Black Friday

 Working my first black Friday shift 11 years ago. It was very long, 10-6 pm as I remember. My sister Elisabeth worked at the same store but from 3am-11am, insane!! I had never worked on Black Friday in my life, but my sister was a pro. Luckily, I didn't have to wake up super early, but I did have to go to bed earlier on Thanksgiving night which was hard to do. 

I had no idea what I was doing. I was excited to actually land a job but my 1st day on Black Friday, it was a little overwhelming. Many people were also hired, so I wasn't entirely alone. There was even 1 girl who was working there who was in my history class at the time, and we both had this look on our faces of like, 'woah, I know you!'

I was walking and standing all day in my black flats and what felt like the verge of blisters. I was trying to look busy with organizing or pitting clothes back from racks, but I realized I didn't know where a lot of things went. I also began to realize that retail wasn't really my thing. That day I was literally just thrown into it.

And never a good sign when you get a notice from your boss that you're not wearing the 'right thing' in terms of dress code. I thought I was- I pulled out my purple shirt since it was from that store. But I guess it didn't work because it wasn't a current piece. Lol

I learned a lot that day. And I am proud of myself for sticking it out and doing something different out of my comfort zone. 

The Great Gatsby

 Reading the Great Gatsby again reminds me of my old blog, and the early days of college when I was an English major. I was really into the book and the movie had just come out in theatres. I had read the book for the first time in high school, and thought it was interesting but didn't really grasp the whole story and meaning until later.

Now working at a high school, if I'm in a junior English class (which I love) I will read this book once again- which they are currently reading. It brings back memories of reading it and loving it on my own a number of years ago. And 2 years ago, I was in a Junior English class also and got more from the book and the plot. I feel each time, I get a new perspective and more lessons learned from Fitgerald's classic. 

The 2013 movie adaption is a whole other layer. The book of course is more detailed, but the movie also depicts details from the book. And the cinematography, the soundtrack is a masterpiece all its own. The modern merging with the traditional has a unique, creative and original feel. 

But the story of course is well- tragic and sad, and the music follows along with the melancholy tune.

 There is so much to say- a book I've read at least 4 or 5 times. I used to think my favorite part was the time period- the Roaring 20's. But I actually really like the character development and detailed writing, and the plot, and the illusion of the American Dream all in the mix. Can it ever get old? 

Ferry Ride

 

I came across this photo while looking through old emails. So much has happened and changed since then. We were on a ferry going to SF with my mom and sisters. It was mid-June, but more like June gloom- typical of SF weather. The year was 2013. That was the time when I wore shorts with tights, did too much shopping at Goodwill and was still growing my hair out to eventually donate. 

I was in the middle- nearing the end of my junior College career and thinking about universities to apply to. It was right before I was interested in studying German and right before my cousin's wedding. I was still being stringed along by a lame guy- who was neither really a friend nor my boyfriend- confusing times! I was taking 2 summer classes and had fun outings with my friend Nasira. I was also working at Kumon very part time. 

Sister photo:)

My two sisters were going through their own seasons as well, and I think it's interesting to highlight.

 My dear sister on the left was about to leave for an intensive Spanish language program in Monterey for the summer - I would miss her a lot. And my sweet sister on the right was about to head abroad to Spain as an au pair for the summer. My sisters were leaving and having their own journeys be far away again. We were going through and doing unique things, and yet our stories still collided as sisters, as friends- like that day in SF. 

Beginning Blog Writing

 About 11 years ago to the day, I created my first blog. It wasn't necessarily my own idea- my dear sister thought of it and encouraged me to start one. It was my first semester of college, and I was excited and interested in studying English and potentially majoring in it. I was just as interested in creative writing and story writing. 

So, I thought of the name (and the first name of 3 I gave it) Kingfisher Writing. I saw it as a metaphor for 'gliding' through writing with ease- no struggle or stress involved. It was an attempt to share what I know, give advice if you will. But looking back, mostly it was for me to share, be creative and have an outlet, a space for my ideas and writing.

 My writing has changed since then I guess you could say. I have more varied topics and interests I believe too. So many of the things I've experienced, learned, been interested in weren't part of my life then. I was just shy of 20- I had my whole 20's ahead of me. 

I was even telling my mom today when we visited the gravesite of her parents- I would have more to talk about to my grandparents now or in the past recent years since I have developed more my interests that could also relate to theirs- cooking, reading (about different topics/subjects), college and education, etc... I wasn't immersed or fully knew all my hobbies could entail in my late teens or in high school. 

I'm glad I started that first blog years ago. It has sent me on a blog hunt ever since to continue writing and expanding my interests, content, faith and personal endeavors, thoughts and ideas. Sure, I have notebooks, but these two realms are seen as totally different and used for various methods and purposes, I have found. I never got my degree in English like I imagined, but I learned so much more along the way, and I never thought I would come back to languages as an interest (since I didn't love it in high school- but who does?) 

