Fulton Sheen Spiritual Inspiration

 Fulton Sheen. Amazing, intelligent, comical, wise, and captivating speaker. While I was doing my homework yesterday, I thought of listening to him, as there are his talks and radio shows on YouTube. I was soon immersed in his words, so wise, beautiful and talented explaining things in a concrete way.

 I need to pray to him more, as I have always found him to be dear to me, and really love his words and writings in his books. Most especially his strong, spiritual presence in a world that feels more and more Godless and a world more confused. 

And as being in the classroom, I can think of him as he really knew how to captivate an audience with his wisdom and truth. 

Reliving 16 Memories

 

This book is sooo good, this series is also really good! The first time I saw this book was when I unwrapped the wrapping paper for my 16th birthday and saw this cover. It was a gift my oldest sister gave to me and pitched in by my other siblings. It was an alternative to the Twilight mega saga that was a hit at the time. I never heard of this book called 'Waking Rose' but seemed like a good book from what I heard. (And I can say that it is, now looking back. I watched the first movie of Twilight with some of my siblings a year later, and it really wasn't that good.) 

I remember I started crying though, not because I couldn't read the Twilight book my mom already bought for me but because my empath sensitivity was kicking in- it felt like a waste, the money my mom had spent on the Twilight book, and I felt bad. I wasn't overly sad about not reading that series, as I'm sure most 16 year olds wouldn't be. 

I came across this title and author again during quarantine and I was working alone and remotely. That was when I would look up books on a regular basis to pass the time at work and see which ones the library had. I tried to remember the author of this one, and eventually found it in my Google search. It wouldn't be until earlier this year that I was interested in picking up again. I remember I had read 'Waking Rose' and have vague memories of it, probably gave it away sometime in my late teens.

 I started reading the first book in the series (Waking Rose is the 3rd book) this past spring and immediately couldn't put it down. The author is a great writer, and even more at plot and mysterious plot twists. I love that she's a Catholic author and incorporates faith into her stories, it makes my mind come alive, it feels realistic but also imaginative- I've never read anything like her work.

I recently finished the 2nd book (Black as Night) and started reading Waking Rose. I remember glimmers of the beginning from when I read it when I was 16, but I may not have picked up on everything or fully resonated with things. For instance, the main character in this book older sister gets married and she is the maid of honor. My older sister just got married and I was the maid of honor. In some ways, it felt like I was reliving my sister's wedding. I just loved Doman's description and plot. I may have missed that when I first read it as a teenager. 

So, I feel grateful and inspired with reading her works again, and that in some small ways I can relate to her characters- Blanche, the older sister who is more timid, cautious, and sensitive, and Rose, who is lively, creative, free spirit like and adventurous and studious. I look forward to continuing reading!

Reflecting on Growth

 

First week of school, from this picture. It feels like its own adjustment, with a new teacher, new classes, and some new faces of students, some familiar. It feels like a new level of responsibility, but one that I was ready for. I never guessed I would be here again. A year ago, I was craving for something else- a different job, environment, something new! But here I am, sticking it out after a rough, long, intimate, challenging year that taught me so much and one that brings back so many memories, it often comes with nostalgia.

I miss some of the students I used to see and help them with their work. That classroom of 3 years, with the spectacular view of Mt. Diablo, my desk, just all the memories will remain there, in those walls, that classroom- K 101. It made me who I am at the job, and those days working alone, and mostly very isolated and lonely, I won't forget either. 

I think about last year a lot. I liked my schedule, but I remember not feeling very busy or accomplished. It's always something I didn't like, but I had the comfort of my teacher and classroom to help me through the hard parts. Last year prepared me for this year, and I'm finding what works for me again, and now with a busy schedule in tow, the weeks feeling fast, and this introvert is feeling overstimulated. But I am grateful for some things that are new, different that felt so much the same and stagnant last year it was humbling and painful at the same time.

I did this hairstyle, wanting to do something new with my hair. And now that my hair is (finally) growing out! That was something that I craved a year ago- my long hair. 

Yesterday, the first in-door rally in 3 years. My first rally I went to was in doors, and it brought back so many memoirs from high school that I didn't miss. I was just a few weeks into the job, and I will always recall that special feeling, and just really liking my job and grateful. Fall was slowly coming, and the lighting and colors changing on trees were warmth and beauty. That rally came to mind yesterday, since those Freshmen then are now Seniors. They were running into the gym with so much pride and excitement, I can remember that day so well when they were Freshmen and seeing those Seniors then taking over the gym with their noise and number and dominant energy. 

