A Pentecost Mass

 Happy Pentecost!! The feast of the Holy Spirit and the Birthday of the Church. Yesterday, I went to the first Mass of a newly ordained priest who spent one of his years in seminary helping out in that parish, about 2 years ago. He celebrated his first Mass at that parish. It was a very beautiful Mass, with many priests and deacons concelebrating, what a truly joyous feast. The new priest didn't give his first homily, he had a friend priest give it and mention the holy and lively feast of Pentecost. He also elaborated on how as humans we love to be in control- of situations, people, but how we need to let the Spirit lead us, and guide us and let it go. 

At the Mass was also the former pastor of this parish, and whom I would regularly go to for Confession and Spiritual Direction. He came a little late, and I saw him enter through the side doors, close to the side I was sitting on. I thought it would be so interesting and nostalgic for him to return again to his former parish, a church he had served at for 8 years and had so many fond and special memories. He abruptly was transferred right when the Pandemic hit hard and there was no formal goodbye for him. I'm sure it was also quite beautiful, emotional and other feelings I can't put words to for him to see the community again, his old parishioners and see how much the parish has changed in a good way, small and larger adaptations since his departure. 

He came around to my side of the pews for holy communion and I received communion from him. And later, while exiting the back doors, I saw my parents outside where they and many others viewed the Mass, and also saw a familiar face from the ministry from a few years ago. As I was talking with this contact, we saw the priest pass by and we said hi to him and talked briefly. I hadn't ever talked with this priest outside the confessional, I'm sure he saw me often at the church and his masses. But it was  through a screen that I would tell him my sins, and receive his peaceful demeanor and gentle spirit for some spiritual help. 

I remember how painful it was for me knowing that he was leaving and transitioning to another parish. I also remember that I wrote about it here on my blog because I felt so strongly about it, with a lot going on, it was another added change and unknown. Part of me thought of that memory and that big transition for me, (which honestly took a couple of months to fully adapt to), and how that rocky and emotional feeling wasn't there anymore. I appreciate this priest and his gifts, but I don't miss him and his presence in the church like I used to. I don't feel the need to continue going to him for the sacraments like I had used to thinking of last year. And I don't feel so attached to those memories as I once did. I realize the many gifts of this new pastor at the parish, as well as the very different ones, and very different temperament and personality as well. 

I find it interesting to have these thoughts, and feelings about it. I sense that I'm in a new phase and not always so clinging to once was, though of course it was very special and enriching for that time and purpose. I think this also has to do with how the Holy Spirit is always with us and guiding us to where He wants us to be, and to go. 

I could really sense the Spirit yesterday with the very special and beautiful Mass, with the music and the very touching words the new priest gave at the end of Mass, thanking everyone and especially his parents (also in Vietnamese) and his fellow priests and friends there. I could sense the Spirit with the gathering outside, most people lined up to receive a blessing from this new, fresh and vibrant priest, as well as conversing with the former acquaintance from ministry, and just sensing the liveliness from the parish, all in red vestments, and red and orange flowers and bouquets strewed about, it truly was a feast- not to mention the food boxes that they gave out at the end. 

May the Holy Spirit continue to guide us to where He wants and wills us to be, and speak to our hearts. Our hearts that are burning with His love, His peace that only He can give.