I remember

Do you ever have your mind go back to a year ago? I think mine draws more to the past rather than the future. My memory somehow remembers all the little details from the days of yesteryear. When I think of a year ago, I instintly get pulled back into my old job. All the memories flood back into my mind, like a strong river that twists and churns and flows, creating a wet land for all the fish and people trying to walk in it. Time can make things less painful and almost more enjoyable to look back on compared to the recent past.

Now I may have scared you, since I mentioned painful. But isn't it true that pain can have a negative feeling with it as well as a postive one, in retrospect? My old job did both for me, and I must say that I am grateful for the experience.  A job that can give you stress, pressure, and anxiety is never a good thing, yet you learn what to do and how to cope with it in the end.

As a creative person, I need inspiration in my life, I breathe it, and without it I wilt. This job didn't have an ounce of that, and I could see that pretty qucikly, working there day in and day out. I must say uniforms are not my cup of tea, especially the kind that is from head to toe. Talk about no creativity! Personal space is huge for me. Again, this job didn't cater to that either. I felt like I was a fish living in a fish bowl, with all my coworkers around me, not much room to maneover around. The customers inside could practically see everything, as well as the ones outside. I think I have some more sympathy for fish living in a fish tank.

But I think one of the worst things was the eternal awareness of time. Yes, time. Clocks, minutes, break times, moving fast never slow, and getting there on time as well as ready within a matter of minutes is something that always gave me extra sweat that I couldn't handle or for that matter wanted.
Name tag, check. Hat, check, Hair pins, check. Hair up and pulled back, check.   Apron, check. Shirt, check. Pants, check. Belt, check. Socks, high white socks that is, check. Large pin, check. Shoes, check. Make up natural, check. No big earrings or rings, or jewelery for that matter, check. Nails clipped short, check. No nail polish on nails, check. Smile, check.

Dreading to meet face to face with all my cowotkers and male bosses was something that gave my hert an extra beat. The encounter of doom happened right when I walked into the work environment and said goodbye to my comfort zone for the next 6 hours. Joy. Please God help me get through this day, this moment. St. Joan of Arc, Isidore, and Raymond, give me the courage and strength that I need for today. It always helped me, even though people could read fear in my eyes, my voice, and my actions. But I didn't care, I just pulled through.

I'll stop here for now, more to come soon. Thanks for reading!