Where has the time gone? I feel like I've seen so much being at this job, but mostly I have experienced a lot of growth, internal growth and change that has led to now. I never knew why I was meant to come back after last year, but I felt God wanting and calling me to be, and here I am. I can only reflect upon it all. 

I find it somewhat providential and somewhat funny that my new classroom I'm in (and my new desk) was that teacher's from last year. She was the teacher who I always knew to be as strong, strongly opiniated, dominant energy, with a rough and tough tomboy like demeanor, sporty like. I never talked with her, but she talked with the former teacher I was with. I overheard their conversations. And then one day, I saw she was pregnant last year, and I didn't know she was. Somehow, I felt off. It made me feel overwhelmed and sad- again, another person moving on with their life in a place I desired. It was hard, it was so hard with a raw feeling that I had to write about it in my journal. 

Overtime, heard about her strong opinion about Covid and the vaccine, and realized we agreed on those issues. I didn't feel quite so alone though I never fully voiced it- I was always the quiet one, in the back and felt pretty much invisible, right? After her baby shower at work, and once she came back from maternity leave, the vaccine and covid topic came up again, and we talked about it and connected. I actually felt seen and heard, and I felt supported with something that felt pressured. 

One day, she brought her baby daughter to work. My teacher told me about it, so I went over to her classroom, and she went back to where her daughter was since her 2 younger sisters were taking care of her. I got to meet and see her sisters, reminding me of my own dynamic and look alike with my own sisters. 

I find it was quite a 180 throughout the school year with that particular teacher, and we were able to connect a bit more. And now, I'm in her old classroom, and it reminds me of how much I've grown!

What Happened on the Assumption of Mary

 I remember a year ago well. It was sister day, and we were meeting up in Davis, a city I had never adventured in. It was the feast of the Assumption of Mary, a Sunday. I had gone to Mass the day before for a new priest's ordination to his new parish with my parents and my brother and his new fiancée. 

So much was spinning in my head and twisting in my heart. It was right before the day when work would start up again and I didn't feel ready mentally at all. I felt too old for it, outgrown and desiring something else- something to do with library science, something that would make me grow and learn! Little did I know that I learned so much last school year, wasn't what I initially expected, and it wasn't at all easy, but it was worth it. I was leaning into Him and trusting in His will. Something kept feeling like I should stay, that it was part of my journey. 

I learned so much about trusting, and humility. So many things kept going back to these things- feeling overlooked and forgotten at my job, feeling less than, outgrown in so many ways, and feeling inadequate. And definitely feeling like an onlooker in others' lives, always watching on the sidelines and feeling the same, again and again.

But with this sameness, this monotony and dead-end that somehow kept working week after week, I found joy because I knew I was doing God's will and it was what I was meant for. There was joy because I felt close to Him in the suffering, in the lamenting, the tears, the unstimulating days, the embarrassment, the early mornings at Mass. 

There was a sadness to start. There was a lot of sifting through in my heart, in my prayer. There was so much in my mind, I very often felt stuck in my thoughts. I would remember the school year prior and though it was severely challenging, isolating and extreme in many ways, somehow it was doable with God's grace. I would look back to help myself in the present. 

After sister day, I talked more with Susie in front of our cars parked in front of our sister's house. I started crying, lamenting about what was ahead and how I was feeling. Her listening ear was consoling to the bitterness I was experiencing, the cross I was holding. "Trust in God, He can do anything He wants" she would say, and I remembered that, and kept that in the back of my mind.

As I was packing my lunch for the first day of school, Stephen and Ali were over and it was about the engagement and wedding details. I didn't feel at all ready for work, and slowly put things together for my lunch. I got an email from Susie, forwarding a written expert she wrote exactly 3 years prior and the unique, rough, sensitive and suffering season she was experiencing...as I was reading her writing, I could feel and relate to all that she wrote at that time. I didn't feel so alone, but it was still a hard season to enter into. 

I accepted, and entered into God's will, and let Him lead. I went to Mass the next morning, and running a bit late for work and realizing how off I felt- it didn't feel/ I didn't feel excited for the first day of school, what was wrong with me? As the day continued, it was better than what I thought, and I was glad to be back.

I didn't know I would or even could make it through another school year. But again, God's will was pushing me through and it all turned out to be so. I've learned to listen to that, if nothing else!

