Lessons Learned Along the Way

 This is the last week of school. Personally, I can't wait, and I'm sure I'm not the only one, especially with this year of zoom call after zoom call of virtual learning and classrooms. Of seeing pixels on the screen of faces of the students or just ceilings or just tops of foreheads, or better yet just profile pictures marking the camera off mode as most comfortable. I feel like I've been sitting the whole school year, at my desk, in my comfy chair, looking out the majestic mountain that showcases through landscape mode through the windows in the classroom. But my inner emotions, my inner world, my heart and my head have done the exact opposite of sitting. Its done back flips, and leaps, sinks and swims, runs of joy, and peace and walks through desert, tears, loneliness and doubt. 

Not just sitting at my job, in classrooms and zoom rooms, but the daily drives as well as the visits to the  blessed sacrament chapel, and sitting and praying for a while. On the outside, it easily appears that perhaps not much is happening, things look the same. But I know that when I started the school year and where I am now are two very different places, that I wouldn't have ever predicted to where this journey would go and evolve, unfold and develop in its own time. We know in our faith that at the time of transubstantiation in the Mass, the bread and wine are no longer bread and wine, they are the Body and Blood of our Lord Jesus Christ. Though it appears and tastes like bread and wine, we know it isn't any longer. The meaning, the purpose has changed, and we believe it is holy, it is sacred, it is Jesus Himself. 

This transformation I can easily see clearly now after this long, tumultuous, hard, isolating, deepening, interesting, purposeful school year. I use this word 'purpose' surprisingly, since for a long while I didn't understand, I didn't see the purpose in what I was doing, how it was playing out. I was thinking of it just today, what was the purpose of going through this crazy school year? And I received some clearer answers, mostly where it brought me with my program to pursue a MLIS. 

But also perhaps God wanting me to learn key virtues such as patience, perseverance, hope, faith, fortitude, trust. He didn't bring on these various challenges and sufferings for no purpose, or simply because I deserve them, but firstly because He loves me. God is always close to us in a special and intimate way in our sufferings. I believe also enduring it was for my salvation, and the salvation for souls, as I think a lot of various hard parts in life God can use for our good and our gain. 

This school year also brought with it ways to be innovative. This year, it felt like it was my middle name. From using my time well when not a lot was happening, I wasn't very busy in classes, or just lack of interaction mostly due to zoom and technology, was always a struggle. I started bringing books with me to read, language studies like French to turn to for dire inspiration and learning. Not to mention, the many, many times of browsing the library catalog requesting books of interest or just reviewing my dashboard page to see which books have come in. 

There's also been the increase of desire to put my work into a form of prayer, and be attentive to the Mass, the readings or any simple prayers or aspirations, such as the memorare. Also, the flexibility of being able to go to Mass was very crucial for me, in reciting the many graces and strength I would need. These have also been life savors in helping me grow, to enhance in my spiritual life amidst the mundane and ordinary. And its been a great lesson, as well as bringing about more peace and joy even in the hard parts. 

These are some lessons I've learned and a look back at the year, very abridged. The memories, the notes, doodles in my notebooks, the pictures throughout these months all showcase this and remind me of the story of it all. It's one that's made me stronger and showed me a depth I didn't know I had, an endurance that God has graced me with. Its all grace, its all a gift, and with hands and arms open, this is what I have to show for it, and I hope its pleasing to Him. 

Fall

Just the first few weeks!

A prayer from Immacule, a favorite author

Visiting the SJSU Library Science Admin Building

Those smoky, grey, chalk skies from the fires

The fan says summer, but the shawl made by mom speaks Fall!

Fun French names inspired to write down

Babysitting Santiago on a warm October afternoon

Winter

The lovely saint cookbook

Running in the rain

Reading this really interesting book for my class, in one of my favorite spaces:)

Those pink and orange morning skies

Babysitting Luna, a cat and confidant to snuggle with

Spring

Studying French the last week of school, and the ending of online learning!

Avila Beach!

A favorite wishing note found in the Botanical Garden- "I wish to visit the Eiffel Tower"

The famous Christmas kitty taking a nap, and nice company

Visiting San Antonio Mission with Dad