Fish

I have shared my favorite chef's story with various people. With my former students, I became passionate telling them his story. Telling about his background and how he became a chef and his journey. I could tell they were interested enough, their 5th grade minds processing things and trying to stay afloat before their attention spans withered. 'Swedish fish!' One of my boys called out, and his group of friends joined in the laughter. Their love for candy and the Swedish fish candy in particular made them relate my favorite chef, Marcus Samuelsson's story to their sweet tooth imagination.

Samuelsson was raised in Sweden but he wasn't born there and isn't Swedish by blood. He is Ethiopian, but his sister and him caught tuberculosis along with their mom who died because of it, but Marcus and his sister survived and were able to treated at the hospital. They were later adopted by Swedish parents. His upbringing, language and world is Scandinavian and not until much later did he go back and visit his home village in Ethiopia and meet his birth dad, siblings and step-siblings.

The point being for why I brought up a man named Marcus Samuelsson to my tutoring students, my class of 5th grade students and even some friends is because I find his story inspiring, motivating and despite all of the challenges and views people had of him because of his skin color- rewarding and energizing. I really love his passion and drive to become a chef despite some of the hard moments and situations he endured and despite that he waned to become a soccer star but didn't make it. That energy to get back up again when you fail and don't succeed made Marcus even more aggressive and passionate in his interest and love for cooking and combining flavors and cultures together.

 I wanted to give my students a taste of his journey to the kitchen and eventually owning his own restaurant. All of the hard work, determination and perseverance and finally he achieved his dream, his calling of becoming a chef. It wasn't just for my students to hear a little bit about a man they never heard of who grew up in Europe but was African, it was also for me to continue to stay inspired and strong in my endeavors and dreams. This isn't the first time that I've written about Marcus Samuelsson on here. http://samakti.blogspot.com/2016/09/the-summer-when-it-all-began.html 

I just finished reading his memoir 'Yes, chef' for the second time and it really is a page turner. I am excited to cook one of his recipes from his restaurant cookbook tonight. I admire his enthusiasm, energy, eclectic taste and optimism. Even the challenges and the very long and hard work ethic a chef has to put in, and opportunities that he didn't always receive after fighting for it but didn't give up on his dream. I really like his quote, "Sometimes the worst thing that happens to you, could actually be the best thing that happens to you."

Mug!

I was just thinking of this sweet mug from my even sweeter sister. It feels like a snapshot through time, receiving it almost two years ago for Christmas. It says, 'The best is yet to come.' Perhaps I was holding onto something that would change everything and that would help me or rather heal me from my slump and blues. Perhaps I was putting too much confidence in whatever that was.

Maybe the best that will come and what we are hoping for isn't a big and grand thing. I have come to realize that it could be fairly simple, ordinary and even not so grand the way our minds play it out to be. It could be something you see or do everyday and it could still be the best. Maybe you're waiting for something big to occur but really the best is something very different, something minor or insignificant at first glance, but who would want to miss it if it's the best and even important and fulfilling.

I think we are always searching for that thing or maybe even multiple things that will lead us somewhere or change our lives in big or small ways. But we could be looking at this something the wrong way. We could be viewing and going through life with our eyes and focus peeled on something that wont lead us down a path of  fulfillment. Life can be full of surprises which I think often times is more true than false. I see this special mug in a different way than I did before. The best is yet to come is always coming, and it might be something that we least expect. Perhaps we just need to change our outlook and our focus to figure out what that is.

I'm trying to appreciate this time of last assignments and work for my classes, and the eve of falling leaves and orange and red color that backdrops the sky nicely. There is a lot ahead and it's all good, beautiful and exciting. There is a lot that I am grateful for and I am learning to see it as the best, as I look forward to the rest.

The Knock

It feels like the holidays are almost here. I can feel it in the air, feel it in the mood. The end of the year is swiftly approaching closer and the smell of turkey, pumpkin pie and a Christmas tree are right near the doorstep, soon to knock. The knock of guests will come and enter, the knock of generosity and joy and all things that fill the heart throughout the holiday season.

The knock on my heart as of late is more about the next step and preparing for it. I've had some time to really sit and process things, to mentally prepare, hope and enjoy the present moment. Even if some days feel more busy or productive than others, I am continually growing, learning and getting ready for what's ahead.

I have been very blessed with growing and learning so much from former job of Freelance English Tutoring. God knew that my heart was yearning for a job to utilize my skill set for individual's needs and see their progress up close. I was able to call the shots and take control and ultimately lead and plan in the direction where I felt was right. I encountered various students and learned so much from each of them. Some I connected with more than others and some were easier to motivate and tutor than others. Almost all of them I was welcomed into their homes and absorbed into their culture, daily living and native language. The many hard moments of learning solely and not connecting with others in my college classes for my language study (Mandarin) paid off when I could use my knowledge of the language, culture and customs when needed as well as fulfill my role and passion in teaching English as a second language.

