Coming Home

 Upon getting out of the car and getting my belongings, I gave Steven a hug and a goodbye. We had experienced so much together in this car, this space for many hours, days at a time. And now it was all coming to an end, and we were about to live our separate lives in separate places and in different states. I didn't feel overcome with emotion like I thought I might but I did feel melancholy, and just processing everything the past few days. 

I wished him luck with the start of his job and training, and I could tell a twinkle in his eye was a bit sad too that I was leaving- his older sister who had accompanied him on this trip and seen all the new sights and excursions together for the first time, and helping him move into his new apartment in Houston. It would be a transition for us both, and I was prepared for that.

I was grateful at how calm I felt entering the Hobby airport. I hadn't flown in about 3 years, but luckily had enough exposure of flying alone. It went smoothly and I was grateful to have gotten a window seat twice, and see the vast land and mountain terrains that we had driven by just a few days prior. But it felt like a whirlwind. I was still processing everything, all the scenery, the many hours my brother and I had together everyday, seeing the Haslams in San Antonio and how special that was, even if only for a few hours. I was thinking more about family. I had seen family, was in contact with family via WhatsApp for updates and pictures on our trip, I was with family the weekend prior celebrating my brother's birthday and milestone of getting a job and moving away. 

The various locations of family was also interesting to think about. Most of us were in California, and with my sister's map she had placed tacks where each of us were living. Steven would be the second addition to family in Texas. Once I came back home after a very busy and constant, beautiful yet tiring, memorable trip I felt different. I didn't feel so much 'loss' or adjustment as I thought I would with Steven not here and not in California. Instead, I have felt the shift of wondering where the future will take me, and where will be my place to call home? I have seen all of my siblings' lives move and uproot to their place of belonging either for a season or for a long time. The saying 'bloom where you are planted' has literally been the motto, and of course its been interesting, beautiful, exciting, though it hasn't always been easy.

I have seen so much transition and change in a years time. It has been a lot easier than it used to be, and something that I have accepted. I know that I can learn and grow from it, and that it too is a season. I also know that its something that God is preparing me for, for the next steps, the next jump or move. Sometimes our very crosses, challenges, and pains can be a blessing and a gift. I am realizing how I can continue to be a gift for others, to family in my free time, availability, but also in my listening and presence. I know God has me here for a reason, and has given me these learning curves and transitions as opportunities to trust, grow, as I continue to follow the plan He has for me.