A Letter To Myself

 Dear You,

Today is a transition. A big transition, but with that comes with it a lot of grace, learning and growth! This transition comes with forging a new path, all your own without your sister by your side to share with. The past 6 in half years you had living together at home brought fundamental memories and opportunities to grow close, strengthen each other when things were hard and support one another when life threw its curved balls. 

Today, August 14, 2020 you will not necessarily think of all the challenges ahead or the many, many moments when your mind will go back to the past to reflect, become nostalgic or just simply miss those days together. August 14th feels bittersweet in some ways, and almost too much to gulp in the moment, since you will have a lot to process later. It has been so busy, mostly keeping yourself busy in the wait and watching the busyness and to dos for Susie. 

Its hard to fully know how things will look since all you're focused on and helping with your Mom is for Susie to get acclimated in her new apartment- the same one you all saw just shy of a month prior and fell in love with. You will help unpack her things, most especially her kitchen tools and things that will be necessary for living. Mom and you will go get dinner to go at the Habit to bring back to her place and enjoy a first meal together, you relaxing on her couch and other chairs pulled up for Susie and Mom to sit on. You will have a lightheartedness that will cover up any bit of sadness or pain and you haven't processed that yet either. Not until you see her big room she used to live in all empty, and miss everything so deeply. You've seen it all, and you will wonder where are you supposed to be, how are things supposed to look for you?

You cannot wait to start work up again, just waiting a few more days until its approved for your position. You are so ready to actually start 'life' again, and live more normally, on routine, and something outside the house. Little do you know that that will come with its own pains, unknowns and discouragement. 

Colleen, don't underestimate the plans God has in store for you. It may seem that God is hiding something from you, or you're just in the wait to figure out what you're supposed to do with your life, but there's a reason for why you're feeling the way you do. You're simply being prepared, and God is with you and leading you. The notebook you write in used for your prayer on the cover with roses says, 'Trust Your Journey' and I don't think that's a coincidence. 

It's okay to feel sad, very melancholy sometimes, or all the time. Those walks and runs around the neighborhood will remind you of Susie, listening to songs from Audrey Assad will make you so nostalgic of the past and think of Susie's hard and suffering times, it will feel like a healing remedy for you. Going to Mass at St. Michael's will bring back the time when you went together briefly right before her move, and at times feel so alone and walking alone. You will feel called to go there, a place of inspiration and hope- a new encounter with a parish (one that you both got confirmed in many years before). 

Language will be a bedrock of hope and inspiration for you. You stop studying Russian and move to French in which you hadn't studied since High School. You will gain encouragement and spiritual enrichment from learning about St. Zelie and St. Louis and the Martin family, and this will lead you to write up a short story. 

You won't realize it in the moment Colleen, but the suffering, the pain, the deep melancholy and rawness you feel inside is only leading you closer to Christ, to your faith and to making something beautiful, meaningful even if you wish things were better, easier, lighter and more clear. You will feel dead inside like one you've never experienced before. The image that comes to mind is the heart with cracks, brokenness that only grows and sprouts out blossoms and flowers in the end. This image gives you hope and encouragement that the suffering isn't for nothing. 

Being alone again at your job will feel like a heavy cross most days, but going to Mass in the morning will make it feel lighter and remind you that you're not alone. You will struggle with discouragement through and through and try to persevere when its hard. Some days you wont even be able to put a word to it, it will just be so hard, and so deep. You will easily cry when you're praying at the church after work or in your room. 28 will feel like a blow, like the worst and you can't wait for it all to end. 

But there's hope. It wont be all bad or all hard. You know Ignacio is with you, and will enjoy visiting Susie and getting out of the area, visiting the Marquez's and the new area and home where they will live, and coffee time with Mom and studying French. You will start reading St. Maria Faustina's diary recommended by the priest. 

You will be so ready and excited to start a challenge, be on a mission with going back to school. You will need to be hit in the head a couple of times before you really feel convinced and see it for yourself though. Hearing it at the sister meetup doesn't sink in for you- of course, since you're so used to doing what you're doing, you're practically a pro! And neither will hearing it again at Apple Hill. It wont be until Susie mentions it over the phone and you begin to really see it for yourself, pray, research and discern. Things start there. 

Susie and you have different journeys and timelines, but the day you decide and consider to enter into and apply for your Master's program is when Susie starts dating the guy she met from work. You are both experiencing brand new chapters, all on your own, in different ways. Let the journey begin, and embrace it!