I remember earlier in the year right before I was going to go into my student's home, I quickly prayed to God that he was the one who made my job of tutoring possible and I had these clients, some longer than others, but always a few to tutor. There was a reason that I was given this opportunity. If He wanted to take it away, then I would trust Him. I felt this later on, in later Summer that my heart was in a different place with tutoring. I had grown a lot over the Summer and things just weren't the same, my energy and enthusiasm were different and I could tell that I had stopped growing in it. I felt that my prayer earlier in the year had been answered and acknowledged and could tell that my time was coming to a close. I was becoming ready for the next chapter and to focus on other things to help prepare me.

I am continually trusting that God continues to prepare me for the soon to be changes in my schedule with a new job, new opportunities and new challenges. It has been a beautiful season even if some of it has been hard and at times painful. I am looking forward to the celebrations of the holidays, the turning of the liturgical year as well as the new year. There is so much ahead, and I feel more excited, ready and blessed!

Thank you, Stress

Stress. We all experience because it's part of life. But there are different kinds of stress, eustress and distress. The first kind is the good kind and it makes us alive and able to keep on living. I felt stressed after a busy week of various things going on. My mind felt like it was racing and like I was on a roller coaster with timing and deadlines floundering in my head. I decided for yesterday to be low key and relaxing with very few commitments and places to go. Being at home re energizes me  and gives me space to relax and process things.

I decided to go on a  run and being in nature since that always uplifts the spirit, mind and soul. After a nice run, I just wanted to sit on the grass and watch the clouds pass by and be more aware of my beautiful surroundings. The trees are slightly fading into oranges and reds and the coolness of the air tastes like pumpkin spice and autumn looming around the corner. I could finally breathe deeply and literally take in the beauty of nature and 'smell the roses' as they say.

I watched a video from Fr. Mike Schmitz about how stress is actually good for us because it keeps us energized and alive. Stress is something that we should challenge on instead of trying to avoid he says, instead of just trying to get something done and over with. That's how I've been feeling lately and how I've been handling stress for the most part. Stress is good for us and it's a natural part of life.

I remember a year ago today attempting at going on a faraway hike with my sister and meeting up with another group there. We didn't manage to make it to the hike because we were seriously lost, frustrated, tired, and dare I say stressed. We arrived safely home after a disappointing turn of events and then decided to go back in nature on a local hike to calm the air and the fumes.

In the car, trying to figure out how to get home. Frustration, as well as laughs while eating our bagged lunch at a gas station.

On a relaxing, local walk :)

Here are some pictures from this week that lifted my spirit and energized my creative soul.

At my alma mater, and the place I would always go- the library!

I have learned that stress is quite needed and should be looked upon with gratitude, excitement and energy. Stress makes life interesting, I guess. So thank you, stress!

The Beauty of the Veil

I have been contemplating the mystery as well as the beauty of being hidden. Some of the most beautiful summer nights are when the bugs and crickets are hidden yet still make their joyous sound to be reminded of the glorious summer day that was lived. I wouldn't necessarily want to see the crickets in the day time. Perhaps it's better that way since we can enjoy their notes and the beauty of their prime season when the curtains have fallen for the day. Their state of being visibly hidden makes them beautiful and appreciated.


I went to adoration earlier this week. I wanted to sit and pray quietly and reflect upon some things that were going through my mind and heart. At first, I was the only one there in the chapel and it was nice, prayerful, peaceful. I felt that I really needed that time because I did not fully feel at peace after coming from one of my classes. I needed to sit and rest with God and contemplate. The Eucharist was exposed and not kept securely in the tabernacle but I was not aware since there was a covering like curtain over the monstrance where the Eucharist is placed during exposition of the Blessed Sacrament. I only realized this once the person who is in charge of taking the host out of the tabernacle or unveils the host in the monstrance came into the chapel. Jesus was right in front of me and I wasn't aware of His presence until the person drew back the curtain.

It dawned on me that this is what it means to have faith and what Jesus is wanting and asking of us when we are in His divine presence, in front of the Eucharist. The Eucharist is merely a veil of His presence, a meek and humble hidden appearance of bread so He does not blind or scare us of His divine light.  But regardless, He is there. The humble and gentle heart of Jesus makes it so that we can come to Him and welcome us into His loving embrace. This hidden appearance is inviting and it is beautiful.

The late, green summer leaves are slowly turning and changing into their next state of oranges, browns, yellows and reds. Some trees leaves still remain green and intact during the cusp of Autumn, and their beauty and the next season of their life is still hidden, and unfolding. Their last season of growth, marvel and wonder is underway before they all crash to the floor to kiss the icy ground. The hidden beauty of Fall is approaching and slowly unfolding. It is here. I can draw back the curtain.

