Farewell the days of January

The last day of January, the 31st and I am glad it is. It has been a long and winter like month that continues and goes on like the bare branches on the tree. There is beauty and rest in this first month of the year. It can be peaceful and joyful, cold but full of warmth in one's heart. There was beauty in this month for me but in hindsight more so. Suffering calls us to beautiful and joyful lives and that is what this month taught and showed me. It started off somewhat rough with the unknown of the job world, medical paper work and finding time for all the things I like to do before the busyness would come over my head like a snowstorm. Plans feel through, disappointment and depression crept in, and a wave of uncertainty and holding on to hope and trust kept me afloat.

I suddenly missed a year ago and the comfort of it all. All of a sudden life and reality felt very uncomfortable and challenging. I could remember so vividly what I was doing, starting my path of ECD classes, busy and thriving with tutoring , taking an exercise class, learning how to make baklava and continuing to study Arabic and make Arabic language videos. It felt so nostalgic looking back, things were really good, and I was learning and growing but not in a painful way. The songs that I listened to brought back memories of driving around as I drove a lot and needed some kind of inspirational CD which included Arabic songs and lessons, Ben Curtis audios, Emily Wilson audio, some random misc music and Liz Forkin Bohannon talking about the journey of her company Sseko designs.

December 26, 2017

Baklava for the first time! Jan. 2018

With silly niece, getting ready to go to Starbucks Feb. 2018

I was trying to find this kind of positive and inspirational energy again to keep me going. On New Years Day the priest who gave Mass talked about in his homily how God is always with us whatever we are going through and we can seek comfort and trust in that. Afterwards, my Mom and Dad and I went to Mt. Diablo and went to the very top summit. It was a fresh and breezy day with a lot of visitors but a great way to celebrate the new year. I couldn't help but think of Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati who loved mountain climbing and being in nature. 'To the heights!' was saying and he thought the higher one goes up a mountain, the closer he is to God. Soon after New Years Day, I was so  much on cloud nine or on a peak of a mountain but in the valleys and slopes only looking up to see and wonder what it would be like to arrive at the top.

Jan. 3 hike with Sibs!

Of course, there were joyous moments this month, beautiful and slower paced. Some days were harder than others and some were easier to see the blessings than others. I was able to babysit and bond and spend time with one of my dear nephews. I have seen him change and grow quickly and get to know his personality and temperament more. Being with him and holding him and seeing him smile at random things or softly and soundly fall asleep has made me enjoy the small moments and trust that God too is holding me, and has His plans firmly in His hands.

I was able to continue attending daily Mass which has been a real gift and blessing as well as Eucharistic Adoration. I continued to stay inspired with cooking and create dinners that turned out well. Being in nature and going for walks and runs has been and is important to me. It rejuvenates me and helps me see the beauty in sometimes very fine detail like a bush, cloud formation or the color of the sky or the bare trees that create silhouettes in the dusk time. Starbucks was also a source of energy and inspiration that uplifted my mood and spirit for a time and helped me focus on things that inspire me to re energize the dull and gray that would sometimes take my mood.



My dear sister, brother-in-law and I and nephew tried out a Persian restaurant that looked enticing for sometime. We recreated eating at one after our first taste 2 years back. The first time was for an assignment for an Anthropology of the Middle East class. And the funny thing was that I saw my former professor for that class at the restaurant the second time. Memories came back to me and I remember always looking forward to his class after my long break and feeling inspired and learning new things pertaining to the Arab culture and world. Lastly, my newest niece was baptized this past weekend and that was exciting and joyous. God's grace and gift of faith has been bestowed on her, and may He continue to restore me with His grace so that I can see all His gifts.

Jesus, I trust in You.