Sincerely,

Your Future Self 8/14/22

Similarities to My Grandma

 I wrote down similarities to my grandma:

-Moved to San Jose with her Mom, I'm a Grad Student at SJSU

-Both tall and more on the slender side

-Married 'later' in life (wasn't married in her 20's)

Was baptized and went to school at St. Augustine's Church, St. Augustine is my patron saint this year and a parish I would go to and pray at often

-Both June babies

-Her father's name was Julius, Julius was a character in some of my short stories (at the time I didn't know it was a family name)

-Married at St. Clare's Catholic Church, I start work on St. Clare's feast day (August 11th) 

Poland Visit

 Yesterday, I checked one of the websites that I would usually check when it was slow at work. I came across an interesting and beautiful video when the Prelate of Opus Dei in June visited Poland for his address where young people, families, older and middle-aged people attended and were able to listen to his words and also ask him questions that were important to them, something that they were going through, needed help or advice for. 

I thought it was interesting for him to go to Poland for his important visit. I associate Poland with St. Pope John Paul II and St. Maria Faustina, but I don't know much about it, its history, etc.

When I heard the Polish language spoken, it sounded similar to Russian. It was beautiful and cool to hear, to recognize slight similarities.

I also really liked The Prelate's words in response to someone's question, seeking advice, etc. His answers in response, were simple and clear, easy to understand and logical. They reminded me in some ways of St. Josemaria who was the founder of Opus Dei, the spiritual nature of Opus Dei and just the practicality, simplicity and beauty of seeking God's will and knowing He is with us.

I know I will keep coming back to the Opus Dei website for spiritual encouragement and inspiration. 

Sister Sister

As I was going for my run yesterday late afternoon, as I sometimes do, I looked up at her old room windows imagining Susie was there working on her computer for some assignment or doing something else. These memories come back to me in good cheer, remembering those sweet, precious times of her living at home and usually busy with a variety of things. I can only smile, keeping it all in memory. I made a list of fun little reminders that came to me recalling things that made living with her fun, and spontaneous. She knew when she needed to relax, rest, and enjoy the moment or day. I think these will help me do the same!

-Watch Formed 

We had a number of movie nights, but what was enjoyable also was finding a great movie or documentary on Formed. We watched a documentary about St. Therese of Lisieux and another called Mary of Nazareth, we loved that one!

-Paint Nails

This always came with fun, vibrant tunes, chatting and being amused with deciding on a color.

-Pray/Adoration/Pray Rosary

We wouldn't always pray together or go to adoration together. Sometimes we would see each other there after work, but it was always inspiring knowing we could count on each other for prayer and encourage one another in praying the Rosary and drawing closer to our Lady. We both loved to have our own little corners of prayer in our rooms. She would usually light a candle of some sort, kneeling on the side of her bed, write in her journal. Me, sitting against my bed and writing in my journal, reading a spiritual book. Our own corners, space, but united. 

-Light Candles

Haven't I mentioned this a few times now? Plenty of candles to go around like it's her own shop. Some from old friends, weddings, birthday presents. Some better scented and sweetness or pumpkin spice. Some small, some thicker and others lasting for a few years. Glow, peace, aroma. 

-Write letters to people

Always a letter to write to a friend, a niece, or other family member. Great at writing, keeping in touch and making time for the sacredness of snail mail. 

-Listen to calming Music

Either happening while writing, painting nails, or another relaxing activity.

- Bring work to the library/B & N/ Cafe

She always had work to get done for her Credential classes, or tests to study for. What more enjoyable way than to go to a nice, quiet library, or Starbucks or B & N where you could easily stay there for hours and soak in the ambiance and still be productive! There would be many times we would go there together too. 

-Write in journal or blog

Sometimes Susie would share some of her journal entries with me or in her prayer journals. It was always so interesting to her what she was going through at that time. Or she would have some free open time and want to write on her blog and delve into her creative spirit. 

-Read a good book

Often times she would like to cuddle with a good book she was reading. Either one from the library, a Little Free Library and want to lay on the couch or her bed and have a reading night, perhaps with a hot drink.

-Talk and meetup with friends and contacts

Susie has a number of friends and people she keeps in contact with. She would be in touch with them either through texting, phone calls or meeting up in person. It was always interesting hearing about these meetups, conversations, and seemed like a good time. It is always good to meet up with others and plan something, even one isn't that close, just doing something different can add that spice to life. 

-Study Language

On occasion, we would study language together. She would keep up with her Spanish and I would either be study Chinese, or Arabic, Hebrew or something else. Or what happened more often, I would study language, and read a book while she studied for her RICA Test, Credential class work and the like. 