Looking at 50

I have accomplished one of my goals for this year. Some people encouraged and inspired me through it, while one or more made fun of me for it or thought it was weird. I chose to listen to the positive majority.

The goal was to read 50 books. But just because I can cross it off doesn't mean I'm done for the year. I'm still going to keep on reading and learning, and in the  meantime cross off other goals and challenges I made for this year. I think the sparkle of the Autumn sun and the beautiful shades of the leaves distract us from the near future of the holiday season and the end of the year. I'm just trying to enjoy this season, my favorite season that brings along comfort, food, family time, slower rays and pumpkins and a time to process and reflect more. And of course these days bring about more time to stay inside and enjoy a good book.

I've learned through reading more that I'm more productive and have more creativity and inspiration. I encompass another world that brings about ideas, characters and story lines that I couldn't have imagined or created in my own. I also notice that reading (good) books enhances interesting conversations and helps with conversation starters. Reading has kept up my interests and passions and has allowed me to bring them everywhere I go (I always bring a book with me in case I have time to kill). Ultimately, I have learned a lot about various topics, people and ideas that have become important and of interest to me. Though the value isn't so much of the quantity of books, but rather the quality. Reading inspires, uplifts and energizes me. I hope to continue to read inspirational and thought provoking, turn pager books throughout this Fall.

Fall Lights

This cute and fun piece of wrapping paper brings back a lot of memories. It's from my sister's birthday last year and when I saw her unwrapping a gift, I wanted to keep it. I decided to paste it onto the front cover of my new notebook (as of last year) that is a different shade of green of which I can't think of the name for right now. I was reminded of this when I opened this notebook recently, and use it fairly often to jot down notes, thoughts, ideas and the like. These party zebras brought me back to a time and place last year that is very vivid, and distinct, yet a place that I am no longer in.

Early September and the rest of Fall last year was an interesting time. I was trying to adjust to all the changes in my job but felt the severity of sinking rather than swimming. On the contrary, I was living up the excitement of postgrad and finally felt the weight of it all lifted, as well as behind me. My tutoring freelance was starting to evolve more after a slow spring season and everything seemed just right. I made my schedule filled with variety and I was enjoying every moment of it. My runs were filled with energy and enthusiasm, and that compelled me to have the same feelings for Fall and cornflakes leaves scattered over the ground (which I often take pictures of). This energy made me eager to continue on learning regardless of being a non student, and I was proud to say I wasn't to those I volunteered with to serve local seniors their meals. This motivation reached to a point of interest to learn more about the Holy Land and Israel, and my desire to travel there one day strengthened more. I decided to continue studying Arabic on my own and to help teach myself as well as others, I made videos of myself teaching Arabic. This has helped me to continue to stay inspired and challenged throughout this year too.

All in all, I have very fond, personal and lovely memories of this time of year last year. I'm not sure what this year will bring, but I want to savor and appreciate it for what it is. It's a special, unique and personal time that needs to be lived and embraced. Maybe the zebras with the party hats can help lighten the mood, and God will take the lead.

Summer Hush

The crickets are still chirping in the evenings and the leaves still announce their summer green, but the days are becoming shorter and the sunlight dwindles faster. These are the days of Fall transformation when the sun doesn't feel as bright and the air feels cooler. I've always looked forward to Autumn but part of me doesn't want Summer to end. I love Summer evenings, and the slow pace of time, the air feels light like sifted cream. To prepare me for Fall I want to make a list of things to do and look forward to. It feels fast approaching, and holding on to these Summer days will soon be out of my reach. I still have some things on my Summer list that I want to cross off. This season has whizzed by, but I am grateful for all that has happened, and look forward to what's ahead!

A Spiritual Gain

Finding something that inspires you and ignites the spirit is a profound moment. A few short weeks ago, I had made an Arabic language video. I was having fun with it and didn't care too much about the mistakes that I was making. One of the first mistakes was my CD player causing a couple of books to fall at once. This lead to a large noise and made these books from my bookshelf fall behind it. I forgot about these books and they were soon starting to be speckled in dust. I came across one of them the other week, and I was so grateful I did. I can't believe I actually forgot about it or missed it. 

This book is an older spiritual book, and it explains the real presence of Jesus in the Eucharist and the benefits of this wonderful sacrament. I feel that this little red book has taught me more about my faith in a much deeper way than I have encountered before. 

I am surprised that I didn't notice this book in my bookshelf before it fell. Through my video(s), I have learned and become more comfortable with just being myself with or without mistakes, and practicing and progressing in Arabic. I feel also that this spiritual book has provided a lot to me as well, and am grateful that I made a mistake on my video so that I could find and be more aware of this treasured book.