Ending that blog was like 'saying goodbye' since I had it for 3 years, my whole junior college experience. It felt like a whole new chapter was staying as one was closing. It was the perfect time to further my interests and see where they lead me, like studying Chinese. How will I look back on my time active and writing on this blog??

An image from my blog

A blog post below

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Saturday, November 19, 2011

The Real World

In life we usually don not focus on the here and now, but on the future; what may happen or what could happen. We also find our minds wandering back to the past. Though this is normal, and good for us to reflect on the past and plan for our future, it's not a good way to spend a lot of your time. Try instead to focus on the present and what is being presented to you now. In writing, it's very important to not worry if your writing is any good... it is important however to write what does come to mind without your intuition of checking for grammar, or adding a few metaphors to make your descriptions come alive. When you do this it allows your mind to be free and natural rather than scrambling for words, and taking longer to do so. Like reflecting on the future or present too much, it is a waste of time to do this while writing. To just let it go... let the past go, and hope for the future... hope for your writing to be good and to improve on your mistakes...  just like learning from your past mistakes.


I find it very useful to intertwine your real world with your writing world. This calls for the best writers, because they usually know how to describe something better, than compared to someone who had an original idea that never happened in real life. I find that my characters have similar traits to people that I know in my life, so it's easier for me to create dialogue for that character, and describe how they act based on someone I know. I've read in a book on writing that it's helpful to be aware of your surroundings, just in case you could use some of that material in your writing. Some may jot it down so they don't forget, or if you're like me, to store it in your long term memory. It's always useful to fall back on when in need of an idea, what better way than to use your own life for writing material. I've seen in "I Love Lucy" that Lucy plans to write a novel based on the people she knows, her husband and her two good friends. Also there have been other stories written that are based on someone's dream, which I find pretty interesting.
Another good tip that I try to follow with writing, is not to tell your detailed story to people. I keep my writing secret until someone actually reads it themselves. I feel that telling a detailed version of your story is not the best idea because I've experienced where  I've done so, and felt that my story wasn't very good based on others' reactions and analyzing it. As for me, when I tell people (my family) that I am writing a story, they say "another one!" The writing just keeps coming, and I encourage you to do the same.

Trusting in Christ the King

 Immersed in my schedule, routine, essentially little world or bubble- that's what it felt like recently when I went to my niece and nephew's birthday party. It was great to see family and eat good pizza and delicious birthday cake- but something felt a little unsettling. Maybe it was the busy, loud environment, or the transition from one environment (and transitions I'm not normally good at with groups.) to another. 

I can feel so caught up in my own thing- and with a big family, and so much going on and taking place, it's easy to feel a sense of isolation- how do I, how do we fit into each other's lives when it all looks so different? I no longer share similar stories with my siblings and no longer living at home together, so perhaps that's the distance it can feel.

It could also be that I'm in this phase of figuring things out, 'transitioning' in my mind about what the future will hold, the last remainder for my MLIS program and how thing will look like, appears daunting to me. I guess just the unknown can make me fearful and not necessarily like I'm not excited, but it can feel like a blank slate that I can't relate to. 

I'm very much in the present, so it's hard to fully prepare and envision what things will look like. I just don't know. And that's okay, and it tells me that I need to continue to give it to God and trust. As the verse says, 'There is no fear in love.' (1 John 4:18) And why should I worry, be fearful or have any of those feeling that don't come from God? 

Today is a perfect feast day, a wonderful and beautiful reminder of God's power and provision- Jesus Christ our savior and King- Christ the King. I love this solemnity, this time of year- right before the end of this liturgical year and on to a new one, right before the start of Advent (one of my favorite liturgical seasons.) 

There is so much beauty, peace, stillness, joy and treasure to behold with the coming and anticipation of baby Jesus entering into the world. How much I need this reassurance, this reminder when times feel more challenging and harder, suffering simply because I'm not trusting or not look at the right place. 

One of my favorite images of Christ the King

A Break

 This is the time of year. The time of year for reflection, slowing down, giving thanks, preparing and staying present. Veterans day feels like a milestone in the school year. I remember the feeling well last year, feeling so burnt out and ready for a change of pace, scenery and some needed inspiration. I felt similar this time around- mentally drained, almost like a heavy fog. It's been hard to catch up, only with the time of slowness, attentiveness to the present, silence can really help.

Yesterday on the way to work, I realized the sheer value of silence. To pray the rosary, but then to just think, and observe of the details and beauty around me like the vibrant orange leaves, and other things that can be easily taken for granted. I realized the peace that came around me from just being still, being present. How refreshing! 

Today, going to Half Moon Bay and just being immersed in the beautiful scenery, being near water, fresh, cool air and being in a quaint and slower paced area. These little things can bring about change- change for refreshment, reflection and relaxation. How much I want and need to process more through writing, reading, and most importantly prayer and continue to prepare for the upcoming season- Advent and Christmas!