-Go for a nice walk/run

Being in nature is always refreshing. When Susie was going through bouts of anxiety, going on her daily walks was very helpful for her. And even when she wasn't anxious, walks and runs were essential for rejuvenation, relaxation and even inspiration (just like me). We didn't always have the same running route, but if I ever did see her, it looked like she was running hard and enjoying the challenge or liking the laid-back walks as well. 

-Read a play

As an English major, she read a number of classics and even some plays. (I don't know all of them). One time, she was trying to read the play, The Hunchback of Notre Dame. She stuck with it for a while, until she decided she didn't like or understand it anymore, but she was close to finishing. But just the challenge and even obscurity of reading a play is a good thing. It makes me want to get back into reading Shakespeare plays. 

-Use accessories and clothes well

Susie used what she had well. She never had more than what I had as I would probably go shopping more frequently. But she used her clothes and accessories well. I remember having a lot of fun sometimes picking out her outfits for her when she let me for her workdays, mixing and matching things and with the accessories. Most times she liked and wore what I configured!

-Think of others, in prayer intentions, when shopping (find something that looks like them)

Susie kept others in her mind and prayers. And when she saw something that reminded her of someone, she wouldn't hesitate to mention it or share it. Like one time, she saw a pile of nicely decorated style of books stacked up like a Christmas tree at the library, and she sent me a photo and thought of me. Or another time, she saw a store that had the same name as our brother's daughter's name and sent him a photo. Little things like that are sweet. 

-Laugh well and hard

Always up for a good laugh, finding the humor and joy in life. Lightheartedness is honey to the soul. When we found something funny, we could easily laugh so hard about it, not noticing the other people around us, totally in our own world. 

-Clean, keep room organized, tidy and inviting

She is by nature a clean person, easier to be clean and orderly than messy.

-Keep room smelling nicely with perfume spray, and scented candles

I think I already mentioned this one:)

-Sleep in, take naps

When Susie felt tired, sleepy she would easily make time for a cat nap in the afternoon or enjoy sleeping in on a Saturday morning. That extra rejuvenation was key, and finding that a darkened room, some shut eye helped with feeling more energized and awake. 

Getting ready. Morning of brother's wedding

Sleeping over at her apartment

Ministry Bonfire

Fashion Focus

 I used to have a fashion blog. All the other blogs I had in the past had some sort of inspiration and relevancy to style and fashion. Those times were in my early 20's when I loved putting together outfits, went on too many thrift shopping sprees and probably had too many clothes. I loved receiving the J. Crew magazines in the mail (I didn't subscribe to it but maybe one of my siblings did, so we kept receiving it), and looking through. I would even rip out certain pages I liked and write over with a nice quote or make a list of 'summer goals' in black sharpie with the backdrop of a pretty picture for inspiration. 

I wouldn't say those days are completely over. I recently found one of those crinkled magazine pictures with the quote I wrote over it, "Occupy your minds with good thoughts." And what a great reminder to keep coming back to. Although I don't have a fashion blog or share or write much about personal style here, I would still consider it an interest, even a hobby for me. Not regarding shopping as a hobby, but putting together an outfit, or finding pieces that work well together on a daily basis. I enjoy doing that, it comes naturally and is usually something I look forward to. But the emphasis in it all, the sheer focus of it for a blog has faded away. 

I feel it's also a form of growing more into my adult self. Sure, I enjoy shopping. And still on occasion to those thrift stores, but not with the same intensity or extremeness of spending a lot of money on a frequent basis or whimsical purchases like I used to. I think I've also become more practical (hopefully) in terms of style and purchasing items. I remember I used to buy a lot of random things that were more extravagant or impulse buys in which the clothes or items would have a rather short life span in my closet. I'm learning how to be better at that too and see how much I'm spending on myself versus on others, and/or doing for others in comparison. 

I think what also made me think of fashion and style was due to seeing a video from a catholic young woman who also writes and is into fashion, a stylist. I looked her up and saw that she has a blog dedicated to style. I loved her writing style. I appreciated and resonated with her honesty of the relationship between shopping on impulse and with cheap clothing, or more intentional buying or even shopping in your closet and coming up with new pieces. I want to try to do the latter more, as we usually have everything need to recreate new outfits and pieces than we initially thought. I was inspired from there. 

