Picture Day

 

This picture was taken a year ago today. I remember my feelings well. The class I was helping in was still crazy and out of control, and full of boys. I was getting more and more busy with my classes, assignments and zoom calls, and I felt tired on the regular with demanding work and school schedules. 

 I distinctly remember desiring for more in my schedule- not yet a professional in my field, but wanting to somehow, someway gain experience. The school year pictures were taken in the library, and I remember asking one of the workers there- a library tech, if she liked her job and told her what I was studying. I felt somewhat stuck in my position and didn't see how it was going to help or be related to my needed experience.

Flash forward, now I am interning at a library and gaining experience and exposure just like I had wanted, dreamed and yearned for quite a long time! I look back on this time not knowing what would unfold or happen, and I'm filled with awe and gratitude of how it all has turned out thus far. 

I looked back at this school photo (my only yearbook photo in the 4 years I worked there), and throughout the school year I saw the growth and change with the seasons. I wanted to keep this ID card, but initially I didn't like the photo. Aren't we always our own worst critic, overlooking and insecure about everything? (It doesn't help when your coworker says not so nice comments about your photo either.) 

But now I like it, as it reminds me of how much I endured last school year- personal growth, struggles in job and learning curves as well as in my program. I can see God working and orchestrating it all. It was also the morning I went to Mass and confession, so God gave me all the graces for that day despite its hard parts. 

I want to tell my past self- 'don't worry, you are where you are meant to be for now. Just enjoy it, learn and grow from it.' Most days I did feel like I was doing the right thing and in the right place and sensed a lot of peace- even when there were harder moments, exhausting days and noise levels that depleted my energy. I'm glad I stuck with it and learned more about myself in the process. 

I didn't know today was the Feast of the Holy Name of Mary, so of course she has been interceding for me as well.