This Week

 There were some hard parts to this week. Mostly, just getting out of bed and waking up in the morning. It felt like I was dragging myself. I was needing and desiring a break from routine, that change of scenery, schedule; practically everything since it can make feel like I am on autopilot. 

Something inspirational this week was when a student in a class I'm in was showing me her road trip with her family over the summer. They drove many miles up to Wyoming and Montana and back around again to California. She showed me some of these photos of the wilderness, the beautiful greenery, the trees, lakes. It looked so refreshing and it made me think how much I need a break- even just to be in nature! I thought about our time traveling to the Central Coast over spring break 2021 and how enjoyable, rejuvenating and refreshing that was. 

Another nice highlight was a student coming into one of my classes and wondering why I wasn't in his class anymore for tutorial. He missed me and complained that the class was so quiet and boring. It was sweet to see a familiar face from last year and could tell he had grown up a bit too. I made it fun last year with games so the time would pass faster, and it helped me as well. 

Reading St. Faustina's diary, I thought it was a compelling and relevant part. It was like we were experiencing the same thing. "I do not know why I feel so terribly unwell in the morning; I have to muster all my strength to get out of bed; sometimes even to the point of heroism. The thought of Holy Communion gives me back a little more strength." 

Beauty

 I thought of St. Mother Teresa recently. I remember viewing a video clip interview of her. Upon rewatching parts of it, I was amazed by her beauty, her beauty of spirit, simplicity, humility, devotion and love of God. It's not too common when you see such a beauty that is difficult to pinpoint but is still very much present.

Those who do not know about Mother Teresa, have never heard her speak, or read her books may upon seeing an image of her think she's old, frail, and ugly. Her skin is darkened and all wrinkled, and she doesn't bestow the standards of beauty upon which our world so highly strives for and values. However, beauty of heart and of spirit are a different matter that one cannot fake or pretend. As Venerable Fulton Sheen states, "Beauty on the outside never gets into the soul, but beauty of the soul reflects itself on the face." 

Yesterday, as I was shopping for shoes, I saw a brand from Jennfer Lopez of high boots. I didn't know she had a shoe brand. On the box was an image of her, of course she looked beautiful with her face all made up. But I thought back to Mother Teresa, and her faith filled spirit, her simplicity of spirit and deep love and trust in God- how much more beautiful is that for our world and in God's eyes! 

Remembering St. John Paul II

 Yesterday was St. Pope John Paul II's feast day. I have written about him before but wanted to include some photos I love most of him throughout his papacy. I admire him so much, his story, witness of faith, and love of Our Lady. 

There are so many incredible things about him- the many languages he spoke, the most traveled Pope, and beautified and canonized the most saints throughout his papacy, he established World Youth Day, living through Totalitarian regimes and was pope during the Fall of communism and the fall of the Berlin Wall. He also wrote many books and published and taught Theology of the Body. And these are just the tip of the iceberg. 

Whenever I see a photo of St. Pope John Paul II, I usually think of my nephew, as I think he's a look alike to St. John Paul II.

Make Up!

 

Make-up. It's something that I always enjoy and look forward to doing. I would say I care more about my make up being done than my hair. I'm not a perfectionist but would consider that I look more 'awake' if my make up is on than if my hair is styled. If I have extra time, then I will do my hair and enjoy the extra time it takes.

Somehow, I am inspired by make-up. I don't like the overdone look, and there is a feeling of 'too much make up'. I still like looking natural and like myself, but also like to create a look that looks nice. I bought these eyeshadows right before my sister's wedding, and I like the enhanced colors of gold shimmer and some darker shades. I love to blend them in. I was planning on doing her make up for her wedding, and did a trail run last year which was fun. Although I didn't do it in the end, I've learned that make up is my natural interest when it comes to beauty (and fashion too). 

I guess I didn't fully realize it until wedding season was upon us. In high school, I got more into doing my make-up and did it for dances, Junior Prom and Senior Ball. I could relate to a woman who I felt somewhat similar to, and my sisters knew of, and she was also into makeup. I was inspired by that too. 

Smiles

 

This was the day I visited my dear sister on my day off. This a picture with my sweet nephew and God son. He is now 8 months old. If you look closely, the bracelet I am wearing is from her- and now we have matching journey bracelets. :) My nails aren't painted since I was giving them a needed a break and liked the natural look for the time being. 

We enjoyed coffee at a favorite coffee shop, and shared a lot, and always a deeper part of our hearts, our stories. It was a busy week, but it was worth it to see her with her two growing, beautiful boys. I'm so much in my schedule, but to be inside the world of a mama is a whole other planet it feels at times. But I'm so grateful I can help, observe, learn, and share what I have with my nephews and sister. 

To see this little boy smile is such a joy and a sweetness of a baby. A baby growing up, and how I am growing too- in everything- my job, my Masters program, my spirituality, and even my hair! Yes, finally my hair is long again. I don't think about it much, but when I notice it, I tell my past self, 'See, with time it grows, and things do eventually change.'