Her personal style is one of uniqueness and flair, bold and contrasting. I also appreciated how she sees fashion not so much as a shallow or materialistic thing but something meaningful, that goes hand in hand with our dignity, beauty and worth and coinciding it with St. John Paul II's teaching on the Theology of the Body. 

Nowadays, I find it important to dress when I look around and see a number of half-dressed, super casually dressed women, and I wonder where did the class and refinement go? Putting on an outfit showcases to others what your standards are, how you see yourself etc... It's like saying a mission statement without saying a word. I find it that more encouraging to dress well, intentionally and care for my personal style because in small and big ways, it speaks volumes in a world where femininity and feminine pieces are being threatened and confused, skin is in and casual dress wearing like pajamas is anywhere acceptable and trendy. 

Though fashion and style are no longer a big part of my blogging and writing, it's still something I care and think about. :)

St. John Vianney Inspiration

 Today is the feast day of St. John Vianney, the patron saint of priests. I remembered exactly a year ago at this time. My parents and I were going on our camping trip to Mt. Lassen, but we had to leave early because of the turbulent fire nearby. 

It was a little over a week later when I desired to learn more about him. I did some work at my job right before the school year started. It was an interesting time- what felt like sourness internally with so much changing around me, but things staying stagnantly the same for me. I needed something new, something vibrant and interesting if I was going to thrive. After the short workday, I went on over to the library, needing something to keep me inspired- ideas, books, learning. 

Somehow, what came to mind quickly was looking up books on St. John Vianney. Maybe it was because I knew he struggled in seminary, or that he was a strong spiritual fighter in the parish he was serving and conquering the devil; maybe I knew I needed his intercession and witness in what felt like a rock-hard season that was forming.

I did find a book about him from Link + and enjoyed reading and learning about his life, his priestly ministry, sacrifices, mortifications and the graces God gave him to change the city and parish in Ars, France. He changed it to become more devote, religious and come away from its secularism. I have also read another great book about this saint my sister had that was also informative and spiritually enriching. 

I am grateful for that inspiration in what felt like digging a well to form some sort of inspiration to pull me through. May the Cure of Ars intercede for us and be with us on our journey and to assist with holy, and active parishes and priests. 

A Grandma's Intercession

Remembering my grandma's death anniversary today, and all she was and is to us now in heaven, her story, her suffering, her faith. My sister created a beautiful memory book of her, and it's a treasure to have and look back on the Grandma I never met, that most of us never did. I know she is close and interceding for us.  

"I think it is relevant to write in here tonight, because I so vividly remember my second day at In-N-Out. Also, it being the 30th anniversary of Grandma Redmond's death. I remember always looking at Grandma and Grandpa's picture on the dresser in the big room and saying a prayer to them to watch over me at work. I think I was thinking about work all day and weekend and getting ready was nerve wracking. Remembering the apron pinned correctly felt like a nightmare since the manager told me about it, that it didn't look right as well as my hair not properly tucked into my hat. Eating humble pie had just begun..." 

-From my notebook, 8/2/2016

While Holding the Baby

 Holding the baby, so soft, cuddly and sweet. Every time I held him in my arms, he felt secure. He enjoyed looking out the back window to see and observe. Reflection was in his eyes. He's grown so big, so fast, where have these months gone? I'm sure my sister asks the same question who had him in early February. 

I sat in the rocking chair as he fell asleep, so gently, beautifully and peacefully. Holding him and rocking him brought back memories of holding and caressing Santiago, his older brother almost 3 years ago. Knowing that God sees us as His children, as His sweet and lovable children. I couldn't but help reflect on these months, on the fast pace of time. 

It was only in January when my sister and I were talking and I was sitting in that comfortable and soft rocking chair. She wasn't due yet, just another few weeks. It was winter chill in the air, the feel of freshness, newness of the year ahead but also waiting for warmth and waiting for God's plan. She was anticipating her baby boy to be born and be healthy and secure in her arms.  I was anticipating a busy semester with school, work, and wedding season focused upon nearly every conversation that held the air like water droplets. I was trying to find creativity again, an outlet when I felt down, overwhelmed with the busyness and still making time to go to early Mass.

I was thinking about that time since it's been a whirlwind since. The first half of the year has approached and gone like the passing of the night. It seemed as if I was able to process and slow down a bit while embracing sweet Isacc in my arms. He had the comfort to sleep and rest on, and don't we also have the same with God's loving heart. Holding the cute baby with a beautiful smile, mysterious hazelnut eyes reminds me of God's beautiful creation, His presence and how close He is.