Who We Are

My room. A project, a long-term project mind you. A project that is easily avoided, forgotten or excused. A project that brings upon hope, new habits, inspiration and decor, but also one that entails hard work, dedication, commitment, and intentionality. Oh, and also makes me realize that I am a pack rat! That I keep nearly everything, mostly for sentimental value, or that I need it or want to need it somewhere in the distant future that never really seems to present itself in the end. 

That's why I can relate to Joanna Gaines and her book- 'The Stories We Tell Ourselves' in so many ways. She says she is also a 'hoarder'. I don't like that word; it has a very negative connotation, or I find it quite extreme. There are reasons for keeping things, but what helps is knowing the why. I find that having someone help me or guide me along is actually essential and more productive in the long run. 'Should I keep this? or What should I do with this?' I would ask my mom and she would mostly immediately say throw it away. And that helped a lot, because I realized I was holding onto something or attached for practically no reason. It put things into perspective. 

newly organized bookshelf:)

Where did all the books go? They are not all displayed- so the ones I have read recently, and multiple times are stored away in boxes. This keeps them more organized and the ones I haven't read yet are priority. 

I realized there were other similarities as well. Reading her book and learning more about her and her story has been really interesting and almost therapeutic in some ways. "Maybe to you the idea of floating, looking out and seeing nothing but the expanse of sea- no landmarks, fewer responsibilities- sounds kind of perfect, like a deep, gorgeous exhale. Maybe the idea of empty hands sounds like freedom. Drifting makes me anxious. If I don't know where I'm going, if I don't know what's next, I might as well be lost."

 I can connect to that in some ways- knowing what the plan is, being mentally prepared is how I operate. Thinking/planning ahead just a little helps keeps things even keel. 

I realized that I'm not alone. And most especially being more cautious, less adventurous, or fear of the unknown is okay and has its good side. And there are pros and cons, but instead embracing who we are, how we were made by God, and embracing our stories she is proclaiming in her book.